Chapter 318

The tears fell freely, unrestrained rivers of despair streaming down my cheeks. Dr. Morrison's office, once a sanctuary, now bore witness to the unraveling of a soul burdened by guilt, self-loathing, and the heavy weight of consequences. I felt as if I had become a tornado of chaos, destroying everything and everyone in my path.

"Why do I always ruin everything?" I sobbed, the words escaping between ragged breaths. "I've screwed over every person in my life."

Dr. Morrison's gaze remained steady, an anchor in the tempest of my emotions. "Evie, what's driving these emotions? What's making you feel this way?"

I wiped away the tears, attempting to compose myself enough to articulate the whirlwind within me. "Timothy wouldn't have gotten sent to jail if he didn't know me. My mother’s life might be in danger because of me, and even my friends aren’t safe. I can't escape the fact that everyone I care about is suffering because they're connected to me."

Dr. Morrison leaned forward, her empathy a comforting presence. "Evie, it's not your fault. You can't control the actions of others. Blaming yourself won't change the circumstances."

"But I'm the common denominator in all of this," I retorted, the anger at myself seeping into my words. "If it weren't for me, they wouldn't be in danger. If it weren't for me, Timothy would be living his dream, not waiting around with the possibility of wasting away in prison."

Dr. Morrison sighed, her expression thoughtful. "Evie, it seems to me that Timothy and your friends are willing to sacrifice their safety for you, not because of you."

I scoffed, the doubt still clinging to my thoughts. "Why? What do they see in me worth sacrificing for? All I've brought into their lives is pain and chaos."

"Evie, sometimes people see something in us that we can't see in ourselves. They see strength, resilience, compassion," she explained, her voice gentle yet firm. "It's not about the chaos you bring. It's about the person you are, the person they believe in."

I shook my head, the weight of her words not fully sinking in. "I can't believe that. I've only caused them pain. I can't escape that reality."

Dr. Morrison leaned forward, her gaze probing yet gentle. "Evie, I can sense there's more to this fear of abandonment than you're letting on. Why do you think your friends and Timothy would abandon you?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, the weight of unspoken truths pressing down on me. The desire to be honest with Dr. Morrison clashed with the fear of exposing the vulnerabilities that festered within.

"I've made some rash decisions," I admitted, my voice guarded. "I've told them a few lies, and now they can't trust me. I'm afraid they'll abandon me because of it, when all I wanted to do was help."

Dr. Morrison studied me for a moment, her expression thoughtful. "Evie, trust is a delicate thing, and we all make mistakes. But I sense there's more to this story. Why did you feel the need to lie to them in the first place?"

I hesitated, the truth lodged in my throat like an unspoken secret. "I can’t say too much. Too personal, but I just wanted to protect them, keep them from getting involved in the mess that is my life. But now, I'm worried I've pushed them away."

Dr. Morrison leaned back, her eyes narrowing with insight. "Evie, it sounds like you have a protective mechanism in place. You tell these lies to help others feel better, even when it's not required."

I sighed, the weight of my own patterns exposed. "I guess so. I want to shield them from danger too. But it's like a never-ending cycle. I lie to protect them, and in the end, I hurt them even more."

"Evie, it's essential to recognize these patterns. Understanding why you do what you do is the first step towards breaking those cycles," Dr. Morrison advised.

I nodded, though a sense of unease lingered beneath the surface. "I know. It's just hard to break free from these habits, especially when they've become second nature."

"Change takes time, Evie. Be patient with yourself," she reassured, her words surpassingly soothing the tension in my shoulders.

“I suppose it’s a start,” I muttered, wiping my eyes.

Dr. Morrison's eyes narrowed, her expression shifting as she changed the subject. "Speaking of unexpected consequences, I had a woman here yesterday claiming to be your mother. She knew you were seeking therapy."

I stilled. “D-Did she mention a name?”

Morrison sat back, crossing her legs with a thoughtful expression on her face. “She said her name was Mia Robins? Her surname wasn’t the same as yours, so I wasn’t sure…”

“My parents divorced.” I murmured as the mention of my mother brought a sudden chill to the air. "Mia Robins…Why would she even know I'm in therapy?"

"That's what puzzled me as well," Dr. Morrison admitted. "She didn't explain. Instead, she shouted at me for trying to treat her 'perfectly well-adjusted daughter.'"

The confusion twisted my features. "Well-adjusted? She's never seen the mess that is me then. Why would she even care about me going here?"

"Sometimes parents have their own way of expressing concern," Dr. Morrison mused, her expression thoughtful. "But it's clear there's more to the story. Mia seemed agitated, almost defensive."

The pieces of the puzzle refused to align. "How would she even know to show up here? And why now?"

"That, I can't answer. But it's clear she knows more about your life than she should if you didn’t tell her," Dr. Morrison replied, her gaze unwavering. "Maybe a friend told her?"

“I’m sure.” I placed a hand over my face and sighed. It was as if the universe was conspiring against me. Mia was becoming more invasive than ever.

"This gave me a good look at what you're dealing with, Evie. It seems like Mia lacks boundaries when it comes to you," she remarked.

Anger surged within me, a fiery torrent threatening to consume my composure. "She doesn't have the right!" I blurted out, unable to contain the rage. "She has no business meddling in my personal life."

Dr. Morrison leaned back in her chair, watching me carefully. "I told her it was fine. I wanted to see for myself what you’ve gone through, and I understand your struggles," she explained calmly, but her words did little to quell the anger building inside me.

"She always crosses boundaries," I seethed. "Acts more like a dismissive friend than a parent. I never felt secure with her, always walking on eggshells. It's like I'm her confidante instead of her daughter."

Dr. Morrison nodded knowingly, her expression softening. "That lack of security, Evie, it affects your relationships with others. Your rash decisions, the fear of losing people – they clearly stem from your upbringing."

I sighed, the weight of the revelation settling over me. It was true; my impulsive actions, the constant fear of abandonment, all traced back to Mia's distorted version of motherhood. How could I trust others when the person who was supposed to guide me through life acted more like a reckless companion?

The session drew to a close, leaving me with a tumult of emotions. As I stepped out into the bustling city streets, I noticed a string of missed calls from Timothy. My heart skipped a beat, torn between answering and continuing my journey of self-reflection. I ignored them.

I needed to confront Mia.