Chapter 53

“I hope you can understand and respect Nicholas’s need to move on from the train wreck you once shared together,” the King continued.

I swallowed thickly, fear mixing with anger. What Nicholas and I had was special, not anything like a terrible accident. We’d cared deeply for each other. I’d had to leave him for his own sake, but I had never stopped caring about him.

Yet as annoyed as the accusation made me, I did understand the King’s point of view. Nicholas had revealed to me that he was still hung up on our break up even now, three years later. He deserved to be free, to find someone to love.

I doubted, however, that the King’s concern for his son had little to do with genuine care and everything to do with full control.

Nicholas had been tied up in this from the start. The King and Queen had likely already chosen partners for each of their children, and this competition was nothing more than a farce for the people’s entertainment.

“I have told no one of your shared past, and those that do know are sworn to secrecy on the threat of death. You understand, don’t you, Piper?”

I understood the threat well enough. It sounded a lot like if word got out about Nicholas and me, the King would have me killed.

So much for making me untouchable, I doubted there was anything Julian or Nicholas could do to stop a King’s direct order, no matter how heinous.

“I understand,” I said, proud of myself when the words came out unbroken.

“Good.” He lowered his hands. A kind smile spread across his lips, so different from the dark threat he’d just given. “Enjoy your time here, Piper. Let things play out as they will. But never, and I mean never, allow yourself to grow too comfortable.”

“I understand.” The word did shake this time.

“We understand each other then.” He waved me toward the door. “Have them bring in the next girl when you leave.”

I rushed as quickly as propriety would allow me toward the door. Once outside, I delivered the King’s request to one of his servants, who rushed to accommodate.

Yet no sooner had I walked away from the King’s servants and into the ballroom, then Nicholas sought me out.

“We need to speak privately.”

I shook my head, adamantly against it with the King’s words rattling in my head. It was a major faux pas to deny the prince a requested audience, but I reasoned the King’s request took precedence.

“I’m sorry, Nicholas. I just can’t.”

I hurried toward the drink table, eager to drown my worries in champagne. I haven’t drank since before Elva, when I’d had a stolen sip or two underage at the academy. I’d always wanted to keep my head.

I was eager to lose it now.

Unfortunately, Nicholas followed. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

I snatched a champagne flute from the table and went to down it. He plucked it from my hand before I could and returned it to the table.

I glared at him. “I’m allowed to drink.”

“You’re upset.”

I shook my head. “Just leave me alone.”

He startled, straightening. “What?”

“We can’t talk. Leave me alone.” I had thought I’d hardened myself to him, but with the shock of the King’s knowledge of our past, and the fear that came with his threat, I found myself struggling to lie to myself.

Other than Elva, Nicholas was the only person I could truly talk to in this palace. I trusted some, Mark, Susie, and Charlotte. But they didn’t know me like Nicholas did. They couldn’t see me, and in once glance know that I was falling apart.

“Come with me. We’ll talk in private. You can tell me what’s going on. Then, I’ll leave you alone.”

I sniffed, tears threatening. “I can’t…”

“You would deny the direct command of your prince?” he asked, voice firm. It was an act, I knew him enough to be able to tell. But he was giving me the reason I needed comply with his wishes if I so chose.

And I desperately wanted to.

“Okay,” I said at last. He utilized his servants to draw attention away from us. When he was certain we were safe, he whisked me away, out onto the balcony where we were alone.

Night had set in. The moon was bright above us, illuminating the spacious balcony more than the candlelight could.

Nicholas maintained distance, not touching, though he stayed close enough to reach for me if I faltered. My twisted ankle felt much better now, though, so I walked steadily. It was only my hands that were shaking.

We stopped at the railing, and together looked out over the darkness. I thought the gardens might be below, but I couldn’t be certain.

He stood beside me, looking at me rather than the view.

“Piper,” he prompted.

“Your father knows about us,” I said.

He froze.

“He had you followed, all those years ago. He knows everything.” I clasped my hands together. “He told me to stay away from you. He’s right, Nicholas. I should stay away.”

“No,” Nicholas said, coming closer. He pressed his palm into the small of my back. I should have shied from the touch, but I melted into it instead.

Despite everything, his closeness was the comfort I needed.

But I didn’t want to die. A tear escape my eye and tracked down my face.

“Piper.” A hint of desperation marred Nicholas’s voice, tightening it a bit from its usual false calm. He was almost recognizable. “Elva told me you keep my picture in your wallet. Tell me, is it true?”

My breath caught in my throat. Elva had told him about that? When? Why?

I hadn’t even known she had seen it so much. Had she recognized him from the start? Was that why he ran to her in the beginning, because she knew to trust him?

“It’s true,” he said, before I could decide whether or not to deny it. “I can tell just by looking at you.”

I lowered my head, as shame crept in. I allowed myself one last picture of him. I’d purged everything else, but I could never get rid of my favorite. He’d been smiling so bright, just for me.

I knew we couldn’t be together but I didn’t want to let him go, not all the way. I wanted to at least remember what it had felt like to be loved.

“I don’t understand,” Nicholas said, and he sounded almost as broken as I felt. “Why would you keep that picture?”

“I don’t know.” I didn’t have a good enough answer.

“If you care so much about me, how could you leave me for another man?”

“I didn’t.” The words came out in my grief and my upset. I hadn’t meant to say them.

His eyes were so expressive. Wide and confused. The flecks of green sparkled under the moonlight.

I wished I had an answer for him that made sense.

But the truth would only hurt him more… wouldn’t it?

“But Elva…” he said, and it was an effective counterpoint for someone who didn’t know the whole story.

He didn’t understand. How could he?

Elva looked like me, because she looked like my sister. If someone didn’t know that connection, they would never guess Elva wasn’t mine.

Nicholas wouldn’t understand. Not until I told him the truth.

My chest ached with longing. For years, I’d wanted him to know what really happened. But I’d held myself back.

He deserved better. He deserved more.

Maybe, thinking on it now, what he really deserved was the truth.

So I said, “Nicholas, do you remember my twin sister?”