Chapter 217

Cara’s POV

Kissing Alaric was as easy as breathing, especially when, after a moment, he gently opened his mouth and accepted my waiting tongue. His hands clenched at my waist, tugging me closer as he licked along the side of my tongue with his own before chasing mine back into my mouth and deepening the kiss further.

We fell into our passion together, clinging to each other as the sparks seemed to ignite between us.

Physical attraction had never been an issue with us, and that was evident now, as we kissed, our fingers digging into each other.

Yet, before I could grow too comfortable and fully lose myself to his mouth and the feel of his hard body against mine, he broke the kiss and took a step back. With his hands remaining firm on my hips, he kept me from following him.

Hurt flashed inside of me. I couldn’t understand why he had stopped.

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” he said, as if he had no idea that by stopping like this, by always keeping me at arm distance, he was hurting me worse than if he had held me close from the start.

I had already forgiven him for his past failings. That he couldn’t forgive himself was what was separating us now. And it wasn’t fair, not to either of us, especially when there seemed to be no clear solution.

Yet I couldn’t fault him for being honest. He felt this way, and told me so. I needed to respect it.

At the same time, I had to be honest in return, just as he had been to me. That was how communication worked. We both needed to reveal our concerns and needs. That was the only way we could then grow closer.

“Do you love me?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said with no hesitation.

“Then the only way you can hurt me now is by walking away when we should be together,” I said.

His lips parted with a tiny gasp. “You want… to be together?”

“We should go slowly for both our sakes,” I said. “But yes. I want to be with you. I want us to start dating again.”

His momentary joy dimmed in the next instant. “Because of your wolf…”

“No,” I said quickly. “Yes, I want Lucy to return to me. And that might be one reason why we need to stay close physically, but it is not included in the reasons why I want to date you, Alaric.”

“Then why?”

“Because I care about you,” I said. “I want you in my life. Life is too short, and I never should have pushed you away to begin with. Being with you, being at your side… it makes me happy.”

Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine a world where I lived happily without Alaric, and I just couldn’t. We had our differences, certainly. We didn’t always see eye to eye. But he was the love of my life, of that I was certain.

We might have rejected each other, but he was always my mate in my heart.

“I don’t know how things will work in the future. I know everything is very complicated, and we don’t have it all worked out, with you being Alpha of DuskWood, and me being Beta of BloodyMoon. But I want to sort through it all somehow,” I said. “I just want to keep you in my life.”

Alaric remained somewhat nervous, maintaining his distance, even as his eyes shined with his love for me.

“Please,” I said. “Tell me we are in this together. Tell me that you aren’t backing out just because things are tough.”

“I’m not,” he said at once. He came near me again, and took my hands in his. He brought them up to his lips and kissed each of my knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere, Cara. I’m going to stay right here by your side.”

I didn’t realize how close to tears I was until he said those words and I sucked in a shaky breath.

“We’ll work it out,” he said. “The distance. My guilt. All of it. And we’ll do it together.”

Closing my eyes, I relaxed into his embrace, and fell into the comfort of him.

Eamon’s POV

There was absolutely nothing about this situation with Cara that I liked. Despite my meeting with Alaric and my brothers, we still hadn’t found any true ideas to keep Cara safe. She seemed determined to place herself in the utmost danger.

I knew she wanted to prove herself despite the illness wrecking her body, but she was pushing herself too far, in my opinion. She needed rest, not to be traipsed in front of an audience or to exhaust herself by competing in events that were likely far too physical for her.

But there was no telling her that. She was the most stubborn person I knew, as well as the most determined.

In the past, those very same qualities had helped me want to try to push for her to be made Alpha in my stead. Yet since her diagnosis, I just wasn’t sure. That was the very reason I had asked Colin to meet me in my office today.

He arrived right on time.

Entering, he sat down on one of the chairs across from my desk. As soon as my assistant closed the door to my office, he said, “I assume this is about Cara.”

Most things were, nowadays, especially between my brothers and me.

“If you want me to talk her out of the competition, it’s just not possible,” Colin said. “And trying to convince her not to do something only makes her sink her heels in more, so I wouldn’t try it if I were you.”

“I already tried it, unfortunately,” I said. And Colin had been right. In trying to keep Cara from joining the competition, I had practically shoved her into it. In the end, to keep us on good terms, I had agreed to support her, even if my worry was now overwhelming. “I didn’t call you here for that.”

“What is it then?” Colin asked.

“You will recall, in the past, I have pushed forward the idea of recommending Cara to take my place as Alpha.” I had mostly kept that a secret, close to the chest, but I had gone to Colin with the idea a few times, eager for his opinion. Despite being the youngest, he was the most sensible of my brothers.

“Yes, I recall,” Colin said, giving me a look of suspicion.

“Now is the time for me to begin that process, if I wanted to,” I said. “But I find myself hesitating…”

“You no longer think she’s capable?” Colin asked, disbelief in his voice.

“It’s not that. I know she is capable. But I worry over her health,” I said. “She is pushing herself to her limits. What if she is limiting the time she has here? Should I really push her to be Alpha when her health might be in jeopardy?”

Colin frowned. “Eamon, do you believe Cara will be able to restore her wolf?”

That was a loaded question. “I don’t want her to die.”

“Then we need to believe in her, and not just assume she will fail,” Colin said. “Our sister is strong. She will see this through. She wants to be treated as she was when she was healthy, and we must respect that.”

“But…”

“We must believe in her strength,” Colin said. “Else we are treating her like her fate is already decided.”