Chapter 134

Logan

I hate the silence that has formed between us. Emily simply does not talk to me, often to stare out the car window instead of engaging in any kind or semblance of a conversation with me. I think we both know that it is my fault for ruining the day, for bringing her to a surprise baby shower. In my defense, though, if I even have a defense that is, I would like it to be stated on the record that I did not know that her family was going to be invited nor did I think that it would only consist of people from the office.

What is killing me the most about this whole situation is the fact that Emily has yet to open up about what her stepmother and stepsister said to her. She has not utter a single word about what it is that they have done and it is slow slowly, killing me on the inside to know that I was not there to protect her when she needed it the most. I made that vow to her at our wedding altar, to love and protect her through thick and thin, and I have failed her.

I open my mouth to ask her about it, to try and open up the conversation to the sadness and anger that she must be feeling right now, but I am quickly interrupted by the sounds of her quiet cries. My heart shatters inside of my chest, forced to listen to her heavy and ragged breathing, the way she tries to calm herself down by placing her hand on her chest.

“Emily,” I breathe her name out, hoping that it can give her some semblance of comfort that she needs in this moment.

Her quiet and meek cries, turn into something more, something depressing and angering to watch. Her cries transform into full body sobs, her body trembling in the passenger seat beside me as she covers her face with her hands.

I reach over and placed my hand on her thigh, hoping that it can help ground her in this moment. She sniffles and cries, trying to control her breathing. I shake my head and squeeze her leg, gently caressing the top of her thigh with my thumb.

“Don’t hold it in, baby, let it all out. You need to let it all out, yeah?” I quietly speak to her, my voice, both soothing and calming.

Emily, without hesitation, hunches over and places her head on top of the baby bump. I move my hand from her leg to her back, rubbing soothing circles into her back. She stays like this for a few minutes, her cries filling in the silence of the car.

“It is okay to cry. Everyone deserves a chance to cry. You'll feel better when you get it all out,” I quietly whisper to her, doubting that she can even hear what it is that I am saying over the sounds of her labored breathing. Honestly, I think I'm speaking more to myself that everything will be okay, that my wife will be okay, and that there is nothing that I need to worry about.

I just hate the fact that it is my fault that she's feeling this way. I never should've brought her to the baby shower and I never should've let her out of my sight. The lingering smell of cigar smoke is a reminder of my downfall today, a reminder of what it is that I chose over the safety and protection of my wife.

Emily slowly straightens her posture and leans back into the chair. Her eyes remain closed and I simply stare at her as you pull up to a red light. The engine vibrates the car and I can feel it through the steering wheel beneath my fingertips, keeping me rooted in reality instead of allowing my mind to overtake my senses.

Emily tilt her head over to look at me. Her eyes are a bright, red color, glossy, her cheeks, pink and stained from her tears. Her makeup is ruined and she looks like a mess.

She has calmed down, though. Her breathing has returned normal and she is no longer a crying mess to the side of me. A piece of my heart is glad that she is feeling better in this moment, even if her heart is still in shambles over what transpired at my family's home.

Without thinking, I turn left at the light, the car traveling down the street to where a row of restaurants and drive-through are located. Emily raises her eyebrow me, but I do not pay attention to it, simply moving to park in an empty spot in front of an ice cream shop. Before Emily can even say anything to stop me, I get out of the car and walk inside to buy her a big, fat cup of her favorite ice cream.

After a few minutes, I walked back out and get back into the car, passing off the egregiously large cup of strawberry, flavored ice cream into her hand. Emily hesitates to eat, but as soon as she takes, the first bite, she begins to devour it, putting a smile on my face as I pull out of the parking lot.

The silence is better now. On the way back to our house, I find myself smiling at the sunny day that surrounds us. I rolled the windows down and allow the warm breeze to hit our skin as we drive down the long road back to our home.

Emily finishes her ice cream and keeps the empty cup in her lap, toying and fidgeting with the plastic spoon in her hand. I turned down the streets that leads to our neighborhood and slowly let go of the gas pedal, resting my hand on the back of her seat before looking over at her as we make our way through the winding roads.

“Would you like to talk about what happened at the baby shower?” I ask, hoping that she will see that my intention is pure and not to force her to talk about anything. Emily sharply inhales and I wince at the sound, trying to not let it affect me as much as it usually does.

“I just want a break, you know? I don't want to deal with life anymore. I am exhausted, like, all the time and I feel as if I am drowning most days,” Emily looks down at her lap as she bears her soul out to me. “I honestly just need a break from life. I'm tired, but it is the kind of tired that a nap can't fix.”

“I understand,” I slowly nod my head as I take another turn. My hand moves to the back of her neck, gently easing knot that has formed beneath her skin. “I could honestly use a break too. What if we take a vacation where it's just the two of us? We can leave the city behind for a bit and take a break.”

“No,” Emily shakes her head, “your schedule is way too busy for you to do that. You have so much going on with the contracts and the campaign. I would never ask you to do something like this.”

“I want to, though,” I say as I pull up into the driveway. I put the car into park and fully turned to look at her. “I would do anything for you. Hell, I will even work from the vacation home if it means that we can just get away and be happy with each other.”

I watch the contemplation flash across her face. After a moments of hesitation, after going through all of the hypothetical situations in her mind, Emily and I’s gazes meet, and she gives me a firm nod, confirming our new plans.