Chapter 85

Emily

Michael's car is exactly the way I left it all of those weeks ago. Fancy and expensive car fragrances sit inside of the air conditioning holes, the familiar smell, adding to the paranoia that begins to butt on the inside of my head. Even the passenger seat feels like a trap, the soft plush of the chair, luring me into a false sense of security as Michael gets into the driver side beside me.

I take one last look outside of the window, looking up at Logan's office. The darkened and blurry figure looms in the middle of the window, looking down at us. I cannot see his face, but I do know that he is there, watching me as I make this reckless choice.

I slipped my phone from my bag, quickly moving to the messages that he and I have shared ever since he puts an engagement ring on my finger. I quickly type in a short message for him to read, wanting to try and lessen the bitter blow of me willingly getting into my ex-fiancé’s car.

Emily: He just showed up out of nowhere. I agreed to go with him so I wouldn’t cause a scene or any bad press for us.

I watch as the dots from his end of the line appear, the man slowly typing out his message as my heart pounds on the inside of my chest. The car begins to move with Michael talking but I do not pay attention to him, just the three dots that appear then disappear just to show up all over again, leaving me in a state of limbo.

Logan: Stay safe. Call me if you need anything or if I need to come pick you up.

His message immediately calms my body down. The ringing I once heard in my ears quickly dissipates as I slip my phone back into my work bag, turning my head ever so slightly to look at Michael in the driver’s seat.

He has gone quiet. It is probably because he realized that I was not paying attention to him, my focus on my phone and the man that he simply cannot stand to see win me over. His jaw is clenched and he tightly grips the steering wheel.

“Where are you taking me?” I ask in an attempt to try and relieve some of the tension that has filled inside of the car, that has formed between him and I.

“I thought that I could take you someplace where it can be just the two of us,” Michael begins to speak, barely looking in my direction as he takes a quick turn down the road, “someplace that we can talk with nobody there to listen.”

“I am not going back to your home, Michael,” I firmly state, “take us to a restaurant or something. We can have an early lunch or something. I hope you can understand why I do not wish to be alone with you.”

Michael does not respond. All he does is simply not his head and allow the uncomfortable and ugly silence to fester between us. I turn forward and stair straight ahead of the road, unsure of what to do or saying this moment to try and make things easier for me in the long run, not wishing to anger, Michael, more than I already have.

At the end of the day, I do not need another enemy on my list to constantly be worrying about. The love that I once had for Michael is gone, vanished as soon as I saw him and Chloe in the same bed together, but I do not wish to become his foe in the story of his life.

The car comes to a slow stop in front of a bar. The outside is less than ideal, dingy, and dirty with a few of the lights on the fritz. It is quite uncomfortable to look at let alone have to walk inside, the dark exterior matching the interior of the run down bar.

There are only a few lights on, the most of them hanging above the bar top where a single bartender stands, polishing a glass in his hand with a dirty rag. I hold back and contain the look of discussed on my face, not wanting to give away what it is that I am feeling in that moment.

Michael guides us towards the bar, waving the man over. He orders himself a drink, and then looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I shake my head and keep hold of the strap of my bag, my fingernails digging into the material of the strap.

I remain silent and watch as Michael waits for his drink, double shots of vodka over rocks, and watch as he takes his first sip of the alcohol, satisfied groan leaving his mouth. He turns to look at me, his lips pressing into a thin line.

“I’m still in love with you, Emily,” Michael admits. My body goes numb. “I want you to come back to me. I can forgive you for this…calculated outburst with Logan. You’ll have security with me, you know that, and I will never leave your side when you come back.”

“When I come back,” I scoff at the word and roll my eyes. “I’m not going to do that. You aren’t worthy of my time or love.”

“I can give you so much more than he can, though,” Michael immediately retorts, taking a step closer to me. I take one step back. “you know that we were happy together. I was an idiot for allowing you to slip through my fingers. I never should have gotten into bed with Chloe in the first place.”

“That is common sense, I fear,” I try my best to hide the bitterness in my voice, the way, the anger that I felt towards the situation slowly wakes up from its slumber, making me irritated and angry all over again. “you should never cheat on somebody you claim to love.”

“But I do love you,” Michael sighs, exasperated.

“No you—”

I am suddenly cut off by the feeling of his lips on mine. There is a flash to the side of us, something that registers that I truly am in reality, and not some sick nightmare that my body has placed into the form of a daydream. I immediately shove my off of me, my mind running a mile a minute.

“Why did you do that?” I ask, my heart pounding inside of my chest, unable to fully breathe properly as I speak.

“Ever since you left, I have felt so alone in this world. I just need to know what your lips felt like against mine again,” Michael quietly sighs.

“I hate you,” I forced the words out of my mouth, my eyes suddenly watery from tears that I refuse to let fall. Tears for a man that I refuse to dignify or put any more time and effort into after this moment.

I storm out of the bar, my skin and body feeling so dirty after the encounter with Michael. I just feel so used and betrayed right now. In this moment, unable to fully wrap my head around what just happened.

I pull out my phone. My instinct to contact Logan kicks in, my fingers taking me to his contact, my index finger hovering over the call button. I hesitate.

No… I should not do this. This will only anger logan and will make things much more worse for me. For us.

I draw my hand away from the phone. I begin to slowly walk down the sidewalk, putting as much distance between me and the bar as possible, trying to figure out a way to reconcile with the fact that I can no longer have Michael in my life, whether he is an enemy or not.