Chapter 181

Cara’s POV

“Name it,” Alaric said.

“You can’t treat me any differently once you find out the truth,” I told him. “And our current arrangement can’t change. You still need to give DuskWood pack the most attention.”

“Those are big requests you are making of me,” he said, “Before I even know what the situation is.”

“I know you,” I said. “And I know what you will want to do. I’m asking you not to, to please respect my wishes, and don’t change.” I closed my eyes. “Whatever you do, please continue to treat me the same.”

This was bothering me more than I wanted to let on. I was trying to be understanding with my brothers and Noel, who I knew were just scared about my diagnosis and worried for me. But, though I was the one with the condition, I felt like I had to bend over backwards to accommodate them.

I was the one walking on eggshells, afraid to talk about my diagnosis or how I was feeling, for fear that they would overreact. Sometimes I felt like they had the ambulance on speed-dial, just waiting for me to give them a chance to call.

“Please, Alaric. Promise me. At least say you’ll do your best,” I said.

“I’ll try, Cara.”

I supposed that was the best I could hope for.

Opening my eyes, I leaned back in my chair, and I told him the truth. I shared everything that Grayson had told me, and what I had discovered on my own. But mostly, it all boiled down to, “If I don’t find a way to bring back my wolf Lucy, my lifespan will be severely shortened.”

Alaric’s face was set in stone, hard but otherwise revealing nothing. I knew he was trying to protect me from whatever fierce wave of emotions he was feeling right now. Maybe he was trying to protect himself too.

“That’s why you’ve been so tired lately,” he said. “Your health is deteriorating.”

“Yes,” I said.

“Is it normal for this to happen so quickly?” he asked. “It’s only been six years since the accident.”

“Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time I had been involved in an accident,” I said. “When I was much younger, I was in such a bad accident that I had been put into a coma for five years.”

I didn’t like talking about that time. How, I had closed my eyes in fear only to open my eyes again five years later. To me, it had been quick as a blink. The rest of the world had moved on without me.

Lucy, my wolf, had already been injured from that incident. We both fought hard to recover for lost time. I had to learn things in a hurry, to catch up on the education I had missed in five years. Lucy had fought to regain her strength.

When the accident occurred six years ago, while I had mostly physically recovered, Lucy had likely still been healing. She’d given up everything to try to protect me and my children. I credited her with saving them. In doing so, she had completely diminished her remaining strength.

I wasn’t angry at her. How could I be? I would give up my life for my kids.

That didn’t mean I wanted to die now. But if it did happen, I would understand it. I wouldn’t be able to regret.

I tried to explain all of this to Alaric, but his face only grew more and more grim.

Alaric’s POV

As Cara continued to explain her situation and how she got there, I listened intently, retaining every word and every facial expression.

She gave nothing away to indicate that she blamed me for any of it.

But that didn’t stop me from blaming myself.

Her earlier accident had left her wolf weakened, so when the accident occurred six years ago, her wolf gave up everything she had left to protect Ethan and Mia.

The wolf shouldn’t have had to do that. The accident never should have occurred.

If I hadn’t made so many mistakes back then, none of this would have happened.

It was a kindness for Cara to not blame me, but I was in fact to blame.

Now, with her wolf gone, either dead or asleep, Cara’s own life was going to dwindle, her lifespan shortened. I might as well have signed that death warrant myself.

Guilt and self-loathing weighed down hard on me. At the same time, grief and worry rose.

I couldn’t lose Cara. Not like this. Not ever.

I could see now what Landon and Eamon were talking about in the hallway when I had inadvertently eavesdropped on them. The specialist they were discussing had been for Cara. They were as passionate about saving Cara as I felt now.

“Tell me what I can do to help,” I said to Cara now, ready to contribute in whatever way I could.

“There’s nothing to do,” Cara said. “Just hold to the promises you made me.”

Ah. Those impossible promises. How easy it had been to agree before I knew the depths of what I was agreeing to!

She wanted me to return to DuskWood during the week, to continue my commitments to my pack, but how would I ever be able to focus when my heart was here, and the days I could spend with her might be numbered?

“Maybe I should take you home,” I said. I’d planned on taking her out for breakfast or lunch, and then a walk through the park as well as some other potentially tiresome activities. Was she even able to walk that long, or would she get tired? Perhaps I could find a wheelchair to help guide her.

“Why would I want to go home?” she asked.

“I don’t want you getting too tired,” I said.

Immediately her face darkened. “You promised, Alaric. You said you wouldn’t treat me differently.”

“You get tired easily, Cara. It’s not treating you differently to be mindful of that.”

“Yes, it is!” she said, her voice rising. “You are acting just like my brothers, insisting I go home or sit down or rest. You all are acting like I’m already on the way out! I’ve only just been diagnosed!”

“I can’t speak for them,” I said. “But I know I just want you to be safe, Cara. If you push yourself too hard, you could only end up hurting yourself. And I don’t think any of us are eager to push the boundaries of this illness.”

I was still coming to terms with it myself. Half of me was in shock, the other half was trying to piece everything together. All while guilt crushed down on me.

After protecting Cara from so many people who wanted to hurt her, to lose her like this… it was too much. I wouldn’t allow it. Whatever I had to do, I would do it, even if Cara resented me for it.

“I’m not made of glass, Alaric! I can still do things!”

“But you aren’t as strong as you were either, Cara. Is it so bad to be mindful of that?”

Her bottom lip trembled, and for the first time since she started telling me the truth, I could see the growing fear in her eyes, that which she tried so hard to hide.

She blinked and it was gone.

Raising her chin in defiance, she said, “If you can’t treat me normally, then maybe you should just leave.”