Chapter 110

Emily

After the meeting with Logan's father, time has flown right on by like a whirlwind and has left me with a perpetual feeling of whiplash and uncertainty. His family has been handling everything involving the wedding, his stepmother, taking over the role as the wedding planner while I focus on my own pack, appointing a temporary alpha in my place as I take this next step in my life.

A certain anxiety has weighed me down these past couple of weeks, though. While my stomach has remained flat and uneasy, there is one thing that is hanging over my head, ready to ruin everything that I have built with Logan in this past year.

I am pregnant.

I took a test a couple of weeks ago, the pink positive sign burning into my eyes, forever stained in my memory. I have yet to tell Logan of this, unsure what it is he has to say on the matter. I know that he does not wish to have children, that he sees them as a means to an end, not wanting to put them through the same trauma and expectations that he had to live through.

It does not help, though, that I am all alone on my wedding day. My unborn child that sits inside my room is the only person to keep me company, the only one to walk me down the aisle before I vow to give the rest of my life to my future husband.

My mother and grandfather have passed, unable to attend the wedding. My father is currently being held in jail after the courts indicted him for my baby cousin's murder. I have no family to sit on my side of the aisle, except for the obligatory pack members that felt the need to come, even though I told him that it was not necessary, to not waste our time if they did not wish to join me.

It does bring me some comfort, though, that a few of them showed up, giving me their full support. I have made a few friends in my time with the pack, showing them that I am more than just to figure your head in a pretty face that wished to rule their pack, like a tyrant, like my father was.

I stare at myself in the mirror, taking in the pristine white dress that I wear. It hugs my body, flaring out once it reaches my waist. The layers of fabric make it look like a slim down ball gown, I'm more relaxed version of a princess that one would see in a fairytale on the screen.

My eyes dropped to my stomach. In just a matter of weeks, Logan will see changes to my body, the way my belly will soon be bulging out. I have to tell him, I know that, I am just uncertain of how he would respond.

How could he? How could he come up with a reasonable response to me hiding something so big, something that will be sure to change our lives in the next couple of months?

I feel so guilty keeping it from him, it makes me want to throw up, to run away from the altar, to abandon him on a day that is supposed to be happy, to fill it with sadness and grief when we should be basking in the smiles of the people around us.

Oh, how I would give everything to go back in time to tell him the first day that I found out. Maybe then, he would've canceled the wedding and we would've parted ways in that moment despite the love that we feel for one another. I do not want to give up on this baby, the lingering feeling selling over my head that Logan is more than willing to give up this child simply because the wolf is dormant. It is something that I am unable to bring myself to do, seeing how I was stuck in the same position as a child.

They have no choice in the matter if their wolf is dormant or not. Fate has chosen that reality for them, not me. I know from firsthand experience that there is nothing that one can do to try and awaken their wolf, that has to be done and its own time, that one cannot lure it out of hiding.

There is a knock on the door. It caused me to jump in my spot, turning to look at Logan who enters the room. I gasped and turned around, trying to shield my parents from him.

“Isn’t it bad luck to see me before the wedding?” I ask, trying to conceal a small smile on my face.

“Eh, I never was one to follow tradition,” Logan comments. I feel his hands on my waist, allow turning me around. I look up at him with wide eyes, nervous to hear what he thinks about my appearance. “You look…breathtaking.”

“Stop,” I blush and roll my eyes, looking away. He draws me back to him and kisses me. Slow and sweet, devouring my anxiety in one motion. When he pulls away, he places his forehead on mine and I find the strength to speak again, “I’m nervous.”

“Me too. It’s okay. We are going to get through this together,” he smiles at me. I roll my eyes.

“You make it sound like us getting married is a bad thing,” I huff. He chuckles and kisses me again, attempting to push away my annoyed attitude. It works like a charm.

“I wanted to come in here and talk to you about something,” Logan says.

He pulls away from me, keeping me close to him, but adding distance between us. My heart skips a beat. I have something to say to him too, but I do not know if I have the strength to say it.

“I want you to know that I love you. That I am in this marriage with the long run,” he looks down at me with nothing but love and respect in his eyes. It makes my heart swell at the sight. “I love you and I don’t wish for us to be separated just because some contract says so.”

“Really?” I asked, unable to contain the excitement that I feel. He nods in response.

Suddenly, I feel the courage to speak up, to fill him in on the information that he does not know. This is my chance to come clean about my pregnancy, the fact that I am carrying his child and that he is completely oblivious to the fact.

I open my mouth speak, but no words come out. I can feel myself draw away from him, leading back into his hands as he brings me closer to him, swallowing me into a hug.

I cling onto him, my fingers digging into the fabric of his suit jacket. I pressed my face into his chest, feeling his hand, gently smooth out the wrinkles in the back of my dress.

“I love you so much, Logan,” I exhale into his chest, unable to bring myself to say it, while looking into his eyes, knowing that I am hiding a secret from him.

“I love you too, Emily,” he responds, kissing the top of my head.

He steps away from me, our hands remaining connected. I remain in place as he walks backwards, our eyes never leaving each other, the man reaching the door. With one final look, he smiles at me, the guilt building inside of my chest at a rapid pace.

“I can't wait to see you walk down the aisle…for you to become my wife,” Logan smiles, reverence in his voice.

“I can't wait either,” I respond, forcing a smile onto my face.

The door closes, and I am left with the burning reality that I am a liar, everything that Logan did not wish for me to be. It is eating me alive. I do not know how to move on from here.