Chapter 60

Zara

I went to visit Kieran the next day. I wanted to apologize for not helping him with the voices. I had the ability to soothe his wolf, and I’d let Lucian send me to my room.

“Zara,” Kieran opened the door seconds after I knocked. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” I said. “I just wanted to check on you.”

“Check on me? Why would you want to do that?” Kieran asked with a smirk.

“I heard you last night,” I said.

“Oh.” Kieran shook his head. “Of course you did. I was loud, wasn’t I? Sorry I interrupted your beauty sleep.”

“I wasn’t asleep,” I admitted. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m as okay as I ever am,” Kieran said with a shrug. He looked up and down the hallway. “This is awkward, standing out in the hall like this. Come on inside, have breakfast with me.”

“Okay,” I agreed. I wasn’t certain whether the twins wanted me to continue only eating food they brought me or not. I’d worry about it later.

Kieran called down to the kitchen and a tray full of breakfast foods appeared some minutes later. I was startled to see a plate of waffles.

“I liked these,” Kieran said, pointing to the waffles. “And it turns out we had a waffle iron in the kitchen. I asked the cook, and she found a recipe someplace.”

“We had a waffle iron?” I asked, honestly surprised.

Kieran shrugged. “Apparently? I have no idea why. Wolves don’t eat waffles. Well, we didn’t. I think we should start.”

I ate one of the waffles and nodded. “Yeah, this is definitely a good thing from the human side.”

“There seem to be a few things from the other side of the veil that are worthwhile,” Keiran said.

I looked up at him, startled, and he winked. Okay, he was flirting with me. That was weird. He’d stopped showing that kind of interest in me when I stopped fighting him. Then, he’d only shown interest when he needed me to soothe his wolf.

“I guess so,” I muttered after the silence grew uncomfortable.

“So,” Kieran said, “do you want to pick out my collar now?”

“Huh?” I yelped.

“I promised, didn’t I?” Kieran said. “I said that if you tried on the necklace, I’d let you pick out a collar and I would wear it.” He paused. “I never said how long I’d wear it, but we can make a proper bargain of it later, right?”

“I thought you were joking,” I said. “You don’t really have to.”

“Nope,” Kieran said. “I made a promise. I am an Alpha, I keep my word.”

“Okay, then, where do we get a collar?” I asked.

Kieran said, “I really did get yours from my dog. But I know there are places you can order things like that. Online, I think.”

“You mean from the human side?” I asked.

“Yeah, why not? We get things delivered from the human side all the time.”

“Things like food, and phones, and my computer,” I said. “Not… collars.”

“Why not?” Kieran asked.

“Isn’t it a bit frivolous?” I asked.

“Maybe,” Kieran said. “But it might be fun.”

“All right, then,” I pulled out my phone. “Let’s find you a collar.”

We found a few options after a short search. Some of the sites were certainly interesting. I had no idea that so many people enjoyed wearing collars.

“Which one do you like?” I asked, showing Kieran a page full of collars, some in sets with wrist cuffs and other accessories.

“Nope, you get to pick. I’m curious about your… tastes,” Kieran said, leaning over my shoulder to study the page.

I scrolled through the listing. There was a collar with spikes, and a plain black band like the one he’d made me wear. There were collars in every color. Some were leather, others cloth like my ribbon necklace, and others were made of metal. That seemed a little extreme to me.

“That one,” I said, when I spotted one particular collar.

“Why that one?” Kieran asked.

The collar in question was simple, in that it was a thin black leather band. But it wasn’t plain. There was a slender, metallic blue cord woven around the collar in a series of intricate knots.

“I’m not sure, it just reminds me of you,” I said.

“Then let’s get it,” Kieran said.

“Okay then,” I handed him my phone so he could make the order. “Just know that I still think this is a little odd.”

Kieran shrugged. “It’s fine. It’s just some fun, right? Between you and me.” He paused. “Although, I did make you wear the other collar in front of the whole damn pack, didn’t I?”

“You did.” The memory still stung. I remembered how some of them stared, visibly amused at seeing me put in my place. I remembered how others would look anywhere but at me, embarrassed by the sight of me yet still unwilling to even speak up in my defense.

“I was trying…” Kieran trailed off. “Well, you know what we were trying to do, huh?”

“You wanted me to be a ‘good pup,” I said, “Submissive and obedient, right?”

“Well. Yes,” Kieran admitted.

“And is that not what you want now?” I asked.

“I…” Kieran shrugged. “It doesn’t feel quite as important now, for some reason.” He frowned and crossed his arms. “I still want your respect. I am still your Alpha, and so is Lucian. But…” He shrugged. “I don’t know. Since I’ve gotten closer to you, really gotten to know you, I’m not sure I want to change you.”

“Respect, huh?” I thought about it. “I guess I was disrespectful, back when we first met. But try to see things from my point of view. You literally killed my father, then summoned me to his funeral to announce I had to present myself for consideration as your mate! How did you think I’d react?”

“I mean,” Kieran shrugged, “that’s just how things are done. Your sister didn’t seem to mind that much. Even your step-mother was more worried about making sure her daughter had a fair chance at being our mate than in mourning her mate.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not like them,” I said.

“No, you’re really not,” Kieran said. “You’re not like anyone I’ve met before. I’m honestly not sure what to think about you. You confound me.”

“Well that’s fair then,” I told him, “because you and your brother absolutely baffle me.”

“Hey, we have something in common,” Kieran joked.

“Yeah, I guess we do.” I paused. “I got a call, yesterday. That’s why I wasn’t sleeping when you, um. When you had your nightmare.”

“Yeah? A call from who?” Kieran asked.

“Elliot,” I answered.

“He found something already?” Kieran asked.

“No. Well, yes, but not about my mother. He found out that there is a missing person’s case on me. Someone was looking for me, as a baby.”

“Oh. Wow,” Kieran said. “Does he know who?”

“Not yet. He wanted to know if I wanted him to pursue this lead, or stick with looking for my mother, and I’m honestly not sure what to tell him.”

“Do you want my advice?” Kieran asked.

“I guess I do,” I said. I hadn’t meant to mention Elliot’s call to either brother, it just sort of slipped out.

“Have him look into it,” Kieran said. “You don’t have to contact whoever it is, or let them know where you are, or anything. But you should find out. Knowledge is always better than wondering what if.”

“Even when you learn something awful?” I asked.

“Even then. It’s the questions that eat away at you. Trust me, I know.”

The weird thing was, I was beginning to trust him. When had that happened?