Chapter 196

Noel’s POV

When Cara invited me over to talk to her, I knew that now was the time to take my shot once and for all. With the strain between Alaric and Cara that I had seen during my brief visit to her house that night, this seemed to be my only opportunity.

My plan was to hear out whatever Cara wanted to ask me, and then confess. The plan branched from there depending on what she said, but I had some hope. It wasn’t a lot of hope, guessing how she and Alaric felt about each other. But some hope remained.

I clung onto it with both hands.

Cara answered her door, smiling at me, and let me into her house. We didn’t say a word to each other, and that tension seemed to be too much.

I broke from my plan, swiveled to her right there in the hallway, and said, “Cara, I love you.”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. It was like a dam that had run over. I needed to tell her like I needed to breathe. It was a basic human need.

Her face twisted into an unreadable expression. I had the feeling like this wasn’t going to turn out well for me. If she had been happy by my words, she would have looked happy right? Yet, this attitude of hers pushed me to say more even faster. I wanted her to know the depths of my feelings before I took the next step in my plan.

“Before I met you,” I said, pouring my heart out, “I was a wandering playboy, neither looking for love or a place to settle down. I left my pack searching for adventure, not love. I didn’t even think love was in the cards for me… until I saw your face.”

“Noel…” she started.

“Please let me finish,” I said. “The moment I saw you, I knew you were my mate, but it wasn’t until I spent time with you that I realized this was love. I love you, Cara, and not just because of the bond. My feelings for you are deep and honest, built up over time. I would wait for you if you asked me to. I’ve give up my traveling life to stay at your side. I’d do anything that you need.”

Tears welled in her eyes, but they weren’t tears of joy. Perhaps I was making things difficult for her, putting her on the spot like this. I didn’t mean to… or maybe I did.

This was my only shot. I had to take it before the hole closed forever. Yet, even with it closing, I knew it probably wouldn’t matter.

Still… If it was only for one time only, she had to know the truth in my heart.

“I love you so much that I am willing to walk away from you if you asked me to,” I said.

“Would you be willing to stay my friend?” she asked.

This had been the answer I’d been expecting, and still, my heart cracked in half.

“Yes, I can do that,” I said. I hesitated then. I’d planned for this, but the next step in the plan was something I was dreading. Still, I was no coward, and I had not been lying about my feelings. My love for Cara, even one-sided as it was, gave me the strength to move forward. “I have another idea, though. Perhaps it would help awaken your wolf.”

Her eyes widened a little. From her perspective, this must have been an abrupt change in subject.

For me, this was just a step forward, a natural progression.

“What’s your idea?” Cara asked me.

Ignoring the aching in my own heart, I said, “You should reject me.”

Cara’s POV

Noel’s love confession moved me to tears. I could feel the depths of his love in each word, yet I had been utterly unable to return his feelings. My heart belonged to another, and without my wolf, I couldn’t feel the pull of the second chance bond as Noel could.

To me, he was only a friend. A dear friend, certainly, but not anyone romantic.

Hearing his words, I almost wished it could be different, that I could change my feelings. Falling for Noel would certainly be simpler than struggling through the continuing mess that was the relationship between Alaric and me.

But I loved Alaric, and I couldn’t change that. The heart wanted who it wanted, sometimes without rhyme or reason.

Yet, to hear Noel say he wanted me to reject him still threw me for a loop.

“Are you certain?” I asked. A rejection could not be undone. Alaric and I were both dealing with the fallout of that choice we’d made in the past.

His eyes were sad but sure. “You do not care for me the way I care for you,” he said. “And I can’t hope to convince you otherwise. I should be free.”

That was true. I was being selfish by holding onto his love, making him keep his bond. It was far kinder to release him. This should have been something I considered a long time ago, and I felt regret at not having done so.

“Besides,” he said, continuing before I could think of words to properly summarize my feelings. “This rejection could trigger a response from your wolf. I can’t think of a better parting gift to give to you.”

My heart burst with affection for this man. It wasn’t romantic love but that didn’t make it less palpable. He was such a dear friend, willing to sacrifice so much for me just to give me a chance.

“Maybe we should think about it,” I said. “Just for a couple of days. I don’t want you to make a hasty decision.”

“I’ve already made my choice.”

“A rejection is physically painful,” I said, remembering.

“I’m aware.”

This evening hadn’t gone to plan at all. I had wanted to ask for Noel’s help in controlling the shift, as he seemed to have such a tight grip over his own inner wolf. But that seemed inappropriate to bring up now.

Noel wanted his rejection, so I had to give it to him.

“Come into the living room,” I said. “Sit down while I get you some water.”

“I don’t need those comforts,” Noel said. He seemed sure. “Go on and reject me.”

I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to hurt him, but he deserved to be free. I cared for him, but I’d never be able to give him what he wanted from me. I could never love him the way that I loved Alaric.

“I’m sorry,” I told him, genuinely meaning it.

“I like to think that in another world, another universe, perhaps we found a way to be together,” Noel replied, making my chest ache for him once more. How I hated to hurt him!

But I was hurting him just by keeping him in limbo like this. As I knew my feelings for him would never turn romantic, it was the best thing I could do for him to cut the bond that tied him to me.

We could still be friends after. With Noel, I was certain he would want to be.

That gave me the courage I needed to speak. “Noel,” I said. I inhaled a steadying breath. “I reject you.”