Chapter 120

Julian and I were on a couch in a sitting room, looking at each other. Julian had made himself comfortable, bringing on knee up onto the cushion so he could more easily face me. I was sitting very still with my hands in my lap.

I was still embarrassed about what had earlier happened with Nicholas. Both our bodies had responded to the position we’d been in, with me on top of him. I could only thank my luck that Julian had no walked in a minute or two earlier, or the teasing would have been relentless.

It was bad enough now, with the knowing smirk Julian kept flashing me.

“So,” I said, trying to get things back on track. “Mental self-defense.”

“Exactly. I’ve been thinking of the best way to help train you, and I’ve decided on role-play.”

I raised a brow. “Role-play?”

“I’ll pretend to be Terry and say all the terrible bullshit Terry would say, and you try to counter it. I’ll correct you when you do or say something that I know would only encourage the asshole. This way, we can help prepare you for your inevitable next meeting with him.”

That sounded reasonable enough, though I shivered unpleasantly at the thought of dealing with Terry again. I knew I would have to face him eventually. She’d seemed very interested in me, and as the Luna’s brother he’d likely be at more events. Still, I wished I didn’t have to.

Especially after what happened before, when he’d tried to drug and assault me.

I worried my hands together in my lap.

“Hey.” Julian didn’t touch me, but he leaned closer. I trusted him, mostly, so I drew comfort from his closeness. “You’re safe, okay? This is just a game, and you can tap out at any time.”

I shook my head. “I want to learn. I want to hold my own against him.”

“I know you do, but neither Nicholas nor I am ever going to let him corner you like he did before.”

His words were a kindness, but I held doubt. The princes had their own responsibilities and couldn’t be around me every minute.

I had to be responsible for my own safety. And that meant learning how to beat Terry at his own game.

“Ready?” Julian asked.

I nodded.

Julian’s whole demeanor shifted in an instant. His brow lowered while his smirk sharpened. It was as if he was channeling Terry himself.

It was… unnerving.

Julian stretched his arm around behind me on the back of the couch. Then he leaned in close enough to breathe on my shoulder.

“I’ve been watching you tonight, Piper,” Julian said. “You’ve been strutting around like you’re putting on a show just for me.”

My face went pale. This was too much, too real, too soon. I couldn’t move. I was locked in that moment with Terry, after he had given me the champagne laced with drugs.

Julian dropped the act in an instant. Every rigid line of his body softened, and I could breathe again.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “That was too much for the first time.”

“I-I have to learn.” I was rattled. My voice shook.

“Not yet,” Julian said. “Not that. We’ll start somewhere else.”

“Like where?”

He hummed. “My uncle may lust after you, but he’s also known for his pettiness. So, let’s say you came in wearing a gown that was more in line with what was popular last season.”

“Okay.” That sounded safer. I was used to dealing with that level of pettiness from some of the other candidates.

Julian switched into Terry-mode again, though this time, he kept some humor in his gaze. Terry wasn’t playful, so I could see Julian clearly behind the façade. He was holding back for my benefit, I knew, and I was grateful.

“What a charming dress you’ve chosen for this evening, Piper,” Julian said. He glanced down at my imaginary gown. “You must have an interesting reason for not choosing something more modern. I would love to hear it.”

I tried to get into the moment, imagining Terry saying something like that to me. The softness in Julian’s eyes kept me from falling to far into the fantasy.

I cleared my throat. “Don’t you find the trends of modern fashion tiresome? Not to mention wasteful. Why should I throw away a perfectly good dress simply because I have worn it once before.”

“A woman’s dress adds to her beauty. You wouldn’t put a rose inside a paper vase.”

“I wouldn’t pluck the rose at all.”

Julian’s mouth twitched upright. “Not even to show off its beauty. You’d keep it hidden away on some bush in the corner of the garden?”

“Anyone who knows where the rose bush is, would know they could easily go see the beauty for themselves. There’s no need to dress it up.”

Julian hummed.

I looked at him, surprised. “What? No good?”

“No, you did fine. The problem is we need to teach you to stop engaging with him at all.”

“How?”

He leaned back. “Oh, something like, ‘If you’ll excuse me, Sir, I must use the bathroom.’”

“I couldn’t say that!” I started to laugh.

“You could!” He smiled wide. “He’d leave you alone for a minute, at least. Long enough for you to get away and come to me or Nicholas. Or even Susie or Mark, or whoever.” His smile slipped for a moment. “You can never be alone with him, Piper.”

I agreed. I wanted to tease him more, to get him to smile again. “Careful, Julian, or I’ll think you might actually like me.”

Julian didn’t smile again. Instead, he stared at me deeply, as if he was looking down into my soul.

Unbidden, I thought of his mysterious past love, Bridget. I wondered if he was still in love with her. I didn’t know how to ask, or if I should. I wasn’t sure why it mattered to me.

Slowly, Julian reached up his hand and cupped my cheek. It was a gentle touch, reverent almost, as he continued to stare at me.

My face burned with embarrassment and confusion, but I didn’t pull away.

Julian was being surprisingly tender. He could be teasing me, or we could be playing still. But I didn’t know.

I felt like Julian was letting me see behind the curtain of him, for just a moment. He looked almost… sad. Lost.

I didn’t know what to do or say to show him the path again.

His gaze dropped down to my lips. My breath caught.

He started to lean in, as if to kiss me.

I startled then, flinching back. He couldn’t mean this. He was either teasing me or he wanted something quick. I wasn’t that kind of girl.

Julian stopped himself at once. The vulnerability in his eyes sealed away behind a door of indifference.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said, standing. He left the room without one more word, leaving me sitting there confused about what just happened and why. What had it meant?

As I returned to my room, I was stopped in a hall by a servant.

“Tonight will be a banquet night, Miss,” he said. “The royal family will be in attendance for dinner.”

“Thank you.”

The servant bowed then hurried away.

My nerves began to prickle under my skin. I wasn’t ready to face Julian again so soon. What was I even to say? How should I act? How would he act?

We would undoubtedly be awkward around each other. At least, I would be.

And what might Nicholas think, if he were to see us behave that way?

Would he know something happened? Had something happened?

I was so confused. If I wanted answers, I would have to be bold and ask Julian the question.

But I wasn’t sure I wanted the answers.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted at all.