Chapter 121

Grandma Jo excused herself to go to bed, claiming that she felt like she needed to lie down.

I wanted to share those same feelings with her. I desperately needed to lie down and close my eyes to take a break from reality.

But I was afraid I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing what I did now.

Also, Lucas had asked to speak with me in his bedroom privately. I supposed that whatever he wanted to say, Grandma Jo didn't need to hear.

I settled down on Lucas's soft bed as he closed the door behind him.

His eyes bore into mine, a mixture of awe, confusion, and disbelief.

It was as if he still couldn't fully fathom the reality of what had just transpired in the past hour.

To be honest, I couldn't blame him— I felt like a stranger in my own skin.

Outwardly, I was trying to appear as if everything was fine and normal. But on the inside, it felt as if something foreign had fundamentally altered the very essence of my biology.

I didn't even feel like myself anymore.

Lucas kept staring at me, his gaze unwavering, and I could sense his thoughts racing. I wanted to crawl into his brain and read his thoughts.

Did he find me an even bigger freak now? Oh God, I could only imagine all of the horrible things people would say about me if they found out I was the white wolf.

From wolfless to... the white wolf.

What was my life? How was any of this real? How was any of this happening?

Lucas continued to stare at me, his mind trying to piece together the inexplicable puzzle that was now my existence.

"Shana," he finally began, his voice laced with uncertainty, "this is... it's unbelievable. I can't believe what I just saw. You shifted into a white wolf, and it defies everything I— No, everything we thought we knew about werewolves."

It appears as though Lucas was hiding his true genuine surprise from Grandma Jo. Maybe he was trying to appear as level-headed and calm.

Right now, he looked as if another wave of complete cluelessness and perplexity hit him. And I couldn't even blame him.

I nodded slowly, still coming to terms with the enormity of the revelation. "I know, Lucas. I can't believe any of this either... I've been wolfless my entire life. I never thought I'd actually shift, let alone into something like that."

Lucas took a step closer to me. Now, he stood in front of me, staring down at me as I sat on the edge of his bed. His expression was a mixture of concern and determination.

"I know we agreed on this with Grandma Jo, but we have to be very careful. This puts us in a dangerous situation, one that I have no control over, and I don't know exactly what would happen if others were to find out."

"I know that Lucas." I blinked up at him. "I don't want anyone to know anything. Not until we can figure out what it means or what I can do to control it."

He nodded and appreciation flashed before his eyes. "Good. We need to understand what's going on. We still don't know what your symptoms meant which is another concern..."

"Do you think I just shifted because of the blood moon?" I asked, trying to make sense of all of this. "You said that my eyes were glowing red."

"Yes," he said. "It was an... unnatural color. I didn't want to say this to you before, but I've noticed your eyes change color before."

"You did?" I asked, tilting my head to the side as I pondered the truth of his words. "When?"

"Once, the day Jessica locked you in the training room..."

I shuddered as my mind took me back to that day. I remember the pain that I felt. It didn't compare to the pain I felt tonight, but I was a fraction of it.

"The other time, it was brief. It was the last time you saw your father," Lucas continued.

Another memory that wasn't as pleasant. I rolled my lips back and forth as I remembered that day. I don't remember feeling any strange sensations with my eyes, though.

I only remember feeling angry and fearful that my father would harm me.

"Why do you think that happened?" I asked Lucas in a low whisper.

He shrugged as he reached a handout to hold my face in his hand. "I'm not sure. I think your wolf has always been inside of you and it was slowly starting to show itself in little ways."

I thought he might be right.

Lucas carefully stroked my jaw as he looked at me tenderly. "There are people out there who would do anything to get their hands on a white wolf. Now, I feel a greater need to protect you. I'd be damned if I let anything happen to you."

"That won't happen," I assured him.

The thought of the world discovering my newfound abilities was both thrilling and terrifying. "No one will know. We'll keep this a secret until we have some answers. And like I said, I don't even know how to control this new side of me yet."

Lucas's eyes softened as he moved his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't want you to feel like you're not alone in this. I think we should talk to someone who might have some insight, someone who knows more about our history and legends."

I furrowed my brows, trying to remember everything I had ever heard about the white wolf.

It had been so long since I'd heard the legend, and my memory was a bit dusty. However, someone did come to mind.

"You mean the professor, right? I remember hearing that story about the boy who turned into a monster of some sort. Was he the only one? What if he turned into the white wolf? And is this something that's normal for wolfless?"

Lucas nodded, his expression grave. "Yes, the professor. He might be our best chance at finding some answers. As for the story of the boy, I don't know, Shana. It's possible that there could be more than one white wolf, but we'll have to find out."

I thought of the boy, the panic and fear he must've felt at shifting without having anyone there to help or defend him.

The story had always remained in my thoughts, shrouded by mystery, just like the legend of the white wolf itself.

"The professor tried to help the boy, right?" I asked. “The boy had to learn to control his wolf, too. Maybe the professor can help me with that."

Lucas smiled faintly, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Exactly. Let's reach out to him and see what he has to say. But remember, Shana, we need to be cautious and keep this a secret for now. Your safety comes first."

I nodded in agreement, feeling the weight of the secret pressing upon us. We were preparing to seek answers to questions that had been unknown to our kind for generations.

"Of course." I nodded. "I just want some answers."