Chapter 1 River

Pov River

It starts the same every night, my mom in her best raggy dress her blonde hair pulled in a pony tail, my 12-year-old brother Ryder with his shaggy brown hair and blue eyes that matches our mother's. 7-year-old me with my blonde hair in pig tails sitting at the table waiting for my father to come home so we can finally have dinner.

He storms in yelling and screaming about how we have ruined his life. His green eyes that match mine raging, his brown hair ruffled and standing straight up. He keeps yelling about how we hold him back and disrespect him just by being alive. Yelling at my mother about how cold his food is.

Then just flashes of my mom in the corner trying to cover her bleeding head as I watch her already bruised and battered face swell. Him in her face screaming about how worthless she is and how shity she's made his life.

Then him running at me screaming about how he should just kill me and maybe then she'll learn to show him some respect.

Me laying on the ground in pain screaming and crying trying to get away from him. Then I watch in horror as Ryder runs and pushes him off of me. The loud thud of my brothers body being slammed to the floor.

Ryder yelling at me "Run River Run" then him yelling

"Don't look back, just run" as he's choking on his own blood while our father kicks and stomps on his body.

Just as it starts the same way it always ends the same, me screaming and crying as I watch my father beat Ryder until he's no longer moving blood running into a puddle around him.

I think I will always remember the horrible sounds my father's fists make as they collide with my brothers face and body over and over again.

He then drags me by my hair down the hallway and throws me in my room. Kicking me in the stomach telling me to shut up and quit crying.

I hear the lock click as he locks me in, he doesn't unlock the door till morning. He learned early on that people asked questions when we missed to much school.

I remember crawling under my bed and crying myself to sleep that night and almost every night since.

8years later

I wake up sweating, shaking and crying in bed and just like any other day I groan as I try to pull my battered and bruised body out of bed. I'm bruised head to toe from his beating a few days before and my chest and stomach hurt from the burns he added last night.

It's been 8 years today since that horrible night but I still dream of the last time I seen my mom and big brother Ryder. To be fair it's really the only memory I have left of them. I'm not allowed to mention their names or ask about them, like I ever talk to my father anyway.

I still remember coming home from school and being told by my father that my mom and Ryder left us.

How they ran away in the middle of night like cowards. Leaving me behind because no one could love someone as useless as me.

I know my mom loved me, I know that because she told me everyday. She always made sure that me and Ryder knew how much she loves us.

She always did the best she could or at least the best she was allowed by my alcoholic, drug using gambling addicted father would allow her.

I know in my heart that he did something to them because I know that my mom and Ryder would never just leave me here alone with this monster.

I head to the bathroom to shower and get ready for school. This will be my first day back in four days.

As I'm getting the shower ready

I turn and catch a glimpse of my black and blue body in the mirror. I'm so skinny you can see my ribs. My blonde hair is long and thin, mostly from my father pulling it out.

I have bruises literally from collarbone to my feet, some old and some new from last night's attack. I hope everyday that he doesn't come home.

Luckily this time when he beat me he remembered not to hit me where people can see. He mostly avoids my face and neck.

Five days ago when I got home from school I wasn't so lucky though. He was drunk and apparently it was my fault they kicked him out of the casino again.

I still have some bruising on my face but nothing I can't cover up with makeup now.

I hate missing school with a passion, it's the only safe place I have left. The only place I'm allowed to go.

Plus my bestfriend Reese is there she's all I have. The only person I have to talk to, I'm not popular and most kids avoid me.

I wish I was allowed to have a phone like the other kids then I wouldn't have to miss her so much.

Me and her have been friends since second grade and I couldn't have gotten through school without her.

I used to be able to go and stay over at her house for sleepovers but that all changed when her dad got a big job promotion at one of the casinos and realized who my father was.

Her parents are still friendly and always wave when I see them picking her up at school but it's not the same smile as before now all I see is the pity in their eyes.

One time Reese walked in on me changing my shirt

I watched as her eyes grew bigger before I hurried and covered myself up.

She's never brought it up but I know she knows

I'm just too a shamed to say the words out loud.

At school me, Reese and her boyfriend Denalii are inseparable or at least we were until about a month ago. They just started dating and now he doesn't seem to want me around.

He only started here about 6 months before but we all instantly hit it off or so I thought we did. Now things have changed and I'm not sure when or why they changed.

Denalii or Nali as we call him has been really cold towards me almost to the point of being cruel.

Now he says mean things, trying to not include me in plans and just kinda pushing me out.

As I stand there I start to feel a twinge of pain in my chest as my eyes start to fill with tears.

I take a deep breath and think outloud.

No, I won't let him push me out, I won't lose my only friends. I'll figure out what I did wrong and somehow fix it.

School and those two are all I have left.

The only happiness and escape I get to have.

The only tiny bit of safety that I have in my sad miserable life.