Chapter 93

MAEVE POV

I felt warm.

Uncharacteristically warm. It was nothing like the boiling heat of a fever, but rather the warmth of a new day, shining down on me.

My body creaked and groaned like worn wood as I rolled flat onto my back. I didn’t recall going to sleep with such discomfort…

I must’ve slept in an odd position.

I rubbed my eyes, still bleary and clouded with thick layers of sleep. When I opened my eyes this time, wincing with the shining of the bright sun, I lifted a hand to block the light. And, slowly, everything came into focus.

I was, indeed, no longer in my bedroom, but a small, private grassy field, beautifully decorated with well-groomed flowers and shapely shrubbery. And there, just behind the flora, was an all too familiar greystone mansion.

I was in the gardens behind our home.

When did I get here?

This couldn’t have been one of those dreams. The few times I’d experienced them were distinct, down to the ‘t.’ Without fail, I would always awaken in that field of purple wildflowers, soaking in their sweet scent… and I would always find myself in the company of—it.

That voice.

Omniscient and terrifying and, yet, brimming with a sort of warmth and tenderness that I’d never felt from anyone else. Everything and nothing like Xaden all at once.

I waited, almost painstakingly, for the voice to show up, to make its presence known once again to me. To say something... anything... to me, omens or kind thoughts, so long as I could relish in the sweet sound of it wrapping around me like a distant memory.

It never came.

Not a word, nor a whisper, or even a breath to show that I was not alone here, in this dreamlike world that we had come to share.

What’s going on…? I thought to myself, rolling my hand over my stomach—

—only to instead land on soft, flat flesh. A faint yet familiar echo of the body I used to have, though considerably more fed than before… and very much void of the growing baby that resided there.

My heart dropped with a sickening thud, searching for any hint of the bump I used to have. But it wasn’t there.

Where… where’s my baby?

This was a dream. It had to be, though the thought did nothing to alleviate my panic.

I needed to find someone. Anyone.

I hurried to my feet, recovering quickly when I almost stumbled in the grass, and ran to the mansion's back door. The grass felt wonderful beneath my bare feet, fresh and cool despite the sun's warmth, and the breeze felt like heaven against my skin, but I couldn’t stop.

I had just reached the door, breathless and desperate, my hand just inches away from the handle, when the door suddenly swung open.

And there he was.

Xaden, in all his beautiful, magnificent glory, strode out of the door, looking every bit as regal and confident as ever.

And the moment his eyes landed on me, brilliant and green like the world around us, any fears or confusion I had vanished from my system.

“It’s you…” I breathed.

“There’s my Luna.” The dashing grin he wore shined bright like the sun that beamed down on us through the canopy of trees. “We were just on our way to find you.”

We…?

And that was when I realized he was not alone.

Any words I wanted to say stalled in my throat, as well as any chance for breathing I might have had, as my gaze honed in on something huddled against his chest… a vision I hadn’t expected to see. Cradled securely against his warm, broad chest, was a small bundle of innocent joy babbling in the safety of my mate’s arms.

“My baby…” I whispered, the words slipping past my lips before I could comprehend them.

All I knew, and all I could see was him. My gaze greedily took in every little detail I could find. If there was any part of him that looked like me, or if he was all Xaden.

But… I saw nothing. Just blurred outlines of his features. I didn’t know if he had Xaden’s eyes or mine, if he had a button nose, or if he had his father’s charming smile.

Still, in the end, none of that mattered right now.

This was my little boy. I could feel it deep in my soul, even without seeing his face. He was here—in my dream.

Xaden bounced the child in his arms, gently and with adoring eyes, covering the small expanse of his back with just one hand. “He had enough of his bed and wanted to explore the gardens… I didn’t have the heart to deny him.”

At that, I couldn’t stop the grin that stretched my face. “Wrapped around his little finger, are you?”

“Tight like a coil.” He didn’t even try to deny it.

Not that I could either. One glance and my heart was his.

I felt Xaden’s gaze wash over me. “Here—” he murmured, adjusting our wriggling baby in his arms, “he wants you.”

My eyes widened, flitting between him and our son. Anxiety prickled at me.

I’d never held a baby before. Every chance I might’ve had in the past was quickly thwarted by Father and Victoria—that I would befoul the baby with my impurity, or drop the baby because of how weak I was. Although, I now suspected it was to kill off any hopes of marrying out and leaving the family.

I was nervous… but my desire to hold him close was stronger than any fears I had.

Xaden expertly guided me as he put our child in my open arms, telling me where to put my hands and where he needed the most support.

He was lighter than I’d expected. Couldn’t have been more than ten… twelve pounds. A comfortable sort of weight that was both addicting and dangerous… because that meant I would only have that much more trouble letting him go.

