Chapter 78

Nicholas

I was trying my absolute best to feel good about this hug I was currently having with Lilliana, but I couldn’t keep my full body from cringing away from it. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t get my chest and my legs to cooperate.

Inside, I wanted to be as far from Lilliana as possible, not holding her closely like this.

I knew as well as anyone that Lilliana’s entire personality was fake. She always agreed with me, or said what she thought I wanted to hear. It was frustrating and oftentimes insulting. But I couldn’t blame her exactly.

I also wore a mask, hiding my true feelings underneath.

Yet our reasons for shielding ourselves was different. I hid because the kingdom needed someone in control, who wouldn’t make foolish choices based on feeling alone. She hid because she hoped to convince me that she was someone worthy of being Luna.

But I couldn’t be sure. Not until I had seen past her shell and knew the true her underneath.

As it was, I knew next to nothing about her, really.

I pulled back from the hug, enough to speak to her. She averted her gaze from me, likely in an attempt to be demure. I guessed she would have no way of knowing that I actually preferred woman who could hold their own against me.

I did not want a weak-willed partner who would bend to my every suggestion.

But Lilliana was the person my father had chosen for me. Unless something earth-shaking were to occur to change his mind, I’d likely be stuck with her for the rest of my life.

I had to try to get along with her, if only to attempt to keep my future from being excessively miserable.

“Maybe you could tell me something about yourself,” I suggested.

“What would my prince like to know?”

I frowned at her use of ‘my prince,’ but pressed on. “Oh, I don’t know. What’s your favorite color?” I only needed one real thing to hold onto, however tiny.

“My favorite is whatever my prince prefers,” she said.

“Favorite food?”

“Whatever you prefer.”

I huffed out a frustrated breath. “Favorite season?”

“Which is yours, Prince Nicholas?”

I rubbed my forehead. I was getting nowhere fast with this conversation. “Surely you have some opinions of your own.”

“What need would I have of those, sir? I exist to ever be your second. I will spend my life supporting your rule.”

“Yes, sure. But you are your own person. Shouldn’t we at least try to see if some of our preferences align? If we are well-matched, we might even begin to like each other.”

Finally, she glanced up at me, but only to cast me a curious look. “Why would we need to like each other? We would be married.”

How… depressing. “How foolish of me.” My hopes had not been high for Lilliana, but somehow they sunk even further.

I truly was looking forward toward a life of loneliness with such a wife who would deny me even her honest opinions on her favorite color.

A flash of movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention. Further down the hallway, Piper had knelt beside Elva. Elva appeared to be crying.

At once, I stepped away from Lilliana. “If you will please excuse me.”

I rushed to Piper and Elva.

“Prince Nicholas,” Piper said, spotting me. Elva turned away from me, breaking my heart a little.

“Elva? What’s wrong?” I asked.

Elva sniffed. When she finally glanced up at me, it was with shiny damp eyes. “Do you like that other girl?”

I dropped to one knee, coming down to her level to look her in the eye. “Lilliana is…” I didn’t know how to explain. “Special.” Vague seemed best.

That didn’t seem to help. Elva openly sobbed.

“It’s okay, honey.” Piper rubbed her back. “He’s allowed to have other friends.”

Elva wiped her nose with her sleeve. Her eyes fixed on me, she asked, “But what about Mommy?”

“Oh, sweetie,” Piper said. “We’ve talked about this.”

“You like her more than Mommy?”

“I’m sorry,” Piper said to me.

I shook my head. “No. I don’t like her more than your mom.”

I looked at Piper and found her looking back at me with wide eyes. Had she thought something different? Surely she knew how Lilliana was. And out of everyone here, she would know what I truly desired in a partner.

“What’s your favorite color, Piper?”

She seemed surprised, but still answered, “Green.”

Lilliana could not hold a candle to Piper.

I refused to believe that I still held romantic feelings for Piper. If I felt anything more than friendship at any moment, it was likely I was only remembering how I used to feel when we had been dating.

Nostalgia held a strong influence.

But even only as friends, Piper was miles ahead of the rest of the girls here, in terms of my favor. If it had been proper for me to do so, I would have claimed her as a favorite before Julian could have a chance.

Even though she had no desire to be Luna.

“But…” Elva said. “If you like Mommy, why can’t you be my daddy?”

Piper’s face went red. “I’m so sorry –”

I waved off her concern. “I’m not mad.”

To a child like Elva, everything must have seemed so simply. If two people liked each other, then they should be together. It made sense, if nothing else in the world mattered.

Unfortunately, there were outside factors at play here. A crown and a throne, not least among them.

“That’s a tough question, Elva,” I said. “But there are reasons, I promise.”

She tucked her chin down to her chest, sulking.

I leaned forward, as if telling her a joke. “You are still my little princess though, no matter what happens.”

That seemed to assuage her for now. She was still crying, but I watched as she tried to fight back a smile.

Piper smiled as well. “Hear that, Elva? You are still his favorite.”

Elva looked at me again. “Yeah?”

I nodded, and suddenly had an armful of Elva, as she flung herself at me. Piper continued to rub her back as Elva buried her face into my shoulder.

For one brief moment, I could almost imagine this as my family, with Piper as my wife, and Elva as my child. My heart pumped heart and I felt light and relaxed.

It was impossible for so many reasons, but it was such a beautiful little dream, that for the full length of that moment, it stole my breath away.

“Well, isn’t this a cheery little sight,” said a gruff male voice from behind us.

I glanced, and seeing who it was, urged Elva away from me and into Piper’s arms instead. Then I stood and faced the intruder.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends, Nicholas? I’m dying to meet them.”

I swallowed hard. I had hoped not to trouble Piper with too many royal affairs. She had made clear she was only here for Elva’s sake. But this particular intruder could not be ignored.

“Uncle, this is Piper and her daughter, Elva. Piper, this is my mother’s brother, Terry.”

Piper rose to her feet. Elva quickly shuffled to hide behind her.

“Piper, indeed. I’ve heard so much about you,” Terry said.

“Nice to meet you,” Piper said.

Uncle Terry sized Piper up. His expression and demeanor stayed cordial, but his lingering gaze made me wonder what he thought of her.

Feeling a bit protective, I sidestepped a bit, blocking his line of sight.

His gaze shifted to me, and he smiled.

“Curious,” he said, and I wondered if I had just given my true self away.