Chapter 190

Cara’s POV

I tried to put the encounter with Alaric out of my mind, but it stayed with me even after I left the restaurant, and further into the week.

As an Alpha, and as my former mate, Alaric had instincts to protect me that were stronger than most and hard to ignore. When I felt dizzy, he’d moved so quickly, he likely didn’t even realize he had done it.

For the rest of our conversation, he had been supportive of me and my efforts in the competition. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so harsh on him.

But it was exhausting being treated so differently just because of my diagnosis. Sometimes it felt like everyone was acting like I was already dead, and every time they saw me, they were attending my funeral.

I was still alive, and I wanted to be treated as such. Why couldn’t my brothers and Alaric understand that?

My stubbornness kept me from apologizing outright, though I did feel the weight of guilt.

Alaric, like my brothers, only wanted to help me. I could forgive my brothers, so why was it so difficult with Alaric?

I guessed I wanted him to see me differently. With him, I wanted to be a capable partner, not a burden. My family was stuck with me regardless of my condition, but Alaric wasn’t tied to me at all anymore. If he saw me as too much of a drain on him, he could just leave me.

Perhaps, in pushing him away, I was trying to protect myself before that happened. Yet in doing so, I was only making myself more miserable.

Now, as I joined the other contenders on the stage for the rehearsal of the opening ceremony, I was still replying the moment everything went wrong in my head.

I’d been too quick to judge Alaric. Maybe I really and truly needed to sit down with him and apologize.

“Focus,” Claudia said from behind me, as she nearly toppled into me.

I hadn’t realized the rest of the group had shifted while I had stood still. “Sorry,” I said quickly and hurried to move into my new position.

The director of the event gave me a long look, but didn’t point me out. For that I was thankful. I felt incompetent enough as it was.

“Now,” the director said. “At this point, you will shift, showing the audience a view of your inner animals.”

Dread crept up inside of me. We were supposed to shift for the opening ceremony? I thought it was just the event?

“If you could shift now, that would be appreciated,” the director said. “Then we can ensure we have the spacing correct to give you enough room to shine.” She spread out her hands, her fingers splayed wide, in emphasis.

At once, everyone else on the stage began to shift, including the Claw Sisters into their large grizzly bear forms and Georgie into her panther. The rest were wolves in varying shades of white, gray, and black.

Closing my eyes, I tried to reach for my wolf. “Come on, Lucy. Please.”

Yet, as hard as I tried to reach for her, there was no answer. When I opened my eyes again, I was the only human left on stage.

The director, choreographer, and several producers, standing at the base of the stage all looked at me expectantly.

When another moment passed, and I still couldn’t shift, the director looked to her assistant expectantly. The assistant whispered in her ear.

“Cara Auburn,” the director said then, voice loud.

All of the animal eyes in the room looked at me now as well.

“Now is the time for you to shift,” the director said. “Please do not be difficult.” Under her breath, she said, “There’s one every year. An impossible diva.” Louder, she added, “I’m sure your wolf is very majestic and impressive, and you want to dazzle us all at the main event. But to dazzle requires proper planning. We need you to shift to ensure that happens.”

I could only imagine the kind of egos she was used to working with to talk like that. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could say that would make me able to shift.

Glancing around, my stomach twisted. So many people looking at me with disdain.

“Perhaps we could talk privately?” I said.

“There’s no time for that,” she said and snapped her fingers. “Shift. Now, please.”

I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t, not in front of all my competitors. For now, I had to suffer the embarrassment. After, perhaps I could talk to the director privately and clear this all up, with her at least.

The director and I stared at each other for several long moments, during which nothing else happened. No one moved an inch or spoke a word. I was convinced some people, like me, were even holding their breath.

I wanted this moment to be over more than anything. After a little while, the director shook her head and sighed, and gestured for us to continue.

After rehearsal, when everyone shifted back and were packing up to leave, I could see the contempt in my fellow contenders as they looked at me. They didn’t even try to keep their voices down as they talked about me, making it so easy for me to overhear.

“She could have just shifted,” one of them sneered. “She clearly wants the attention.”

“A diva through and through,” agreed another. “She thinks she’s better than everyone else.”

I didn’t. At all.

Keeping my head down, I grabbed my things and hurried out of the building.

Later, I sat in the hospital room while Grayson and Richard looked me over. It was time for my daily check-up, but as always, no one seemed to have any answers.

“There has to be something we can do,” I said. “I’m desperate to get Lucy back. I’ll do anything.”

Grayson and Richard exchanged a glance.

“What is it?” I asked, foolish hope building in my chest.

“We have been looking into something,” Richard admitted. “But it’s a long shot. There’s really no telling if it will have any effect.”

“Haven’t I already proven that I’m willing to try anything?” I said. For months, I’d committed to varying types of exercise and diets. They’d even injected me with a few things. I’d pushed my body to new limits, hoping to force out my wolf. Short of actually hurting myself, nothing had worked so far.

But I wasn’t giving up. If anything I was only more determined.

“We were looking into fated mates,” Grayson said. “And the benefits that they share with one another, including healing qualities.”

I stilled. “Are you saying I need to commit to a mate?” Noel was convinced he was my mate. To save myself, would I have to bind myself to him? The thought made me uncomfortable, and my thoughts shifted to Alaric.

“Not necessarily,” Grayson added. “We believe it will be enough to simply spend more time with the one who used to be your mate.”

“Alaric? But we rejected each other.”

“Even so, that bond was strong,” Grayson said. “Enough that your affections have persisted even years later.”

“I don’t understand,” I said. “What exactly are you suggesting?”

“He’s saying,” Richard clarified, “That to get Lucy back, you need to spend more time with Alaric.”