Chapter 47

Zara

I woke up in a familiar bed, but not mine. I groaned as I recognized the scent all around me. Kieran. I was in his bed, after we'd been together in the woods.

I looked around, but Kieran was nowhere to be seen. The pillow next to me was cold. If we’d slept together, there was no sign of it.

What had happened? All I remembered was running with the Alphas, and then tumbling with them in a clearing. I remembered a kiss.

Oh, no. I’d kissed them both. Had they recognized the signs? Did they know I was their fated mate now? They had to. How could I have been so careless? What was I thinking?

I prodded at my wolf. She grumbled and refused to give me any of her memories of the night before.

What if we’d bonded? No, I’d remember that. I’d feel it. You couldn’t be bonded and not know it!

The door opened, and Kieran stepped inside with a tray of food. He kicked the door closed behind him and brought the tray over to me. My mouth watered at the smell of the omelet and fresh fruit.

“Breakfast in bed?” I asked, confused. Why was he being nice to me? Had they given up on breaking me, and decided to try bribery instead?

“You need rest,” Kieran informed me.

“I’m fine,” I protested, picking up a fork. I was starving.

“You collapsed in the woods,” Kieran informed me. “Do you remember?”

I shook my head slowly. I remembered running. Had I tried to run from them, and collapsed when they caught me?

“Tell me what you do remember,” Kieran ordered.

My hand strayed to my neck. I remembered wearing a dog collar for weeks on end, until it felt strange not to have it anymore.

“It was the full moon. I was running.”

“With us, yes,” Kieran said. “You were going to soothe our wolves. We ran together.”

“I can’t shift,” I protested.

“We all stayed on two legs. It was fine. It was good. I’d like to run with you like that again, actually,” Kieran said with a smile that made him look painfully young.

“Then what happened?” I asked.

“You don’t remember anything else? Just running?” Kieran asked.

“No.” I nibbled on a slice of apple like it could give me courage. “Tell me.”

“I’m not sure I should,” Kieran hesitated.

“If something happened to me, I should know about it,” I said. “Tell me.”

Kieran took a deep breath. “Okay. We ran together, you, me, and Lucian. We found a clearing, and we were kissing, touching, all that. I think we wanted more? It’s fuzzy for us, too. Our wolves were in charge. But then you screamed, like someone was tearing out your heart, and you collapsed.”

“It happened again?” I whispered.

“Yeah, and this time was worse,” Kieran said. “At least, Lucian said it seemed worse.”

“I don’t even remember,” I said. “I remembered the last time.”

“The healer said you might not. The shock and pain of whatever happened, your mind blocks it out to protect you.”

“Oh. But what happened? What do the healers think it was?” I asked.

“They’re not certain.” Kieran shifted from foot to foot and scratched his hair. “The first time, they said it could be shock, but this healer said there was no signs of classic shock, not this time. And that the first time didn’t match either. And it wasn’t bond shock, either.”

“It’s not the bond to Adrian?” I asked.

The incomplete bond had been causing me pain for months, ever since Adrian rejected me. If it wasn’t that, then what was wrong with me?

“Probably not, no,” Kieran said. “The healer said it was almost like a shift gone wrong.”

“That’s impossible, I can’t shift,” I said.

Kieran nodded and reached out to pat my hand.

“I’m sure they’ll figure it out,” he said. “For now, you need to rest, and eat. You need to regain your strength.”

“Right,” I said. Then. “Why am I in your bed? If we weren’t… together?”

“Oh. I brought you back from the healers’ house, and I wanted to keep an eye on you, but standing around in your room while you slept felt creepy. So I brought you here.” Kieran shrugged.

“Because it’s not creepy if I’m in your bed,” I said.

Kieran grinned. “I like to watch women sleep in my bed.”

“I bet you do,” I grumbled.

I ate the rest of my breakfast, and tried to remember anything from the night before. At least Kieran didn’t remember us kissing, or at least he hadn’t figured out we were fated mates. I’m pretty sure he would say something if he had.

But what about Lucian? What did he remember?

“Where’s Lucian?” I asked. “Did he go back out Rogue hunting?”

“Kind of,” Kieran said. “He’s gone to capture that Rogue you used to be bonded to.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

“It’s possible he’s doing something to your bond,” Kieran said. “Lucian wants him here, so we can stop him if he tries to hurt you.”

“No, he couldn’t be,” I said. “We never even bonded. He rejected me.”

“It’s possible he didn’t fully sever the bond on his end,” Kieran said.

“But he was bonded to my sister,” I argued.

“They were together, but they might not have fully bonded, or they faked it for some reason,” Kieran said.

“Why would they do that?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Kieran admitted. “But we’re going to find out.”

He reached out, and took my hand in his. “Don’t worry, Zara, we’re going to figure this thing out.”

I tugged my hand free. “Right. I’m useless to you if I can’t soothe your wolves.”

“No, that’s not…” Kieran trailed off.

“You’re telling me Lucian would be out hunting some random Rogue wolf if he didn’t need me?” I asked.

“Well, maybe not but… I’m really worried about you, Zara. The way you screamed…” he shuddered. “I’m glad you don’t remember.”

I wasn’t glad. I wanted to know what was happening to me, and why. I hated having a hole in my memory.

“So what happens now?” I asked.

“You rest for today, and tomorrow too, if you’re still feeling shaky,” Kieran said. “I can carry you to your bed if you’d rather be there.”

“I can walk,” I protested, although I hadn’t tried to stand up yet. I didn’t feel sick or hurt. I could walk.

“I’d rather carry you,” Kieran said, and there was none of the teasing lust I was used to in his voice. He sounded deadly serious. “Anyway, after that, you go back to light duty. I want you to stay close to me, or Lucian when he gets back.”

“So I’m a prisoner, just not in the tower,” I said.

“No. If you want to go someplace, just ask.”

“What if I want to be alone?” I asked.

“Then ask,” Kieran said. He paused. “That’s a human thing, right? Privacy? I’ve read about it. Sounds lonely.”

I shrugged. “Humans are different. So I ask and what, you leave me alone?”

“Yeah, you can be alone in your room. Or the garden.”

Well, it was better than nothing. It sounded like Kieran, at least, was trying to be reasonable.

“Okay,” I said. “I’d like to go to my room now, please.”

“Sure. I put your books back in there. Would you like to be alone to read?” Kieran asked.

I nodded slowly. I was honestly shocked when Kieran carried me gently tucked against his chest. He placed me on my bed, checked my forehead like he thought I had a fever or something, and then passed me a book from my now full shelf.

Then, he left me alone with the door closed. No taunting about being a good pup. No threats. Nothing.

Why was he being so nice? What game was he playing now?