Chapter 39

Iris

Arthur’s arms are warm and comforting around my body. He holds me with such ease, the curve of my waist fitting perfectly against his chest. For a moment, we just stare at each other, and he doesn’t put me down right away.

To say that I feel attraction to Arthur right now would be an understatement. As those green eyes look down at me, it feels like fireworks are lighting up beneath my skin, hot flares and sparks fizzling behind my chest.

“Arthur…”

I mutter his name without even thinking, my fingers delicately digging into his shoulders. His arms tighten around me, pulling me ever so slightly closer. Our noses almost brush just from how close we are.

I think he might kiss me. Or I might kiss him; I’m not sure which, but right now, it doesn’t matter. All I know is that I want this, maybe more than anything. I want to taste his lips on mine, feel the tender exploration of his tongue into my mouth. Hell, I want more than that. I want—

“Mommy? What are you doing?”

The sound of Miles’ voice jolts me back to reality, and I scramble free from Arthur’s arms. Surprisingly, he lets me go without a fuss.

Miles is standing in the doorway, his brow furrowed with confusion.

“We were just…” I don’t know how to answer. My cheeks turn a deep shade of red, and my mouth opens and closes a few times, working uselessly.

Suddenly, Arthur says, “Your mom almost had a fall. I caught her.”

Miles blinks, glancing between the two of us then at the ladder behind me. “Oh,” he says. “Okay.”

I look up at Arthur, feeling oddly grateful for his quick thinking. But when he looks down at me, he just seems… perturbed.

Later, after we’ve had dinner and Miles is getting ready for his bath, Arthur and I are cleaning up in the kitchen. It’s easy to slip back into our old routine without even thinking about it; he does the dishes, his sleeves pushed up to his elbows to expose his muscular forearms, and I putter around the kitchen, wiping down the counters and putting things away.

I hate how easy this is. I hate how I know exactly where everything goes. I hate that I don’t need to ask where the cleaning supplies are.

Once again, it feels as if I never left. And it feels like an extra kick in the gut after what happened earlier—the ease with which he caught me, and how easily I almost kissed him.

Suddenly, Arthur glances at me over his shoulder. “Iris,” he says, shutting off the faucet and drying his hands, “can I ask you something?”

My stomach drops as if I’m falling off the ladder all over again, but I nod stiffly. “What is it?”

He turns to face me, and there’s that look of confusion again. “Miles earlier…” He hesitates, as if struggling to find the right words. Then, taking a deep breath, he simply asks, “Have you had any lovers since we broke up?”

My eyes widen slightly, and I hesitate.

I know why he’s asking; Miles was confused earlier, seeing us almost kiss like that. I know Arthur noticed. Truthfully, it’s because Miles has actually never seen me be romantic with anyone, and it’s strange for him.

No, I never dated over the past five years. In fact, I never even considered it, as I was too busy focusing on Miles and my career to think about love. And frankly, it’s not exactly easy to think about loving anyone else when your fated mate is still out there, bound to you.

But I don’t tell Arthur that right away, because I’m not entirely sure how he’ll react.

On one hand, I almost don’t want to tell him the truth just to spite him. I want to see the jealous, angry look in his eyes when I tell him that I’ve taken lovers, maybe even many lovers, since we broke up. It would feel momentarily satisfying, to make him believe that his love wasn’t as important to me as he once thought.

But I know that spite won’t help either of us, no matter how angry I am over his actions. And besides, he’s an Alpha; they’re practically hardwired to try and hold onto what’s ‘theirs’, and hearing his fated mate say that she had other lovers might just piss him off royally.

Even if it didn’t make him do that, though, I know I have to tell him the truth. Because it’s the right thing to do.

Finally, I shake my head. “No. I never dated anyone. Miles has never seen me be romantic with a man, so it’s confusing for him.”

I almost wonder if Arthur will use this knowledge against me in some way—maybe use it as a way to convince me to get back with him, tell me that if I haven’t found someone else in five years, I never will and we should just be together.

But to my surprise, he doesn’t. Rather, he just nods and busies himself with tidying the sink area.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you had, you know,” he says calmly.

I blink, stunned. “Really?”

He shrugs. “The thought of my mate being with another man doesn’t fill me with joy. But I also know now that I hurt you, and we were broken up. You had every right to take another lover.”

Arthur pauses, then adds, “Besides, you’re a beautiful young woman. Surely you had a lot of men vying for your attention.”

I hold back a laugh. “Believe it or not, most men aren’t interested in single mothers. Especially not humans.”

Arthur doesn’t react to that, although I can see the faint tick in his jaw as if the thought pains him.

I swallow and ask, “What about you? Have you… seen anyone in the past five years?”

His eyes flick to mine, and there’s a moment of hesitation. I wonder if he’s having the same thoughts I had—trying to decide whether to tell me the truth or not.

After a few seconds, he shakes his head. “No. Selina has been my only partner. Not that it counts. We never treated our arrangement as a romantic one.”

I want to tell him that that doesn’t necessarily mean they might not have had sex—plenty of people have sex without romance involved—but I don’t. Instead, the mention of her makes me recall Augustine’s fear earlier, the way she thought I was Selina and said, “I’m not falling for your tricks again!”

Again.

As if Selina has harassed her in the past.

I still think it was just a dementia episode, but even so, Augustine’s fears had to be based in some kind of reality.

“Selina,” I say, trying my best to ignore the way the feeling of her name on my tongue makes me want to throw up, “does she visit often?”

Arthur glances at me. “You’re bothered by her visit earlier today.”

“I’m just curious, that’s all.”

He pauses, then his jaw hardens. “She visits about once a week for various reasons. Although, I wish she would visit less than that.”

With that, Arthur turns on his heel and leaves the room, his shoulders tense. I stare after him, somewhat surprised. This isn’t the first time he’s implied a dislike for Selina, and he certainly made no attempt to hide it just now.

At first, I almost feel relieved to know that he doesn’t like her. But really, it just makes me pity him in a not-so-nice way.

Is the political gain he receives from marrying into Selina’s family really more important than his own life, his own desires? Than our love? Our family?

And if he’s really willing to marry someone he so clearly dislikes just for an extra modicum of political power, then what other lengths will he go to in order to get that power?