Chapter 63

Zara

That night, I was woken by an unusual sound at my door. Something was scratching at the wood, but far too high for an animal to reach. I crawled out of bed and approached the door slowly and carefully.

The scratching continued as I reached the door and pressed my ear to the wood to hear through it. There was no other sound out in the hall, only that soft, eerie sound.

I took a deep breath, braced myself, and opened the door.

Kieran stood there, alone in the darkness with his eyes gleaming gold. His wolf was in full control, even though we were nowhere near the full moon. His wolf bond was shattering more quickly than I’d realized.

Against all good sense and reason, I took Keiran’s hand and led him into my room. He followed me tamely, golden eyes locked onto my face the entire time. The intensity of that stare unnerved me, but I stayed calm. If I acted afraid, the wolf might decide I was prey, and that wouldn’t end well for either one of us.

I drew Kieran over to my bed. I had been able to calm Lucian’s wolf in a similar situation. I hoped the same strategy would work for Kieran.

Where Lucian’s wolf had been eager and forceful, Kieran’s seemed hesitant. He followed me readily enough, but didn’t climb into bed even when I patted the mattress.

“Kieran, what do you need?” I asked, hoping my voice would wake the man hidden beneath the wolf.

He didn’t respond at first. He just continued to watch me for several heartbeats.

Then, Kieran reached into his pocket, and drew something out. He held his hand out to me. I put my hand under his, and he dropped his prize into it.

I looked down, and saw that I was holding the collar we’d ordered. I hadn’t realized it had arrived.

“You want to wear this?” I asked.

Kieran nodded slowly.

“All right, then,” I said. An odd idea occurred to me, and I decided it was worth a try. Kieran wasn’t just here for help trying on his new jewelry. He wanted something else, something his normal self couldn’t or wouldn’t ask for.

“Kneel for me,” I ordered.

Kieran sank to the floor. His movement was smooth and graceful, and the play of muscles as he moved distracted me for a moment. It didn’t help that Kieran had arrived in his usual sleeping state, utterly naked.

So then I had a naked man kneeling at my feet. And I had a pretty good idea what he wanted from me, but could I provide it?

I leaned forward and wrapped the collar around his throat. It fit flush against his skin, the supple leather shifting as he breathed and swallowed. I clipped it closed, and took a single step back.

Kieran shifted his weight as though he intended to crawl forward.

“No, stay there,” I ordered, and Kieran froze in place.

I took a deep breath, and sat down on my bed. Okay. Kieran, or Kieran’s wolf, wanted someone to hold his leash. He wanted someone else in control. And he’d come to me. Okay, I could do this.

“Come here,” I ordered, pointing to the floor next to my foot.

I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when Kieran didn’t stand, but instead crawled across the distance between us. And how was the simple act of moving on all four so damn sexy?

Kieran knelt at my feet. I tapped my thigh, and he made a happy little noise and rested his head against my leg.

I threaded my fingers through his hair and gently petted his head. Kieran’s eyes closed and his whole body relaxed.

“Hm. You just want someone to take care of you, huh?” I cooed.

Kieran whined softly.

“Yeah, you do.” And because I was feeling just a little bit puckish, I added, “Aren’t you a good pup?”

Kieran’s wolf enjoyed being called a good pup. He pressed against my leg and went limp, a happy puddle of naked man. I kept petting his hair and speaking softly, the gentle repetition lulling him nearly to sleep.

“I wish I knew how to help you both,” I said, “I wish you could tell me, but you can’t, can you?”

I was speaking as much to his wolf as to Kieran, but of course the wolf had nothing to say. He only looked up at me with adoration and trust. He was just happy to be with me, his fated mate.

I moved my hands to the back of Kieran’s neck and gently massaged the muscles there. He leaned into the touch, eyes drifting shut. His skin was soft and warm under my touch.

My hand brushed the collar, and I found myself tracing the blue knotwork. It really did look good on him. I wondered why his wolf had brought it to me when Kieran’s waking self hadn’t bothered to do so. I also wondered why I found the sight of it around his neck so very alluring.

Was this why he’d wanted to see me in a collar? Did he feel the same warmth and fondness that I felt now? Or was the humiliation I felt the point? There was so much about Kieran I just didn’t understand.

Kieran eventually began to drift off under my touch. I invited him up to my bed, but he chose to curl up on the floor instead. I watched him for a long time, until sleep claimed me.

When I woke up, Kieran was gone. I might have thought the previous night was a dream, but he’d left evidence in the form of the collar and a note. They rested on my nightstand.

The note read,

“Zara,

Thank you for caring for me last night. I hope my wolf did not make you too uncomfortable or cost you too much sleep. Please, take care of this until my next opportunity to wear it.

Also, kindly don’t mention this incident to my brother. He would only worry.

Thanks,

Kieran.”

I tucked the note away in my desk. I could understand why Kieran wouldn’t want me to tell his brother about this. Kieran was an Alpha, just like Lucian. They weren’t supposed to enjoy wearing a collar and kneeling at someone’s feet. But Kieran, or his wolf anyway, definitely enjoyed it last night.

I thought about the look of peace on Kieran’s face the moment I snapped the collar shut. It didn’t feel like that for me. The dog collar was heavy on my throat. I felt it pressing against my skin every moment I wore it.

Yet Kieran had suggested in his note that he’d like to wear it again. Did he mean the next time his wolf took control? Or did he want to wear it while he was himself?

What would it be like to snap that collar around his neck while his eyes were blue to match the knotwork? While a powerful Alpha looked at me out of those eyes, and that same Alpha knelt at my feet? What might it feel like to have that kind of control over the real Kieran?

I tucked the collar away neatly in the drawer of my nightstand. While I was getting ready for the day, I saw the choker Kieran had insisted on buying. It really did have a pretty jewel.

I held it up to my throat and looked in the mirror. It didn’t look as harsh against my skin as the dog collar had.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I put the choker on, and stepped out to begin my day.