Chapter 15

Lucian

I switched to the twin bond to question my brother. It wouldn’t be wise to present anything but a united front to the rebellious girl.

“What exactly are you doing in here?” I demanded.

“I’m just playing with our little toy,” Kieran replied.

He pulled Zara away from the mirror and turned her to face me.

“Doesn’t she look delicious?” Kieran asked out loud. “She must wear this to the Mate Ball, don’t you agree?”

I shrugged. “It hardly matters what she wears, she’s only going to attend in order to calm our wolves.” I looked Zara up and down. The dress did emphasize her more attractive features. But that was hardly the point.

Kieran never fawned over a woman like this. It was odd for him to care about what a woman wore. Usually, Kieran only cared about removing that clothing as quickly as he could manage.

Over the bond, I scolded my brother.

“Learn some restraint, Kieran. You are Alpha over four conquered packs. You have more important things to do than toy with some she-wolf,” I sent.

“It's just a little fun. You should try it sometime,” Kieran replied.

I sighed. My brother would never learn. We had too much to do, and so little time, and Kieran insisted on wasting it on pointless things.

“She can come to the Mate Ball if you insist,” I sent back. “But you're responsible for her. I won't be embarrassed by your latest pet.”

Kieran shrugged and nodded. Zara looked from him, to me, and back. Her eyes were narrowed, suspicious. She might guess that we could communicate, but it was unlikely she understood just exactly how.

“Don't get too distracted by your little toy,” I ordered out loud, then turned to Zara. “Come with me.”

Zara stumbled after me, leaving Kieran alone in his room. Knowing him, he wouldn't be alone for long.

She followed me down the hall towards my room obediently enough. I noticed a distinct sense of relief in her features. She was glad to be away from Kieran.

Odd. Most people preferred him, as he seemed the more approachable one of us. Yet Zara was wary of him, maybe more wary than she was of me.

“Time to keep your end of our bargain,” I declared. “You're going to calm my wolf tonight.”

Zara's face fell from relief to resignation. Ah. So she was relieved to be away from Kieran, but she'd hoped to be sent off to her room.

I grinned, amused by the annoyed expression on her face. Maybe Kieran had a point. She was fun to toy with.

I led her to my bedroom, and motioned for her to sit on the bed. Zara hesitated, glancing at the door as if weighing her chances of escape. I waited patiently for her to figure out that her chances were exactly zero.

Zara huffed a deep sigh and perched on the bed. She stated with every line of her body that she would rather be almost anywhere else. Except maybe back in Kieran's room.

I could tell that she was lying, even to herself. I could smell the desire in her scent, warm and spicy like cinnamon. I wondered if I'd taste it on her if I licked her.

I sat next to her and kicked off my shoes before twisting to lay with my legs stretched out along the bed and my head nestled in her lap. Despite her stiff posture, it was nice to lay like that. Her scent was pleasant and her skin was soft. It was a nice distraction from the constant, pounding headache I'd been suffering through.

“Your wolf is acting up?” Zara asked.

“Hm. Soothe it,” I ordered.

“Right. I'll get right on that,” Zara said with thick sarcasm.

Well, I suppose that was something of a vague order. I let it slide, just that once, because before I could snap at her she started rubbing little circles on my temples with the tips of her fingers and that was too magical to interrupt.

I relaxed under her ministrations, lulled by the soft touch.

“You have a headache?” she guessed.

“Had,” I admitted. Her touch chased the pain away.

“I think it might be strain,” Zara said. And then, because she just could not leave well enough alone, added, “Probably from holding so many packs. I imagine all that killing you love so much adds to the stress, too.”

I snorted. It was easy for her to hold the moral high ground. She'd been a pampered little princess her whole life. She'd never faced a situation where it was kill or be killed.

“If that's the price for victory, I'll pay it,” I said. “I will keep moving forward, no matter what it costs.”

“Victory?” Zara asked. “Is it really worth all this? What's the point?

“Stagnation is death, little wolf,” Lucian informed her. “You keep striving or you wither and die. That's just the way it is.”

“You just like the killing,” Zara accused. “Conquering all these packs is just how you sate your lust for power. And your brother's lust for women.”

I shrugged. So Kieran liked women. Women liked him. What was wrong with that? And I didn't exactly lust for power. I just needed it, to ensure that my brother and I didn't die.

Unlike Zara, I knew how the game was played. I learned young. Too young, honestly. I was ten when my father lost the game and his life, taking my mother with him.

The Alpha who beat him cheated, of course. He used my brother's foolish kindness to get close. But it doesn't matter how you win. In the end, the only rule is to survive.

The truth is, I hate killing. It makes me sick. Every time I take a life, I remember my parents' lifeless bodies on the ground. I've hated death ever since that moment. But it doesn't matter. I do it because I have no other choice.

My brother and I were spared, and exiled to live as Rogues. We barely survived those first, awful months. None of our pack would lift a hand to help us. Those were the rules. The new Alpha won, we lost, and that was that.

So I swore I would never lose the game again. I survived, and I made myself strong. When my brother confessed what he'd done, his foolish kindness, I punched him. I told him to stop looking for forgiveness because I didn't have any to give him. Instead I told him to become stronger, to help me take back what was ours.

And we did. It took us nine years, but we did it. I challenged the Alpha who killed our father and I won. I took his life and I took back our pack. But I knew that wasn't enough. If we sat around enjoying our triumph, we'd grow weak and complacent and then someone else would come along to take everything away again.

So we kept fighting, and kept winning, and three years later I was the Alpha over four packs. And unless my wolf drove me insane, I would keep striving, keep fighting, and keep winning.

“I don't love killing,” I told Zara. “I'm ambitious, not a serial killer. I'm just doing what it takes to survive as a werewolf. You can't judge our people by human standards, you know.”

I honestly wondered where she'd gotten her admiration for human society, and why she was so desperate to go live among them. Maybe from her human parent?

“But you're already so strong,” Zara said, “You've conquered so many packs. What's the point? When does it end?”

“It ends when we die,” I said. “If I'm not moving forward, I'm a failure, and I refuse to fail.”

Zara shook her head and rolled her eyes, but she also kept massaging the headache away, so I again showed leniency. She'd better appreciate that.

“Don't get in my way,” I warned her. “And don't interfere with Kieran. I need him at the top of his game.”