Chapter 63

Shirley

I’d been right - today was a lot better than yesterday. Maybe that’s because of my baking session with Keith’s mother or the decent sleep I had last night. Whatever the reason, I’m glad I was a little more at ease today.

Hearing Jean’s voice that afternoon also seemed to help. She sounded happier than ever as she told me how much Eliot loves his new school. She seemed decently pleased even though she admitted she preferred the schools in Lock Heart. I felt sorry for the fact, silently wishing for a world where she could return.

But now I’m sitting on my bed, giving a small yawn as I check the time. It’s still a little early and despite being tired - I don’t necessarily want to climb into bed. Instead, I perk up a little as I propose the idea of a bedtime snack, hoping I can sneak some of the cookies Ruth made.

Leaving my room, I go to the kitchen and find exactly what I’d hoped for. The container of cookies is on the counter, practically begging to be eaten. Smiling, I open it up and take out one of the baked goods, not wasting any more time before I take a bite.

Only, just as I begin to relish in the delicious taste, a noise from the hallway stops me. I look up just as someone comes into the room.

I’m hit with a shock as my eyes land on Keith, though he doesn’t seem to wear my same surprise. Instead, his face is smooth as he leans his shoulder on the doorframe, his gaze taking me in.

“Shirley,” he says then, and I hate how wonderful his voice sounds as he states my name. He even has a slight smile. “Care to join me for a drink?”

“What?” I ask. “Now?”

Keith nods. “No time like the present.”

I blink at him and then lower my gaze down to the cookies. However, soon I’m looking back up before I cautiously nod. “…okay?”

Keith nods me along, and I make sure to close the container before I follow. We meet up in the hallway, causing my skin to buzz as he then leads me down. I expect we’re going to his office, but he surprises me when he opens another door, gesturing for me to walk through. There, I find myself standing in what I assume is Keith’s private sitting room.

“What would you like?” Keith asks as he passes me - the door already closed behind him.

I turn and watch as he walks toward the bar cart.

“Whatever you have,” I say. Keith nods in reply, already pouring some honey-colored liquid into two glasses.

When he’s done, he walks back, meeting up with me before he holds out a glass.

“Here you are,” he says before I reach out and take it. He then sweeps an arm toward the nearby couch and two armchairs. “Please. Sit.”

I do as I’m told, causing me to move toward the couch. There, I lower myself down, trying to get comfortable. Keith joins me, taking up one of the armchairs as he effortlessly relaxes and takes a sip of his drink.

Why does he seem so calm? It certainly isn’t what I would have expected considering the last time I saw him was when we’d been out in the snow. The whole thing has my stomach in knots, leaving me unable to take a swig of my own drink.

Keith finally rests his drink on his knee, his eyes back on me as he presses back in his chair more.

“How’s your work going?” he asks.

“Fine,” I draw out. “I sent out an email with some updates earlier.”

“Ah,” he begins in turn. “Sadly, I didn’t see it. I’ve been a little busy.”

Busy…something about the way he says busy makes me feel warm. In fact, this whole situation is making my skin heat. Again, the drink, atmosphere, and Keith’s easy gaze feel a little intimate - I just want to know what he wants.

“What have you been working on?” I finally ask. I can’t help but notice Keith's coy smirk that soon follows.

“Just a small project,” he says. “Self indulgent.”

I nod hesitantly in reply, figuring he won’t give me any more information.

“You know…” Keith begins after another moment. “I’m surprised that you still haven’t heard from your sister. I thought she’d reach out by now.”

Now I nearly stiffen, but I fight with everything in me not to move an inch. Instead, I soon offer a loose shrug.

“Like I’ve said before, my sister is a little bit of a mystery,” I state. “I never know what to expect.”

Just like I never know what to expect with Keith. I’m surprised to find he’s asking me about Anya… we haven’t talked about my “sister” in weeks.

“I just can’t understand how a person can vanish completely,” he continues. “…Like she never existed.”

I gently swallow following his words.

“Anya gets like that,” I try. “If she wants - she’ll make sure she can’t be found.”

Keith hums at my reply, his gaze still pinned on me. It causes me to finally lift my glass, trying to keep it steady as I bring it to my lips and take an aching sip.

