Chapter 147

Lucas didn't get home until late last night and ever since then, he's been awfully distant.

As the two of us got ready for school this morning, I watched as he rushed around the house like he didn't get up early enough this morning.

"Sleep past your alarm clock?" I asked as I sat at the dining table, drinking my orange juice and eating Grandma Jo's delicious blueberry muffins.

Lucas shoveled eggs into his mouth. With a full mouth, he said, "Didn't get any sleep last night."

"Why?" I asked, sipping on my juice.

Lucas shrugged, avoiding my question.

I couldn't help but feel like he was hiding something from me because of how strange he'd been acting.

We had spent the night together at Victoria's parents' luxury hotel over the weekend. It had been the perfect escape from reality and it made me truly appreciate how Lucas had been there for me through everything I was going through.

He showed me that he cared and was willing to make an effort to make me forget about things for a little while.

But ever since that day, I hadn't seen him much. He was off with James the rest of the weekend, from what he told me.

I found it a little annoying that we'd had such a great day and night together, and then he just left me the rest of the weekend to be with his best friend.

I felt like over this past weekend, we had elevated our relationship to a new level. I experienced things with him that I had never done with anyone before. I really opened myself up and allowed myself to be comfortable.

I felt such a change within myself, and part of that change was that I was starting to like Lucas more and more.

Even looking at him now, I could feel the shift in my heart.

As much as I felt that shift, there was also a new strangeness between us that I hadn't felt before.

He wasn't maintaining eye contact with me and didn't seem keen on starting up a conversation.

Maybe he really did have a bad night of sleep and was just feeling irritable. That was totally understandable. I'd had many nights like that where I just woke up in a sour mood.

But Lucas was usually a morning person. He always woke up with a smile on his face, regardless of how he slept which is why I found his mood so odd.

Had I done something on our date night that could've upset him? I racked my brain, thinking back, but couldn't come up with anything.

It couldn't have been anything that I'd done.

Or... what if he was feeling the same way as me and just didn't know how to vocalize his feelings? Or worse, what if he wasn't feeling the same way?

The possibility of that made my heart ache.

I tried to telepathically communicate my feelings to him.

Couldn't he tell how much I liked him? Couldn't he see the way that I was truly starting to feel for him? I felt like I was falling quickly, and I didn't know how to slow myself down.

I chugged the rest of my orange juice and went to discard of my dirty dishes.

"I'm going to head to the car," I said, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. "Are you ready?"

Again, Lucas didn't answer me but offered a subtle head nod.

I turned on my heel, trying to calm my emotions.

As the two of us settled into the car, I couldn't stop myself from checking on Lucas out of the corner of my eye, observing him. His somber energy was palpable, and it felt so off, so different.

Was I imagining things, or was something going on? It was like he was lost in his own thoughts.

I also noticed that he wasn't as affectionate as he used to be. Normally, he'd be stealing glances my way or placing his large hand on my thigh.

But as he drove, he kept his distance from me as if there was a barrier between us.

I couldn't help but wonder if the recent revelations about me had distanced us somehow. Maybe it was all becoming too much for Lucas to handle.

The revelation of who I truly was, the White Wolf, and most recently, the horrible burden of my father's gambling debt that had fallen onto my shoulders.

I could understand if he was pulling away because of the mess that was my life. Even I was still reeling from the shock and change that had occurred.

It had definitely complicated things in my life. I would be silly to think that it wouldn't affect my relationship with Lucas as well. I knew he was there for me, but I didn't know how he truly felt about it all.

Was he regretting sticking by my side? Did he want to find a way out?

Possibilities kept pouring into my head, making me question everything.

And as we drove towards Shadow High, the silence between us only grew more. I began to feel a sense of unease gnawing at me, urging me to say or do something.

Just as I opened my mouth to cut through some of the tension, Lucas also decided to speak.

His voice carried a weight to it that I hadn't heard before. "Shana, I've been thinking..."

At the same time, I said, "Can I turn the radio on?"

The two of us were silent as I processed what he'd just said.

"Shana, I've been thinking..."

"Thinking?" I asked, nerves taking over my entire body. A sentence like that never ended well. "What have you been thinking about?"

Lucas gulped, but didn't make eye contact with me, "I've been thinking that maybe we should keep our relationship more private."

I felt my palms begin to sweat as I was taken aback by his words.

He wanted to make our relationship more private... Why? What did I miss?

It was Lucas who had urged us into this relationship in the first place. He insisted that he wanted everyone to know that we were together. He had been thrilled, ecstatic even, to share the news with everyone.

And now...

And now he wanted to slow things down?

"Don't you think it's a little too late for that?" I said, my mind racing, trying to make sense of his sudden change of heart. "The whole school already knows."

"I think we should just... tone things down a bit," Lucas explained, not giving me much to work with besides that.

"But why?" I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Lucas hesitated, his eyes locked on the road ahead of us.

I wanted to scream at him for avoiding my eyes.

"It's just... things have become a bit complicated lately," he said. "Your shift and now the situation with your father's situation... I don't want it to affect you more than it already has."

His words hung heavily in the air, and I tried to make sense of the rejection that threatened to consume me.

Was he saying that he didn't want to be with me anymore because of the chaos surrounding my life?

Was this a sign of him slowly pulling away from me?