Chapter 42

That night, my cold had healed enough that I could finally be reunited with Elva. I ran to her, and she ran to me. When she came close, I scooped her up into my arms and held her. Her arms came around my neck and she held me right back.

“I missed you, Elva. So much.”

“I missed you, Mommy.”

Mark and the nanny eventually joined us and I thanked them both profusely for watching my daughter.

“Thank you!” Elva said. “Thanks, Uncle Mark!”

I blinked.

Uncle Mark?

I looked at him and he looked embarrassed.

“I didn’t teach her that, I swear. She started doing it all on her own.”

I had been surprised, but I supposed I shouldn’t have been. After all, it had been a similar sequence of events that had led Elva to calling Anna, Auntie Anna.

“Don’t worry,” I told him. “Elva has a mind of her own about some things.”

Mark seemed relieved.

“Mommy,” Elva said. “Are we going to meet wolves tomorrow?”

“’We?’” I looked to Mark for explanation.

“Prince Nicholas personally invited Miss Elva,” he said.

“It could be dangerous.” I didn’t have an inner wolf so couldn’t speak to the wolves like the others could. I would have limited warning if a wolf was growing annoyed and might snap.

“Prince Nicholas is aware of your situation,” Mark said. “He’s asked me to relay to you that neither you nor Elva have anything to fear.

“I want to meet the wolves, Mommy!”

Nicholas wouldn’t purposefully endanger Elva. Of that, I was certain. If he said we would be safe, then we would be safe.

“Okay,” I told her. “We’ll go and meet the wolves tomorrow.”

“Yay!” Elva cheered.

Despite Nicholas’s reassurances, my nerves continued to be heightened as I carried Elva out past the gardens and into the grassy fields beyond, where the wolves were lined up, ready to greet their partners.

“Down, please,” Elva said.

Slowly, I lowered her down. “Now don’t run off. We have to hold hands.”

“I don’t want to hold hands.” She stubbornly crossed her arms.

“Elva,” I said, stern.

“Mommy.” She mirrored my tone.

“You don’t want to go back inside, do you?”

“No.” She pouted now.

I held out my hand and waggled my fingers. She sighed dramatically but finally took my hand.

Together we walked across the field.

Nathan directed each girl to their assigned wolf as they approached. I was no exception.

The wolf he led us to was sitting politely on the grass. It watched us approach, then tilted its head curiously.

“Hello, Mister Wolf!” Elva announced.

I held her back at a safe distance.

“Mommy, don’t be rude.”

“Hello, Mister Wolf,” I said with much less excitement.

Around us, the other girls were flourishing with their wolves, talking as if having a full conversation. Only a few were too impatient, and earned a growl. Nathan made note whenever that happened, likely lowering the score of those girls.

My wolf laid down in the grass. It blinked slowly, like it was bored.

I had to make a good impression or I wouldn’t last long.

Keeping Elva safely behind me, I inched closer to my wolf. I held out my hand for the wolf to sniff.

“I’m sorry,” I told it earnestly. “I lost my inner wolf a while ago. I can’t communicate with you like the others.”

I had no idea if it could understand me, but it made me feel better to talk. At the very least, it seemed to calm my own nerves.

The wolf looked at me a moment, before focusing on my hand. Then it leaned forward and sniffed.

Pride shot through me. It was a small victory, compared to everyone else. But for a wolf-less like me, this was a huge step forward.

After sniffing me, the wolf looked away again, disinterested. I supposed that was better than anger.

“Mommy, look at Susie!”

Further down the line, Susie had become something of a spectacle, engaging with her wolf far better than she ever had with humans. And the wolf seemed to adore her, bouncing playfully. Even other girls’ wolves had come closer to her, curious.

I watched her for a while as she gently spoke with the wolves, then pet them as they let her.

Susie eventually noticed me looking and waved.

During a break, Susie excused herself from her pack and came over to us. “How is it going?”

I gave her a sad kind of smile. “Okay, considering.” I glanced at my wolf, who lazed in the grass, then back to Susie. “Susie, can you ask my wolf their name?”

Her eyes lit up with excitement. “Of course!” She approached my wolf calmly, who raised its head. She didn’t say much. Mostly she just closed her eyes, like she was speaking inside of her mind, or maybe her heart.

I remembered what it felt like to have a wolf. That strong inner presence had given me confidence and courage on many occasions. I did my best to mimic what I had once been, but I felt the hole inside of me as vividly as if a physical piece of me had been carved away.

“She said that you can call her Silver,” Susie said, stepping back from the wolf.

Silver, a beautiful name for the large gray wolf with vibrant blue eyes.

Rosie leaned closer to me. “Give her some time. She’s not unsympathetic to your situation, just disappointed. She wanted to be able to bond with you like the others…”

“I understand.” I looked down at Silver. “I would have liked to bond, too.”

Across the field, the three princes greeted their own wolves. They were larger than all the rest, and seemed to have adopted their paired princes’ personalities.

Joyce’s sat near his side, tipping his head against Joyce’s leg. Julian’s dipped into a playful pose, its tongue lolling out. Nicholas’s stood regally at his right side, moving as he moved, though neither ahead nor behind. An equal.

Nicholas and his wolf came toward us then. Elva tugged at my hand.

I gave Nicholas an uncertain look.

“It’s safe,” he assured me.

I released Elva’s hand and she bound forward. She was shorter than the wolf, and had to look up at it.

“Hi, Mister Wolf!” she said excitedly. She paused a moment. “Oh. I’m sorry. Hi, Mister Night.”

Mister… Night?

Concerned, I turned to Nicholas, but he was watching the pair, a hint of awe in his eyes.

“Your daughter is talking to the wolf,” Nicholas said. “Such promising abilities in one so young.”

Dread curled in the pit of my stomach. “You mean… the wolf’s name is Night?”

“Yes.”

A fitting name for a wolf with a pitch black coat.

Elva giggled, like the wolf had told a joke. The wolf stepped forward and licked Elva’s cheek. She giggled harder.

Nicholas smiled a little. “Night is fond of her.”

That pleased me as well. Of course, I was proud of my little girl and her immense talent.

But with that pride also came fear.

Julian had warned me of this. For a girl her age to show such talent, she would surely become a target of the underground market, just as I had. No, worse than me.

They had snared me when I was almost an adult. Elva was just a child, barely older than a baby. She wouldn’t stand a chance against them.

Nicholas faced me and the good humor disappeared from his face. “You’re pale.”

How could I explain to him the potential dangers, when he didn’t even know my secrets?

Would the same people that came for my inner wolf come for Elva’s as well?