“Your sister is quite the character,” Keith eventually comments. “I’ve been trying to think of why she’d leave Ralph when they seemed so in love.” He pauses then, taking a moment to study me.

“Do you know why she’d want to suddenly leave Ralph?” he asks.

I breathe as his question hits me, as some of the kindness has slipped from his face. Instead, he seems a little more serious, determined.

Yes. Yes, I know exactly why Anya left in a hurry. She was no longer needed in this little game. The part of Anya was over and done with once Ralph rejected Jean and I disposed of her.

That’s the real reason. However, I can feel my head beginning to ache as I form more lies.

“I don’t,” I state.

“You don’t?” he asks. “You have no idea?”

“No,” I say, a little quieter.

I can see a slow sigh cause Keith’s chest to fall, but then he pushes himself to stand, taking a few stalking steps as he sips his drink, emptying his glass.

“Was it because she was just playing games? Fooling everyone for her own entertainment?” he asks, casually pacing.

“I don’t know…” I reply to him.

“Did she just want Ralph’s money and fled once he bought her a few designer bags?” Keith asks next.

“No…I mean, I don’t think so,” I say again, baffled that he could think it could have been something so simple.

Keith shakes his head, not pleased with my lack of information.

“I just can’t understand why she would leave,” he states. “And then a few days later,” he says, stopping as he faces me. “You show up.”

I don’t say anything as our gazes meet, but I can feel my head pounding as I try to keep up with him, trying to match his every blow.

“It’s just such a funny coincidence, don’t you think?” Keith asks. “Almost as much of a coincidence as you two looking nearly exactly the same - except for that single mole.”

I breathe as I listen, the ache in my head only growing worse. Every second that passes I can feel myself becoming more exhausted by this little dance.

“And it’s also a coincidence that you conveniently know nothing about what Anya has done, where she’s gone, and that you can’t contact her,” Keith rattles out to me.

“She doesn’t want to be found,” I offer weakly. I want to say more, but I can’t. It's as if my brain has stopped working. And maybe it has - because I’m so Goddess damn tired from these lies.

“Did she have feelings for Ralph?” Keith asks then. “True feelings for Ralph that she couldn’t face?”

“No!” I say, the word falling easily as it’s the truth. However, I realize my mistake as I’m not supposed to know why Anya has left.

“Then why, Shirley!?” Keith yells then, obviously over this little back and forth. He draws closer, stopping in front of me. “Why doesn’t she want to be found?”

“I don’t know!” I yell back, standing from my seat, leaving only a foot of space between us. “I…I don’t know!”

But I can feel it - that final thread snapping as the fire inside of me is faintly flickering. It’s not roaring like it normally would as I kept up with Keith’s tests. I don’t want to do this anymore - I don’t.

It causes sudden tears to meet my eyes, adding to my annoyance as I hold Keith’s stare. His gaze is still intense, his brow furrowed. However, as my lip begins to tremble, I see his tension slowly begin to slip.

His eyes flicker between mine, watching as I’m trying to hold myself together. But finally his stare steadies.

“I know, Shirley,” he says, his words deep and quiet.

“I know,” he states again.

He knows. He doesn’t even have to say what he knows - I’ve already connected the dots.

The way he graced me with smiles when he brought me in here as if preparing me for a hunt. The way he immediately brought up Anya. The way he wouldn’t let the conversation go despite my curtness.

He knows. I don’t know how or why…but he knows I’m Anya.

At the realization, something within me officially crumbles. My body completely deflates as I realize the lies are done, the fight is over. And I fall right into Keith’s arms. He catches me effortlessly, holding me up and even wrapping his arms around me to keep me from collapsing.

My head lays against his chest, my body shaking as I try not to give into my desire to break down in sobs. I have no idea why I’m overcome with so much emotion.

And I have no idea why Keith is holding me, supporting my weight. Shouldn’t he be dropping me like trash after all the lies I’ve told? The questions in my head cause me to look up at him, my eyes meeting his as he looks down at me.

There’s no anger behind his own, just concern. I’m not sure what he could be worried about, but for a moment…I don’t care. All I care about is the relief I feel in this moment, and how Keith finally knows the truth.

Maybe it’s because of my relief that I’m suddenly moving, but I don’t hesitate before I shift up onto my toes.

And I bring my lips to Keith’s, kissing him with everything that I have.