Chapter 44

Lucian

We reached the Alpha house in the evening, a little late for dinner but well before nightfall. I ordered food sent to my rooms and pulled Zara along behind me. I could have ordered her to follow me, but she was in a mood so I figured it would be easier just to keep a hand on her arm.

Why was she so damn defiant, anyway? Didn't she understand that we would take care of her if she would just stop fighting us? Every other wolf in the pack understood.

The Alphas' job was to lead and protect. The pack's job was to follow and support. Everyone had a place, everyone fit.

Everyone except for Zara.

She refused to show her Alphas even a hint of the proper respect. Kieran's methods hadn't worked, in fact they made her act up more! Keeping her close to me hadn't had the desired effect, either. It was so frustrating!

And yet my wolf pined for her when she was out of my reach. Leaving the pack to fight the Rogues, leaving her behind, was almost physically painful. It made no sense!

And now I found out she already had a mate bond, but he rejected her. I couldn't imagine doing something like that. If I ever found my fated mate, I'd never leave her side.

Why did Zara cling to the tattered remains of her incomplete bond? Surely she could cut it off and find another mate, a better one. Not all mates were fated. Sometimes you never found your fated one. Sometimes they died. Sometimes they were arrogant jerks who should have been executed not sent to live with the Rogues.

Kieran followed us to my room, which I expected It was the full moon. He'd need Zara, too. I couldn't be selfish. I couldn't leave my brother to suffer.

He hadn't told me directly, but I could tell the voices were plaguing him more and more. Just like my blackouts were coming closer and closer. Before, it was one full moon in three. Now, it was every full moon. And sometimes even more often. After a fight, after I killed a threat, I'd find myself nowhere near where I started. My wolf clawed and tore at my control, growling and whining in the back of my mind. It gave me no peace.

Until we found our fated mate, Zara was all we had. We needed her to maintain our wolf-bonds and our sanity. And she kept trying to run away from us!

I needed to know why.

I turned to Zara as soon as the door closed behind her.

“You will explain to me,” I said, “Clearly and honestly, exactly what you were thinking.”

Zara backed away, until her back hit the door. I followed her, but stopped out of arm's reach. I wasn't going to get what I needed by force. I'd learned that much about the stubborn little fool.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Zara said, voice flat.

“Yes, you do,” Kieran retorted. “But I'll go ahead and ask. Why did you run?”

“I had to,” Zara whispered.

“What? Why?” I asked.

Zara shrugged and looked away.

“Zara. Talk to us,” Kieran said. “I thought we had a bargain. An understanding. What happened?”

“Can I eat?” Zara asked. “Before you lock me back in the tower. I haven't had anything since dinner last night.” She sighed. “Or does the punishment start now?”

“Punishment?” I asked. “You think we're punishing you?”

“Aren't you? You locked me in the tower before, and starved me. I guess I should be glad you just trapped me in the dark this time.”

I winced. Leaving the cell dark had been a bad idea. I hadn't meant it to stay dark so long, but the power really had cut out. The wires in the Alpha house were old, and we hadn't realized there was a short in the lines until Zara had spent two days in the dark.

“That was a mistake,” I admitted. “We didn't mean to do that to you.” I paused. “I suppose I should say... I'm sorry.”

“You're sorry,” Zara repeated, deadpan.

“Yes,” I said.

“Did you sprain something, saying that?” Zara mocked me.

I sighed. “So you ran because you thought we were going to keep you locked up?”

Zara nodded. “What else could I do? You wouldn't believe me about the poison. I had to get out.”

“We know you didn't try to poison us,” Kieran said.

“You do?” Zara asked.

I nodded.

“Then why did you lock me in the damn tower?” Zara shouted.

“I was trying to protect you!” I yelled.

“Protect me from what?” Zara demanded.

“Someone tried to kill you,” Kieran answered.

“What are you talking about?” Zara asked.

“There was barely any poison in our food,” I explained. “There was enough in yours to kill a dozen wolves.”

Zara shook her head. “You're lying. I'm fine.”

“And we're still trying to figure out how,” I said, “the healers examined all the food from that meal. Yours was definitely poisoned. Someone tried to murder you.”

“No, she wouldn't... you're lying,” Zara insisted. “Or the healers made a mistake. Why would anyone try to kill me?”

“She?” I repeated.

Zara shrugged and crossed her arms defensively.

“You know who did it,” I said. “Tell me. Now!”

Zara, of course, tilted up her chin and gritted her teeth. Why was this she-wolf so damn obstinate? Why would she protect someone who tried to murder her?

I growled and paced, fighting my frustration and my wolf's rage. Scaring her wouldn't help. She'd just find a way to run, and this time we might not find her in time. I had to stay calm. I had to stay in control.

“Zara, if you know something, I need you to tell me,” I said, trying for my most reasonable tone of voice.

Zara shook her head. “No. Because if it's true, then it's between me and... someone else and it has nothing to do with you. I can handle my own problems.”

That was the single most ridiculous statement I had heard out of her mouth. And she'd said a lot of insane things since I first met her. If she could handle her own problems, she wouldn't be where she was. I opened my mouth to explain that to her, but Kieran spoke first.

“Can't you at least agree not to run away again?” Kieran asked. “You have to realize you're safer with us.”

“But I'm not safe with you,” Zara said.

“What? Why not?” I asked. “You're not still upset about the tower.”

“The tower, twice,” Zara listed off. “He put me in a damn dog collar just so he could humiliate me in front of the whole pack. You killed my father!”

“That was a fair challenge,” I protested.

“Sure it was. A fair challenge between a wolf past his prime and two murderers half his age.”

“Lucian fought alone,” Kieran said. “I only watch the Challenges.”

“Oh, you just watch your brother murder people,” Zara snarled. “That makes it so much better!”

“No but it...” Kieran sighed. “Look, you don't understand. If we don't keep fighting, someone else will come along and kill us. That's life.”

“And that's why I want to leave,” Kira said, slumping back against the door.

“Yeah,” I said, “but we can't let you do that, can we? Come on. You wanted to eat. Let's eat.”

Zara stepped away from the door and I opened it to see that food had been brought on three trays, as ordered. Kieran and I both sniffed the food and took small bites of everything before we gave Zara a random selection from all three trays.

“Are you going to do this for every meal?” Zara asked.

“Until you tell us who tried to kill you, yes,” I replied.

Zara sighed, and bit into her food. The argument was over, for the moment. I was sure it would start again just as soon as her stomach was full.