Chapter 148

"Why do you think that?" I asked as I tried to understand the unspoken motives behind his words.

It seemed as if this was coming out of nowhere and I couldn't wrap my head around it. What was he thinking?

I couldn't help but be taken aback by his sudden shift in perspective on our relationship. Originally, it seemed like he wanted this more than me. He was the one who wanted to tell everyone, and I was the one who wasn't quite ready.

It all happened so quickly, and now I wondered if that was what caused this. Did we move too fast and now he's realizing it was a mistake?

Lucas's eyes remained fixed on the road like he was trying hard not to glance at me. His hands firmly gripped the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. "Things have gotten really complicated since then, Shana. Your father's situation, and now there's... more."

More? More what?

His cryptic words left me hanging and I struggled to unravel the mystery of what he meant. What else has happened that I'm unaware of?

"Are you talking about my shift into the White Wolf? I thought we were trying to figure out what it meant. I didn't know it was bothering you so much..."

"No, Shana," Lucas said abruptly, then shook his head. "That's not what I'm referring to. There's just... a lot going on right now."

I was so confused. If it had nothing to do with me, then what could it be? Why did it feel like he was hiding something from me again?

My heart began to ache with an intense insecurity. The possibility of Lucas rejecting me made me nervous as I wondered what this meant. Did it mean that our relationship was over? Was this Lucas subtly trying to break up with me without hurting my feelings?

My head spun.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, my voice trembling.

Lucas hesitated for a moment before replying, "I just don't want all of the commotion to affect you, Shana. I want to protect you from it all. Having everyone breathing down our neck about our relationship doesn't help either."

His blue eyes flickered over to meet mine briefly, revealing a blend of frustration and sadness. This was one of those times I wished I could read exactly what he was thinking.

"So, you're not breaking up with me?" I asked, my voice small.

Lucas laughed in disbelief, but his face turned serious instantly. "Of course not, Shana. I don't want that at all. That's not what I'm saying."

Relief washed over me at his words. So, he didn't want to end things... but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else that he wasn't telling me. Something important.

Something happened to him. I could tell in the way he was trying to avoid my eyes directly. It made me both angry and frustrated.

Hot tears welled up in my eyes, and I tried to blink them away, wanting to appear strong. "Lucas, by now you should know that I know when you aren't telling me the full truth. I know there's something else you aren't saying. Please, please, tell me what's going on. What happened?"

His grip on the steering wheel tightened again as he began to drive through the parking lot. We had finally arrived at Shadow High and I didn't even notice until now. My mind was too lost in other places.

"I don't have any secrets that I'm keeping from you," Lucas said. "I promise it's not about you. I just want to make sure that nothing hurts you more than it already has, and I know how much you hate all of the attention."

He had a point there. I didn't necessarily like all of the attention, but I could handle it. I mean, I've been dealing with unwanted attention all of my life.

Being wolfless automatically makes you a spectacle in other people's eyes. I had to learn to get used to it, so even though the attention with Lucas was overwhelming, it was something I wasn't unfamiliar with.

And Lucas knew this. He didn't have a problem with all the recognition from our peers before.

"The attention doesn't bother me," I said.

"Really? Because you were complaining to me about it last week."

"Well, of course, it's annoying," I tried to clarify. "I hate that people think they can insert themselves into our business, but if it means I can be with you then I don't care what they say or think."

I thought that's what you wanted too, I wanted to say but held myself back.

"I want to be with you too, but... not like this."

He turned the steering wheel, parking in our usual spot. Around us, students got out of their vehicles and began to make their way inside of school.

I felt numb as I stared at the dashboard, trying to make sense of all this. His confession left me feeling vulnerable as I desperately searched for an explanation for all of this. Nothing made any sense. Nothing added up.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I was going to have to pry this out of him, wasn't I?

Disappointment swirled within me as I attempted to find my voice. "Lucas, what's really going on?" My words quivered slightly, revealing the vulnerability I wished to hide.

Lucas turned the ignition of the car off, releasing a loud, heavy sigh. "It's not you, Shana. I promise."

When I didn't say anything, he glanced at me. His eyes appeared sad, but I could see that he was also being sincere. "I just want to protect you from everything that's happening."

Again, I felt the urge to cry, and I hated myself for appearing so emotional in front of him. "Protect me from what, exactly? Lucas, you've always been open about your feelings for me, about us. I thought things were going well. You're the one who wanted this, so what changed?"

His jaw clenched as he looked out the window behind me to think through his thoughts. I could tell he was fighting his conscience on whether he should be truthful or not.

"I met with my father recently, Shana."

Suddenly, it all hit me. It all made sense.

"When? This weekend?"

Lucas nodded. "I... lied about seeing James. I went to see him."

His admission about lying to me hurt, but I pushed that away for now. "Why did you go see him? What did he want?"

Kendrick had always been a source of conflict between Lucas and me, and the idea of him being involved in our lives again was making me break out in a sweat.

What if he found out we were together and wanted us to end our relationship?

"He made me an offer," Lucas said simply.

"What kind of offer?" I pressed, fearing the answer. Nothing was ever good when it came to Kendrick.

Lucas took a deep breath before explaining. "I told him I would return home and work for the family business..."

"For what in exchange?" I asked, not seeing how the dots connected.

Lucas wouldn't just agree to all of that to be in the family business again, would he?