Chapter 94

Alaric’s POV

Work has kept me busy these past few days, tying me to my office and my desk more than I would otherwise like.

But proposals needed approved and papers needed signed. Though my heart remained in BloodyMoon pack lands, I couldn’t abandon all of my responsibilities to pursue it.

Besides, even I can admit, that after everything I’ve done, wooing Cara again is going to take time. It’s taken me far too long to recognize my feelings for her, and in that time she has learned not to trust me. It will take time to tear down that foundation of mistrust and rebuild.

I need time to show her that I am the kind of man she can depend on, and that I won’t hurt her again.

“You’ve been working nonstop the past few days,” my beta John says. He is a good man. Not as talented a beta as Cara, but no one would be able to fill the shoes she left behind. “I think it would be in your best interest if you took the evening off to rest.”

As he suggests it, I notice that my eyes are drooping somewhat and my movements are more sluggish than they should be.

Maybe I have been overdoing it, trying to finish all my work so that I can return to BloodyMoon and Cara as soon as possible. My heart is pushing me forward, but even a body as strong as mine has limits.

John is right to call me out. I need rest.

“Thank you, John,” I say, admitting defeat. “I think I will turn in for the night.”

John nods, then helps me sort everything on my desk so that in the morning, I can return and pick up right where I left off.

At home, I shower and crawl into bed. The minute my tired bones hit the mattress, I feel just how truly exhausted I am. Closing my eyes, I’m asleep in seconds, the fastest I’ve ever fallen asleep in my life.

My sleep is not peaceful.

I dreamed of my childhood.

Running through the woods, I’m a frightened little boy, lost and searching for home.

Have I been this way already?

These trees and this brush look familiar. But all of it looks familiar. Every tree in this forest, to my young, tear-filled eyes looks the same, and my sense of smell hasn’t developed enough to help me determine the distance.

In a panic, I start to run, searching and calling and crying. My eyes are so blurry that I only realize there’s someone ahead of me when I accidentally plow into her.

In a blink, I’m sitting behind the desk of my office with a newly-graduated Cara standing before me. She’s taken the vows to be my beta, and today is her first day. She stands tall and ready, professional in every way – except in her gaze.

Those beautiful eyes look at me, so trusting and innocent, so filled with love.

“...Cara,” I whisper, longing filling my own heart.

A mournful wolf howl breaks the scene.

Suddenly, I’m standing in a hospital room, at Cara’s bedside. The slow beeping of her heart monitor assures me she is alive. But she’s pale and still in the bed.

The car accident caused a miscarriage. Our baby was gone, but Cara is still alive.

“I never want to see you again,” I hear her voice in my ear. It’s detached from her body, as she remains resting on the bed, yet I hear it clear. “It’s too much.”

“Leave me, Alaric, leave me please...”

“I want to live my own life...”

"Cara...!"

My eyes opening, I snap upright in the bed. My chest heaving, I look around, frantically searching for Cara.

But I’m no longer in the hospital. I’m in my own bedroom instead.

It was all just a dream. A horrible nightmare, reminding me of my many mistakes of the past.

If I didn’t go through with the wedding…

If I had accepted my feelings for Cara, keeping her close rather than pushing her away…

If I hadn’t driven her to run away from me…

Maybe our child would still be alive, and Cara would still be with me.

Looking back, for the life of me, I couldn’t fathom why I treated Cara with such indifference. She is the kind of woman who deserves the entire world, including a mate who loves and protects her.

Time and again, all I did was hurt her.

Even if she only wanted money from me, I should have given it willingly. I should have been happy to do so, knowing that meant my mate would stay by my side.

And our child…

Instead, I used her and then cast her aside, declaring myself married and dedicated to another.

I can’t be angry for how distant she is with me now. I can only try to atone for the actions I took that lead to that anger. That pain.

If the goddess is willing to give me a chance to make it up to her, I want to prove my love to her—I want to do everything I can to make things right.

But this is what she said to me instead.

“I want to live my own life now.”

In the coffee shop, she told me this with unwavering determination.

I can’t chase after someone who has already stepped toward the future.

…Even if I’m still trapped in the past.

So I will wait—wait for the day she’s willing to give me a chance. Until then, all I can do is suppress this desperate urge.

I rub my forehead, sit on the bed, and let out a weary sigh.

A knock on the doorframe brings my attention upwards.

John enters the room holding a small crisp envelope. “This arrived for you, Sir,” he says and passes it to me.

Flipping it over, it’s sealed and stamped with the crest of BloodyMoon. Tearing the envelope open, I retrieve an invitation.

Everything on it is handwritten, and I recognize at once Cara’s familiar handwriting. Is she taking charge of the joint celebration?

The invitation gives the time, date, and location of the joint celebration between the two packs. There’s also a note.

Due to the scale of this event, guests will enter at different times. Alphas, betas, and elders can arrive in the evening, though other guests are invited to join us in the morning to enjoy the party.

I wonder when Cara will attend.

Since she no longer works, she likely spends most of her time being idle. Therefore, likely, she would probably arrive early and enjoy the festivities all day.

“John,” I say to my beta. My eyes are still on the invitation. “Bring me a flower catalog. I want to select something for Cara and have them delivered to the celebration early.”

“At once, Sir,” John says, smiling a little. Cara is well-liked in the pack, including by John.

Gods, I was such a fool to cast her aside.

“Might I say, Sir,” John adds. “The elders have heard about your renewed pursuit of Cara, and they support this decision. They seemed quite pleased and excited talking about it.”

“Good. That’s good,” I reply. Having their support makes the formal process easier. I might be the Alpha King of the pack, but the elders hold sway. As a united front, the pack is less likely to be challenged. Cohesion helps us be strong.

The only thing I need now is my mate back at my side.

Perhaps this celebration will be enough to help convince Cara to give me another chance.