Chapter 259

While Elva was skipping around nearby, I explained to Susie everything that had happened the past few days with Nicholas and me, up to and including the most recent incident of him telling me he wanted to avoid having penetrative sex so I wouldn’t get pregnant.

Of course, I said all of this very quietly, careful of eavesdroppers.

“I can’t imagine he meant it as a rejection,” Susie said. She subtly placed a hand to her own stomach. “It’s smart to be careful. Things sometimes just… happen.”

“I know,” I said. “And I know he probably didn’t mean it badly, but it still hurts.”

“No probably about it,” Susie said. “He’s trying to protect you.”

I shook my head. I just couldn’t believe that, as much as I wanted to. Maybe that was part of it, but it wasn’t all of it. If he truly wanted me, wouldn’t we be able to face the whole world to be together?

“Look,” Susie said. “Why not just talk to him? Like I did with Mark. He probably doesn’t even realize what he did or how he sounded. Just now, he looked more confused than I’d ever seen anyone look. At least if you told him what he did wrong, he might be able to fix it.”

She was right, but I still hesitated. “Maybe this is a chance for a clean break,” I said.

Susie gasped. “What?”

“We’re going to have to say goodbye anyway. That’s been clear from the start. I’ve been avoiding it, and he has too. But I’m never going to be picked to be Luna. The royal family hates me. I’m his secret. There will come a day, sooner than later, where he will have to choose someone else to be his Queen and leave me behind.”

“Piper…”

“So shouldn’t I hold onto this hurt now, while I have it? Let it fester so that it’s easier to walk away from him when the time comes that I have to?”

“Do you think that will actually work?” she asked. “Or are you just kidding yourself?”

I couldn’t answer that.

“I could tell you what I think, but you won’t like it,” she said.

“Tell me,” I pressed.

“It will hurt either way,” Susie said. “So why hurt now when you don’t have to?”

I shook my head a little.

Across the room, Bridget and Nicholas had made their way back together. It was almost time to break for lunch. Bridget was telling Nicholas something, animatedly moving her hands. Nicholas stepped closer to her, presumably to hear her better. Much of the chatter in the room was growing louder, this close to lunch.

“They really do make a good-looking couple,” I said, hating myself for it. But it was true.

The beautiful movie-star and the handsome prince who had been childhood sweethearts, someday side-by-side on the throne. They’d probably turn it into a movie. Maybe I’d be written as the villain who tried to keep them apart, just like my part in the play.

“Don’t say that,” Susie said. “You are being far too self-sacrificing.”

“I agree,” said Julian, suddenly at my other side. “Besides it’s a total lie. They make for a terribly-looking couple.”

I glanced at him in surprise. “They are both very attractive.”

“Their terribleness is worse than appearances,” Julian clarified. “They are boring.”

“I agree,” Susie said, just as Elva ran up to her, curls and ribbons bouncing. She held up the ribbon that had earlier been loose, that had now totally fallen out.

“Susie! My ribbon. Can you help?” Elva asked, turning on her doe eyes.

Susie was not immune. “Of course, Elva. Let’s go find a brush.” She gave me a look with a small smile, and I smiled back, grateful she was so eager and willing to help Elva.

I was blessed to have actual friends here. People who loved and cared for Elva, for real.

Meanwhile, Julian, still watching Bridget and Nicholas interact, continued, “Bridget is a movie star. We can’t think she’d be happy sitting around all day in the palace while Nicholas deals with kingly duties. She’s going to need adventure. Excitement.”

“And you are the one who can deliver that?” I asked, lifting a brow at him.

He flashed me a grin. “A life with me would never be boring.”

I couldn’t deny that. Julian was certainly a force of chaos, even standing near him was like being caught in a hurricane. I could only imagine what it would feel like to be the one he was fully focused on, or the one he loved.

But… a hint of worry sat in the back of my heart. Julian could undoubtedly promise a life of excitement to whoever his chosen partner was. But what would that person do to deserve it?

“So you give her all of your passion, give her an adventure of a lifetime,” I said. “But what does she do for you?”

Julian’s brow pulled together ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”

“Relationships are give and take,” I said. “You would give her everything. Shouldn’t she bring something to your life as well?”

“She wouldn’t have to,” Julian said. “She’s perfect just as she is. It’s an honor simply to be around her.”

That, to me, sounded very dull. If what he said was true, then what was the difference between Bridget and something like a nice-looking statue?

Maybe Julian would be better off adopting a cat.

“You deserve better,” I said.

“There isn’t anything or anyone better than Bridget,” Julian said.

I snorted a harsh laugh. At his sharp look, I tried to turn it into a cough to cover. His eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“Have you even tried looking?” I said. “You’ve been a playboy since I’ve known you. Did you ever look at even one of those girls seriously?”

I already knew he hadn’t. His heart had always been so set on Bridget, that he treated those other girls like temporary playthings. Maybe they were in on it, maybe they weren’t. But he was never serious with any of them.

If he had given someone else a chance, maybe she could have shown him what a romance was supposed to look like. Waiting for true love was fine, but this, to me, didn’t seem like true love.

It seemed like obsession.

“I don’t need anyone but her,” he said.

Sadness bloomed in my heart. Julian, for all his flaws, was a nice guy and incredibly handsome. He could have any woman in the kingdom, except for this one.

Then, all of a sudden, an idea flashed in my mind. Maybe what Julian needed wasn’t to find someone serious, but to simply realize what a relationship was supposed to be like.

To have someone like you for you. For that person to be so excited to see you that they go through anything. For them to bring joy and excitement to the person’s life they cared about, as much as they received it from them.

And who better to show Julian than the woman he was already in a fake relationship with?

Me.

“Julian,” I said, turning to him.

He turned to me, too, watching me with caution. “Piper?”

“You deserve to know what being in a real relationship is like,” I said. “You should know what having an actual girlfriend should feel like.”

“What are you saying?” he asked.

I pointed at myself. “I’m going to show you.”

Now he was surprised. “You?”

“Yes,” I said. “I’m going to show you what love is supposed to look like.”