Chapter 202

Cara’s POV

After the day I had, I hadn’t wanted to spend the night alone. My bed was far too big, far too empty, and my mind was still reeling, replaying all the terrible events that happened at the rehearsal.

Everyone knew my secret now, it seemed. Some would undoubtedly feel pity for me, but the rest would likely write me off.

Honestly, I had no idea what to expect in the future, and that made me nervous. I liked having plans and contingencies. I didn’t even know where to begin with this.

All of those nervous thoughts were easy to push to the side at the prospect of having Alaric asleep beside me. Even now, holding his hand, my heart was racing like this was the first time.

It’d been too long since we’d been close. I wasn’t even ready to have sex, but it was the intimacy of this that had me excited.

Alaric was the only one I had ever been fully comfortable sharing this piece of myself with.

When we reach my bedroom, we stopped holding hands to climb under the covers. I rolled toward him, expecting him to curl up beside me.

To my surprise, he stayed still as a statue, flat on his back as far away from me as he could be on the mattress, while staring up at the ceiling.

“Alaric?” I asked.

“Goodnight, Cara,” he said. Reaching up, he turned off the bedside lamp, coating us in darkness.

I was confused lying there, facing him, unsure what this meant.

I’d felt like we’d been closing the distance that had stretched between us for the past two months, but now, it was like he was backing up again.

Alaric was in my bed, and there was warmth coming from his side, but as he turned his back to me, I still felt cold inside.

He’d said such kind words to me earlier. What had changed?

“Alaric…” I said. “Can we talk…?”

“Not tonight, Cara,” he said. “Just get some sleep.”

I curled up tighter and closed my eyes. His closeness was a help, as his scent filled the air. I was comforted, even if I was saddened, and sleep did find me quicker than most nights, even if my heart hurt just a little.

Alaric’s POV

As much as I wanted to hold Cara through the night, I didn’t trust myself. Not when she looked like that, not after so long apart.

In addition to my rampaging hormones, my guilt was still waging war within me. I wanted to hold her, but I didn’t feel like I deserved it. Just being near her was enough. It had to be.

Gods, I was a mess. My thoughts would not still.

Though I was comfortable on the bed, stretched out and covered fully in blankets, I found no sleep at all. Still, I kept very still so as not to disturb Cara.

At least, not until I heard her snoring lightly.

Then, slowly, I turned around, rolling on the mattress so that I could face her.

Through the dim light I could see her restful face, relaxed with sleep. Her body was curled into a small little ball which broke my heart.

I should have offered to hold her after all.

Her hand was stretched out into the space between us.

Maybe I wasn’t ready to hold her like a lover would, afraid I would never be able to let go.

But I could hold her hand.

Reaching out, I clasped her hand in mind.

Like this, I slowly drifted off, waking only once in the night to something unknown. When I did, Cara was stretched out and comfortable, her fingers laced in mine.

Relieved by the steps we were making, I felt back asleep.

Cara’s POV

The next morning, as I walked into the auditorium for the next opening ceremony rehearsal, the director called me away from the others near the stage and into her private office near the back.

I’d been here once before, when I spoke to her privately about my wolflessness. Now, like then, she closed the door behind me and gestured for me to sit down on one of the metal chairs pulled up to her cluttered desk.

I did.

There was no room for her to sit down behind it, with all of her things stacked everywhere, so she chose to stand.

“I called you in here to talk to you about some of the rumors that have been going around,” she said. “I want to make clear that I did not share what you told me in private, but news has still gotten out about your lack of a wolf. I dare to say they would have found out about it sooner or later.”

“I was hoping to find my wolf before then,” I admitted.

“Well, there’s no time for that, I’m afraid,” she said. “Unless you can call your wolf in the next five minutes, they are going to bombard you with questions.”

“I can handle the questions,” I said. At least, I hoped I could.

“It’s not just that,” the director said. “There’s been an inquiry with the commission that oversees the competition and its rules. They are calling your very inclusion into question.”

“It doesn’t say in the rules that I have to shift,” I said.

“Perhaps not,” the director said. “But it does say that you have to be a shifter. Can you be considered a werewolf without a wolf?”

The question hurt more than I was ready for. I had lost my wolf in that terrible accident, suffered without it for years, and now my very identity was being called into question?

“I’m not trying to upset you,” the director said. “And I’m not taking sides. But I thought you should hear what’s happening in a place like this, where you can privately handle it, rather in front of the rest of the group, most of which want to see you fall.”

“I didn’t do anything to them,” I said.

“You are competition,” she replied. “That’s reason enough for them to want to see you gone.”

“I am a werewolf,” I said. “I have a wolf. I know she’s there, but…” I reiterate, for her and for me, “I am a werewolf.”

“It’s not up for me to decide,” she said. “And it’s not me you have to convince.”

“Who do I have to convince then?” I asked.

“I imagine the commission, but their identities are a closely guarded secret. You aren’t in for an easy time, attempting to convince them. But who knows? Maybe they will side with you.”

That wasn’t very reassuring. “You’ve been with the competition for a while, haven’t you? What do you think they’ll say?”

“Candidly, my dear? I wouldn’t get too comfortable here. The commission generally are traditionalists. They hate change and they won’t like that you don’t have a wolf. You have a shot, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.”

She sighed.

“Well at least your empty spot on the stage won’t be hard to fill. I hate to put two massive bears together though, hmm.” She tapped her finger to her chin, then seemed to remember. “Oh. Yes. Stay here as long as you need, Ms. Auburn. I’m not sure you’ll need to learn all the steps anymore.”