He was small. He was a figment of my imagination.

But he felt like home. He smelled like love.

And he was mine.

“I wish you could tell me your name,” I whispered against his soft tufts of hair, forgetting where I was… and who I was with.

Xaden tutted, wearing a look of mock disapproval.

And I blanched, realizing how insane I must’ve come across, even if this was only a dream.

“Did you hear that?” he teasingly asked our cooing son, who was apparently happy for even the slightest bit of attention. “Your mama is a little out of it today.”

My mouth opened to weakly protest. “I… I didn’t…”

It was ridiculous—I felt like the worst mother alive because I couldn’t envision my own baby’s face… his own name. But this was only a dream. Neither a face nor a name would ever be able to come to mind because they didn’t exist, nor was there even a tangible baby in my arms to begin with, but… how could I explain that here?

How could I possibly explain to the Xaden in my dream, more bliss-soaked and euphoric than I’d ever seen him before, that none of this was real?

Real or not, I couldn’t bear to break his heart.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it,” he murmured, suddenly beside me, pressing a sweet kiss on my cheek. “You must still be drowsy from your nap.”

“Y-Yes,” I answered slowly, “that must be it.”

“I suppose that’s my fault. After all, I’m the reason you stayed up so late.”

I blushed, tearing my gaze away as I was suddenly flooded with flashes from last night. At least that part still rang true even in this dream world.

“I’ll never forget it,” he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. “The night I gave you your ring.”

My brow creased, puzzled. My ring?

Carefully adjusting the baby in my arms, I held my left hand out where, sure enough, the only ring on my finger was the one Xaden gifted me last night.

“But… that can’t be right…” I said. “You gave me this ring last—I mean, when I was only a month pregnant.”

Xaden was quiet for a long, drawn-out moment, apparently lost in thought. His gaze swept over me, taking in every detail he could amid the glowing gardens around us, before flickering over to the blurred face of our son. And then, he chuckled softly.

“Strange,” he mused, warmth in his voice and light in his eyes. “It feels like only yesterday.”

That’s because it was, I wanted to say, but I let it be.

The baby in my arms began to babble and grunt again, patting his small hands against my chest, once again capturing my full attention. I could feel his gaze on me, even when all I could see were fuzzy features, and I thrived under it. His hands then lifted to my neck… stretching out his little fingers to touch my chin but not quite long enough to reach.

My heart melted. I lowered my face to allow him easier access, letting him gently pat his way around as he inspected me.

I smiled, searching the blank surface of his face for something… anything, even if my efforts were for naught. “That’s right…” I breathed, not wanting to startle him. “I’m yours.”

And then I remembered—again—that we were not alone.

“I’m sorry,” I said sheepishly. “I hijacked your walk.” I began to turn my gaze to Xaden, my long black hair swinging loosely over my shoulder as I continued to hold my baby tight in my arms. “Where did you…?”

I trailed off, the words dying in my throat once I finally realized why he had been so quiet.

There, mere inches away from where I stood with my arms and heart full, stood Xaden… and he was just… watching us. Like we were the most mesmerizing sight he’d ever seen. There was a deep serenity that calmed his normally intense features.

I’d never seen him look like this before.

I let out a nervous giggle. “Why are you staring?”

Xaden’s body heaved with a slow, helpless shrug, not once tearing away from me. “You two are… everything I never knew I needed,” he said simply.

I blushed, finding myself, not for the first time, flustered by him just being… him. How could I possibly respond to such a sentiment?

All of a sudden, I felt a bright warmth envelop me in its embrace. Close and persistent, but not at all suffocating. It was like being caressed by a soft blanket… the kind that reminded one of being held by—

—oh. This wasn’t just a stray sunbeam.

It felt wonderful and familiar. That same sort of comfort that I got when listening to that voice from my dreams.

I let out a breath, my gaze washing over the skies above me, the nature that surrounded me. Even if I couldn’t hear the voice, it was still here, I still felt its presence like a guardian angel.

It was here.

Xaden was here.

My baby was here.

And everything felt… perfect.

We spent our day not barred behind the privacy and security of walls and doors, afraid to be seen together, but in the limitless freedom of our garden, where we could just be ourselves. There were no titles or responsibilities here to separate us. No looming fear of being caught by prying eyes with cruel intentions.

We were not held hostage by our secrets.

We were just us… savoring the comfort we found and created with each other, and soaking in the moments we had with our son, living and breathing and real in this wonderful dream world.

I wanted to stay here forever. But if this was, in fact, just a dream, then I could only wish to be so lucky.

If this was truly what awaited me in the future…

I would count the days until it became my reality.