Chapter 26
Shirley
After finishing the errands, I return to Jean’s to find that she has finished packing up the rest of her things. Thankfully, we were able to pull some strings for a moving company to pick up everything within the hour and booked a flight for this evening. Even if we had to pay a ridiculous amount, we figured it’s worth it just in case Ralph changes his mind and returns - though I doubt that will happen.
He thinks he’s about to have the Alpha King’s blessing - he’ll never turn back.
Once the movers arrive, they’re quick to load all of Jean and Eliot’s belongings into the truck. However, that’s likely because Jean and I both seem a little frantic and they can sense our desperation. I swear everything gets packed and strapped down within the blink of an eye.
Now it’s just Jean, little Eliot, and me standing in front of her house, holding each other's hands as we stare at the flourishing rose bushes and forest green shutters. As Jean inhales slowly, her hard stare sweeping over every detail, I make sure to give her hand a small shake.
“This isn’t home,” I tell her. “A home shouldn’t be like this.”
Even despite the beautiful memories she’s made there, the bad ones overshadow them. As charming as it is on the outside, and even on the inside considering Jean’s amazing decorating - the events that have occurred within those walls make it seem as lovely.
And I think Jean realizes that too. Her eyes are finally able to pull away and she looks at me, holding my gaze for nearly a minute before she nods. Without another word, the three of us turn our backs on the house and make our way to the waiting car. Never looking back again.
~
The drive to the airport was smooth and easy as there was little traffic among the streets. However, halfway to the airport, my phone begins to ring, causing me to pull it out. As Jean and I read the name across the screen, I feel her stiffen beside me as I sigh.
Ralph.
I’m not surprised he’s calling me. In fact, I may just be shocked that he didn’t call sooner - I expected a phone call the minute he’d left Jean. But then again, he could have been taking care of his own errands before he decided to reach out. Like transferring the large sum of money that Jean received only twenty minutes ago.
Continuing to simply stare at the screen, I watch as it rings and rings before Ralph’s name eventually disappears. But then it pops up again. But once more, I don’t answer.
Nor do I pick up when he calls when we’re five minutes from the airport. Or as we pull up to the curb. I also don’t reply to the dozens of text messages he begins to send before he calls for the fifth time.
Finally, as we’re walking into the airport, I’ve decided I’ve had enough. I stop mid stride, glowering down at the phone in my hand as I notice Jean stop ahead of me.
“What is it?” she asks as she turns back. But I don’t answer her. All I can think about is Ralph’s incessant calls and messages that I know won’t stop until I respond. However, I know that my phone also warrants other concerns.
If Ralph can’t reach me, then he may deem it necessary to come and find me - especially if he’s worried. After all, the missing she-wolves are still a concern and he could think I’ve been targeted now that my “identity” has been revealed. And where would he start? By tracking my phone.
Yeah, that can’t happen.
Without another thought, I immediately turn off my phone, silencing the ringer just as Ralph calls again. But that’s not all I do. Promptly, I let it slip out of my hand, causing it to slam harshly into the sidewalk below.
“What are you doing?” Jean calls out, a wave of concern in her voice.
But I don’t stop. Lifting my leg, I swiftly slam down my heel on the center of the phone, causing the screen to earn a crack. And then I stomp it again and again - shattering, crunching, and destroying it.
Once I’m certain it’s completely useless, I lean down to pick up the pieces before I finally meet Jean’s gaze.
“I don’t want him to be able to contact me,” I tell her, holding up the mess. “Or find me.” From there, Jean’s eyes are as big as saucers as she watches me go to the trash can, swiftly dumping it inside. Then, I walk back to her side, throwing an arm around her shoulders.
“Phones can be replaced,” I state lightly. “Now, let’s get out of here.”
~
Sitting on the plan, thousands of miles in the air, I stare out at the night sky drifting by. Jean and Eliot are beside me, but both of them fell asleep nearly an hour ago, leaving me to sit in silence in our darkened cabin.
It has been hours since I smashed my phone, cutting off all contact with Ralph. And I’m sure that after he was sent to voicemail countless times or saw his messages could not be delivered that he now knows there’s something wrong. He knows I’m gone.
It’s relieving - thinking about how he’s probably bedside himself with the discovery of my disappearance. The mental image is even sweeter when I picture him coming home and finding Jean has left, feeling how the bond is gone. I hope he cries, screams, and experiences every ounce of pain that Jean has the last few months.
However, every time I replay the daydream in my head, I always find myself drifting, beginning to picture someone else.
I see Keith. It’s always different. Sometimes he’s sitting at the cafe table, or standing in front of me on the street. But more often, I see both of us on the dance floor at Bounce, our gazes piercing into one another’s as we can’t look away.
I know that I should be thrilled at the fact that Jean is now safe from Ralph, that we’ve finally escaped. Only, there’s a tenderness in my heart that keeps getting more painful with every mile that we cross. My joy is being veiled by sadness…loneliness. And it only gets worse each time I think about Keith.
“I’ll see you later.”
Those last words still echo in my mind, and I can’t stop thinking about how I didn’t say anything in return. Instead, his last memory of me will be another bullshit lie I fed him - something about phone calls and responsibilities.
My arms wrap around myself now, allowing me to hug myself tightly as I stare down at the twinkling lights of a city below. However, they all become a blur as my mind continues to slip back to Keith - the way he spoke, smelled, felt.
But after a moment, it’s not his touch that distracts me, but Cicy’s. I feel her nudge me with her head, hear a soft whine empty from her throat as she stares at me with a mournful gaze.
I miss him.
Her words strike me, as do the thoughts she presses into my head as I feel her yearn for Keith’s hand stroking her fur, making her feel safe and secure. She wants his soothing touch and as I feel a breath shudder through my lungs, I face a truth that I wish wasn’t real.
I miss him too.
How is that possible? How can I miss Keith and be so affected by his absence? I’ve only known him for weeks - hardly any time at all. And yet, I feel so alone as I grow closer to the life that doesn’t include him.
Or maybe I’m just being dramatic, my head is too foggy because I’m upset. In times like these, it would make sense that I’d long for his calming nature to settle me down - to settle both Cicy and myself down. But that’s not going to happen. No, I left. I’m gone. And it’s time to still be that shoulder for Jean to lean on. These thoughts I’m having about Keith don’t matter - all that matters is that Jean is safe.
As if to prove a point to myself, I glance over to Jean and Eliot, fondly studying their sleep faces that appear so peaceful. I hope every sleep they have from here on out is that restful, that each day is filled with satisfaction and happiness.
This is for the best. It doesn’t matter how torn I feel inside because - at the end of the day - I was able to protect Jean. All I can do now is leave Keith behind, shove him to a dark place in my memory despite Cicy’s disapproval. And I’ll go back to my old life where I’ll drown myself in work.
That will get rid of the ache, I tell myself. Even as I wonder if the man I’m trying to forget knows that I’m even gone.
