Chapter 46

Kieran

I staggered back as Lucian cradled Zara in his arms. What was happening? What had we done?

All I remembered was running, and then Zara’s scent, warm and aroused. I remembered her touch and the sound of her voice, moaning in pleasure, and then suddenly screaming in pain.

“Lucian? What’s wrong with her?” I sent over our mindlink.

“I don’t know. This happened before, when we got close. I don’t understand. I don’t remember what exactly happened. I assumed it was shock, then. That’s what the healers assumed.”

“What do we do?” I asked.

Lucian stood up with Zara cradled close to his chest.

“We take her to the healers,” Lucian declared. “And we make damn sure they actually find out what’s wrong this time.”

I nodded. I’d feel a little sorry for the healers, if they hadn’t apparently written off something seriously wrong as “shock.”

Lucian ran as fast as he could without jostling Zara. I followed close on his heels.

Why did she collapse, both times when she was intimate with one of us? Did it only happen when it was Lucian or me, or did it happen any time Zara became close to someone? What could possibly cause that?

Most of the pack was out, running as wolves. It was, after all, the full moon. There was one healer on duty in the healing house, on Lucian’s orders. The full moon was an intense time for any pack.

I’m not sure how they decided who had to resist the moon’s call. Maybe they traded out month by month.

“Alpha!” the healer on duty yelped as Lucian burst through the door. He noticed Zara and rushed forward. “What happened?”

“I’m uncertain,” Lucian admitted. “She collapsed. She seemed to be in pain before she lost consciousness, but there’s no sign of any injury.”

“Hm. Bring her in here, put her on an exam bed. I’ll look her over.” The healer bowed and motioned to the nearest door.

Lucian gently placed Zara on the bed and stepped aside.

“If you’ll both wait outside,” the healer said, bowing low to Lucian then nodding respectfully to me, “I need a moment of privacy to examine her.”

That annoyed me. We were her Alphas, why did she need privacy? Lucian, however, nodded and stepped outside. He pulled me along by the arm.

“Was that what happened last time?” I asked. “You were with her, and she collapsed. Was it like this?”

Lucian nodded. “Almost exactly. She grabbed her middle and collapsed. I don’t remember exactly what happened. We were intimate, I’m sure of that. We kissed. I remember a kiss. I think we might have gone farther, or we were going to.”

“Did she…” I stopped, not sure how to ask my own brother a question like that. “Fight you? Or did she seem willing?”

Lucian looked away from me, and my veins went cold.

“She didn’t fight,” he insisted. “I would have remembered. My wolf would… I would remember. She was willing. Like in the woods. She was willing, she participated. She pulled us both closer. I don’t remember much, but I am sure I remember her hands pulling me close.”

I nodded, relieved. “Yeah. I remember that, too.”

Lucian ran a hand through his hair. “Are we remembering accurately, though?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Our wolves are unstable,” Lucian pointed out.

“Yeah,” I agreed, “but Zara calms them. They wouldn’t hurt her. Right?”

Lucian shrugged, and refused to meet my eyes.

“You don’t think we did something?” I asked, begged really. “You don’t think we hurt her?”

“How can we be sure?” Lucian asked.

“But she would have said something the last time, if it was you,” I said. “She wouldn’t have gone out into the woods with us if she thought we’d… hurt her.”

“Would she?” Lucian asked. “She is afraid of us, Kieran. Can’t you smell her fear?”

My shoulders slumped and I nodded. “I thought things were getting better.”

“She’s gotten better at hiding her feelings,” Lucian said. “She still thinks we’re killers.” He paused. “I guess because we are.”

That was the first time I could ever remember Lucian sounding unhappy about that. We were killers, it was true. We had to be. He’d never been bothered by it before.

Before I could think of something to say to him, the healer stepped out into the hall.

“Well?” Lucian asked, turning his full attention to the healer.

“She’s all right, just resting,” the healer was quick to say. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you what happened.”

“Why not? I am Alpha,” Lucian said. “None of my wolves have secrets from me!”

“No, no, it’s not that,” the healer said, bowing and holding out his hands defensively. “I can’t tell you what’s wrong with Zara because I don’t know!”

“You don’t know?” I repeated.

“I… I can tell you what it’s not, and what it looks like. That’s all I can do,” the healer said.

“Go on,” Lucian growled.

“Well, she is not injured. Not intimately, not in any other way. I found no bruising, no broken bones, nothing. There’s no sign of shock, either.” He frowned. “Her chart shows she passed out before, and it was written off as shock?”

“Yes,” Lucian said. “It was shortly after a violent incident.”

“Well, unless you were battling monsters out in those woods, that’s not the case here. She’s showing none of the classic signs of shock at all.”

The only monsters out in those woods were Lucian and me. I glanced at my brother and winced.

“What about bond shock?” Lucian asked. “She had an incomplete mate bond, could that be acting up?”

To my shock, the healer shook his head. “I thought the same. But this is not bond shock.”

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yes. The symptoms are all wrong.” The healer folded his hands in front of him and shrugged. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was suffering from an incomplete shift.”

“Zara cannot shift, though,” Lucian pointed out.

“No, she can’t,” the healer agreed. “But her joints show signs of strain, and her muscles show fatigue in exactly the way a young wolf who fails their first shift might.”

“Can you do anything for her?” I asked.

The healer shook his head. “I wish I could, but there’s nothing physically wrong with her. Zara is in perfect health. I can only suggest rest, proper nutrition, and time.”

“We’ll see to it she gets those,” Lucian said.

“Of course, Alpha,” the healer bowed. “I will keep her the rest of the night for observation. Would you like her sent to her room tomorrow?”

“We’ll come get her,” I declared.

Lucian and I returned to our rooms. I followed Lucian to his, because I wasn’t done with our conversation. He poured me a glass of something old and expensive, and settled into a comfortable chair by the fire.

“We should kill her former mate,” he said.

“Would that help?” I asked. “They never completed the bond.”

“That we know of,” Lucian argued. “If he did, he could be influencing her, causing her pain through the bond.”

“And killing him would stop that,” I agreed, “but if he can influence her after so long from so far away, that means their bond is close. Killing him could send her into full bond shock. Her wolf would wither away, and pine, and she could die.”

“Her wolf is too weak to kill her,” Lucian argued. “It’s worth the risk.”

“Maybe,” I said, “but we should talk to Zara first. Find out if she wants to take the risk.”

“Zara’s too soft-hearted. He was seconds from forcing her to renew their bond, and she still asked me not to kill him.”

“I didn’t know that,” I admitted. “I still say we should talk to her. She’s part human, remember? And she’s always researching humans. Maybe she knows more about this than she’s telling us.”

Lucian sighed. “All right, I won’t kill him. But I will go and bring him in.” He paused, took a deep drink, and added. “We’ll talk with her, but that’s all we’ll do.”

I blinked. “Oh. Right. All we know is that we were intimate before she collapsed.”

“And just because whatever we did didn’t leave some physical sign, doesn’t mean we didn’t hurt her,” Lucian added.

I shuddered. I wasn’t that kind of monster. I was not. I’d know, wouldn’t I?

But I agreed with Lucian. We’d let her help us on the full moon, but she would take the lead. We wouldn’t ask for anything, and neither of us would touch her any other time. We’d keep her close but at arm’s length.

It was the only way to protect her.