Chapter 210

Lila

I walked back from the river numb, my hands still stinging from gripping the riverbank when I’d told Damon the lie.

They’re Kael’s. The words tasted bitter in my mouth, even though Kael was the only father they knew.

By the time I reached the apothecary, my heartbeat had steadied into something dull and mechanical. The twins were at Kael’s house, safe. That was all that mattered.

I lit a single lamp on the counter, its glow soft and unsteady like my stomach. I didn’t expect Damon would follow me, but I knew it was him when the bell above the door rang.

“Lila.” His voice, low but hoarse, struck true in my heart. “We’re not finished.”

I kept my back towards him and stared at the flame flickering in the lamp instead, trying to compose myself. “You shouldn’t be here.”

He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. The sound was soft, but I was surprised not to hear the lock click. “You lied to me,” he said. “You let me mourn you.”

I took a slow breath. “You need to leave.”

“I buried an empty grave for you,” he went on, voice breaking on the rocks of anger and grief. “Do you understand what that did to me? I burned my kingdom looking for you.”

“You burned it long before that,” I whispered.

His footsteps echoed as he crossed the floor. “You built a new life on a lie,” he said, his voice tightening. “You’re letting another male raise our children.”

My spine stiffened, but still, I didn’t turn to look at him. “Kael is their father.”

He slammed his hands down on the counter. The lamp quivered; light rippled over the glass jars lining the shelves. “Stop lying!”

I finally looked up. Damon’s eyes – so like Lucien’s, but feral with heartbreak – met mine. “You think I don’t know my own blood?” he demanded. “You think I can’t feel it every time they’re near? You can lie to everyone else, but you can’t lie to me.”

I gripped the edge of the counter to steady myself. Ruby stirred uneasily in my chest.

“Damon,” I said quietly. “You have no place here. Not in this village and not in my life.”

He laughed, a sound too broken to be sane. “You say that like it’s a choice. Like I could stop the moon from rising.”

The air thickened around us, the faint hum of the bond pressing at the walls I’d buried deep. I could feel him, his grief, fury, and confusion, bleeding through the cracks.

“I’m not yours anymore,” I said.

“You’ll always be mine, just like I’ll always be yours.”

I flinched at the words. “You caged me, Damon,” I said, forcing my voice to stay steady. “You loved me until it was inconvenient, then you locked me away in favor of my half-sister. You don’t get to come here and pretend that never happened.”

He looked at me like I’d struck him. “I was trying to keep you safe and get the cure.”

“No.” I shook my head, blinking hard. “You shut me out and treated me like a weak pet and not a partner. Certainly not a Queen.”

The silence that followed was thick enough to choke on. Damon’s shoulders trembled, his hands clenching at his sides. His fury had nothing left to fuel it as it deflated in on itself.

He took one slow step toward me, then another. “I was wrong,” he said softly, “and I failed you, tell me what I can do to make it right.”

My throat burned. Gods, I wanted to believe him. To let myself fall back into the warmth I still felt radiating from him, the memory of it that haunted me every night. But I had my children to think about now.

“You can leave,” I whispered.

He stilled and the scent of him filled the small space until I could barely think.

“Tell me you don’t still love me, that you don’t feel our bond” he said. “Say it as true, and I’ll go.”

My mouth opened, but nothing came out. Because I did. And because saying it would kill me. So instead, I whispered the only thing I could manage. “You don’t belong here.”

He stood there for another long heartbeat, then nodded once, jaw tight. “You can lie to me all you want, Lila,” he said softly. “But you can’t lie to yourself.”

The bell above the door chimed as he left. I stayed standing until my knees gave out, then sank to the floor behind the counter, pressing a trembling hand to my mouth to keep from crying.

Ruby’s voice was a whisper in the dark: You can’t outrun him forever.

“I’m not running,” I murmured. “I’m protecting them.” But even as I said it, I couldn’t tell if I believed it anymore.

I stood and leaned against the counter, dragging air into lungs that refused to fill. My hands were still trembling. The wood was cracked beneath my palm where he’d struck it.

I should have been angry, furious even. He had no right to come here and tear open wounds I’d spent years sewing shut. But beneath the anger was something far worse.

Relief.

Damon was alive. He’d found me. And somehow, I still loved him for it. Or in spite of it.

Ruby stirred, pacing with frustration. You can’t keep this up.

“I have to,” I whispered. My voice sounded small in the empty room. “If he stays, if I confirm the truth, he’ll never let us go.”

He wouldn’t hurt them. She insisted.

“No,” I said softly. “But he’d take them. And I can’t lose them. I won’t survive that.”

A soft knock came from the back door. I startled, but Kael pushed the door open slightly, eyes sweeping the wrecked counter, the splintered wood, the scattered herbs. “That male was here.”

I nodded once, too tired to hide it.

Kael stepped closer, his voice careful. “Did he hurt you?”

“No.” I forced a breath. “Not like that.”

He hesitated, then leaned against the counter beside me and brushed my temple in a brief kiss meant to offer comfort. “I can smell your hurt, Lila.”

I pressed my palms over my face and nodded, still not willing to talk about it.

Kael’s hand brushed down my arm, tentative but familiar. “We can leave for a while; I know Ronan always has some type of plan. I’ll get the wagon ready at dawn. The twins –”

“No.” My voice came out sharper than I meant. “No running. Not this time.”

He frowned. “Lila…”

“I’ve spent a long time running,” I said, lowering my hands. “I can’t keep living like that and Ronan knows it.”

Kael didn’t answer. His gaze softened, sad with understanding. He’d never pried into my past when I didn’t want to answer. Maybe that’s why I’d learned to trust him enough to stay.

Outside, a gentle rain began to fall, tapping softly against the windows and indicating spring was well on its way. I let my eyes close, breathing it in, letting the sound fill the hollow space in my chest.

He waited to see if I would say more, and when I didn’t’, Kael kissed my temple once more and started for the door. “I put the twins to bed. They passed out already. I’ll see you in the morning.”

When the door closed, I let the mask slip.

The tears came without sound at first, hot and steady, dripping onto the floor. The flame in the lamp guttered and died, plunging the room into soft darkness.

I stayed where I was, half-sitting against the counter, my body shaking with the effort of holding everything in.

Ruby whispered again, gentler this time. You can’t protect them from the truth forever.

I pressed a trembling hand to my chest. “I can try.”

The rain fell harder, a steady rhythm against the roof, drowning out everything else. Somewhere outside, thunder rolled low across the valley, feeling like a bad omen.