Chapter 20

Zara

“I can explain,” I stammered, shrinking away from Lucian's icy gaze.

I couldn't get away. His grip around my waist was too tight. He leaned over my shoulder, idly tapping the vial against the sink.

“I'm sure you can,” Lucian purred. “I'd love to hear it.”

“I... it was the Rogue. He slipped me the poison, before he grabbed me.” I lied, just a little. Adrian hadn't been with the other Rogues in the ballroom, so he was probably alive somewhere. I didn't want Lucian to hunt him down. I didn't want to be the reason he died.

“The Rogue gave you the poison?” Lucian asked. He sounded only mildly interested, like we were discussing something mundane like the weather. I think he'd sound like that if I told him I saw lightning strike a tree in half. Politely interested, but nothing more.

“Yes. He wanted me to slip it in your food, since I'm your personal attendant. But I would never do that. We have a contract.”

“Is that what you told the Rogue?” Lucian asked. For some reason, he twirled a strand of my hair around the finger of the hand not holding the vial.

I shook my head. “I just told him I wouldn't do it.”

“And that's when he grabbed you, and held a knife to your throat?”

I nodded. It was a lie, but I doubted he'd bother to check my story. The room had been crowded and chaotic and the Rogue could have said anything in the time it took Lucian and Kieran to reach us. It wasn't like he could interrogate any of the Rogues to find out who'd really given me the vial.

Lucian shrugged. I saw the motion in the mirror and felt it against my back. He tossed the vial aside carelessly.

“You can poison me,” he whispered into my ear. “Well, you may try. If I die like that, I don't deserve the position I hold.”

I stared at him in the mirror. Was he insane, inviting me to try to kill him like that? Was he so confident he'd notice the poison before he ate it, or was he just sure I wouldn't dare to actually go through with it?

He hummed and held me tighter. I squirmed in his grip. He was being merciful, which was totally new for him, but he also had me pinned. I wasn't sure what to expect next.

“Soothe me,” he ordered, pressing his face into my hair. I felt him shiver against my back.

I took a deep breath. Soothe him. Okay, I could do that. I had to do that. I’d made a bargain. And I didn’t want him thinking too hard about that vial of poison.

Lucian’s hands loosened from around my waist, only to rise to grip my shoulders. He traced teasing circles along my skin, murmuring soft nonsense into my hair.

His touch tingled and sent little shocks of warmth straight to my gut. I clutched the towel tighter when one of his hands wandered lower, tracing the upper part of my spine. He leaned over and breathed in my scent.

His mouth wandered to my ear and softly nipped at the skin there. I gasped, and he licked his way down to my neck. He bit down just at the junction between neck and shoulder, and my knees went weak. Warmth pooled in my belly.

It felt so good. Why did it feel good to have his teeth scraping the soft, vulnerable flesh of my throat?

One of his hands wandered, tracing little circles over my belly. When had my towel fallen open?

He licked a line along my shoulder, and nipped that same spot before kissing behind my ear. I forgot I’d even been holding a towel.

Suddenly, I needed more. I twisted in his hold, and reached up to put my hands on his chest. He stared back at me and tilted his head, as if waiting for me to push him away.

His touch was gentle, so gentle. Even the bite was careful not to break skin. I was reminded of the night he’d come back from fighting the Rogues. He’d been so different then from the icy control I was used to. It was like he was an entirely different person.

Lucian’s hands found my waist again. His thumb massaged little circles in my skin while he turned us towards the wall. He lifted me up and pressed my back to the wall.

He held me there, pressed close to his body. I knew I should squirm, fight, push him away. Instead I leaned forward and claimed his mouth. Kissing him was dangerous, so dangerous. He’d know I was his mate.

Except this wasn’t the normal Lucian. This was Lucian’s other self, the feral self I’d soothed before. This Lucian already knew.

Kissing Lucian was everything kissing Adrian had never been. He kissed me like he wanted to devour me whole, yet his touch was almost hesitant, waiting for me to lean in, to open my mouth, to deepen the kiss.

I came up for air after a moment, dizzy with heat and desire. Kissing was good. Really good. I’d like more of that, yes, please. As long as he was like this, I could kiss him. If it was to soothe his wolf, it had to be safe.

No, this wasn’t safe. If he remembered later, and realized, I was lost. But in that moment I just did not care. I wanted more. I wanted him.

Lucian leaned forward to suckle and nip at my collar bone. I squirmed, not trying to get away this time but desperate for more contact. I tangled my hands in his hair and pulled him closer.

He grinned as he leaned back. There was no ice in his gaze at that moment. I gasped and brought my hands to his shoulders, only to realize I wasn’t smearing water around when I saw a smear of red left behind.

He tilted his head at my soft cry. I hadn’t meant to make a sound, I was startled. I shouldn’t be surprised; he was just in a fight and he got blood all over him. Did I think he’d stopped to wipe it all off before coming after me?

Lucian looked at my hands, and then twisted his head to look down at his own shoulder. It would have been easier to use a mirror but Lucian was too far gone for that.

He whined softly in his throat, and pulled back enough to let my feet touch the ground. He looked around, and then turned and walked into the shower stall, dragging me along by the hand.

He turned the water on, soaking us both. I was at least naked, having lost the towel at some point or other. Lucian was fully dressed.

He only seemed to notice that after the water soaked through his shirt. He huffed softly and tore first the shirt, then his pants off, throwing the wet mess off to the side. He scrubbed at the streaks of blood on his skin. Then he bent over and let me scrub the blood out of his hair.

Then, he turned to stare at me before picking up the soap in one hand and taking my hand in the other. He scrubbed the traces of blood off of my palms with a gentleness that sent shivers of pleasure through my whole body.

He’d been methodical and quick with his own wash, but he took his time with me, making sure there was not a trace of blood to be found on either hand.

Then, he leaned close again. I tilted my head up to accept another kiss. It was dangerous, so dangerous, but I wanted more.

His hands trailed up my arms, to press me against the wall again by my shoulders, then trailed down my sides to toy with my hips. I melted into his kiss, then squirmed as his lips found that wonderful spot at the base of my throat.

His hand wandered lower, trailing to my belly, inching lower. I gasped in pleasure.

Then, out of nowhere, a shock of pain shot through my body. Pleasure vanished in a bolt of sharp, stabbing agony. A scream choked its way from my throat and my knees gave way. The world went red, then white, then black. I didn’t feel myself hit the floor.