Chapter 181

Iris

The stars hang low in the night sky, tiny diamonds scattered across a canvas of inky blackness. Below the balcony, in the distance, the fire is burning bright in the brazier. Dark forms sway and move around it, people dancing and mingling and laughing.

Are they laughing at us? At me? At my public humiliation?

Or have they forgotten already, because our personal lives are nothing but a temporary entertainment? Something to be chewed up and spat out?

I press my hands against the cold stone railing, gripping it so tightly my knuckles turn white. If I could just stay out here forever, never go back inside, never face any of them again…

“Iris.”

I don’t turn around, but I don’t have to, because I know it’s Arthur. His scent reaches me first, and for a moment, I hate that I can recognize him so easily. That he’s imprinted on me so completely.

“Go back inside,” I grind out. “Veronica needs you.”

His footsteps draw nearer until he’s standing beside me, his large form blocking the moonlight. “I’m not leaving you. And I wanted to explain.”

“What’s there to explain?” I laugh bitterly, still refusing to look at him. He may have wiped off her lipstick, but I know the remnants of that crimson red are still lining his mouth. “Your mate kissed you. In front of everyone. And your eyes…” I swallow hard, remembering the glow all too well.

That glow was supposed to be reserved for me.

“It wasn’t my choice,” Arthur says. “She kissed me before I could react. I didn’t want it to happen, Iris. You have to believe me.”

“But your wolf did,” I counter. “I saw it in your eyes.”

He’s silent for a moment, and I finally glance his way. His jaw is tense, his green eyes haunted. “I won’t deny my wolf reacted,” he admits quietly. “But that doesn’t mean I wanted it. And it doesn’t mean I’ll let it happen again.”

I shake my head and step away from him. “This is just going to keep happening. She’s your second mate. Your wolf craves her. And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“You’re my mate too,” he insists, closing the distance between us. “My first. The one I’ve marked. You’re mine.”

“But are you mine?” I blurt out.

He freezes, his mouth working uselessly. I let out another little laugh, although it has no humor in it. “Maybe you’re meant to be with her. With someone who can provide you with the level of connection that only two wolves can feel.”

Arthur’s face falls. “Is that what this is about? You not having a wolf?”

I wrap my arms around myself. “Don’t act like my lack of a wolf hasn’t made our connection weaker. It’s more intense with her, isn’t it? Your wolves recognize each other. We… couldn’t possibly feel the same way.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Arthur growls, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders. “I love you, Iris. Not her. You.”

Before I can respond, he dips his head, trying to kiss me—trying to prove his point, I suppose. But I place my hand on his chest and gently push him back, even though I want nothing more than to kiss him.

He steps back as if I’ve burned him. “Iris, please—”

“I’m tired of the excuses, Arthur,” I cut him off. “I’m tired of the confusion. I’m tired of feeling like I’m constantly fighting for a place in your life.”

“You don’t have to fight,” he insists. “Your place is secure. It always has been.”

I shake my head again. “No, it’s not. It wasn’t before when Selina was around, and it’s not now. Not while she’s still bound to you. Not while your wolf still responds to her.”

A chilly breeze rustles through the garden below, carrying with it the faint scent of the smoke from the bonfire. The scent matches the way I feel inside: burning up.

“Arthur,” I finally say, lifting my gaze to meet his, “you need to make a choice. Either reject her, or…” My voice breaks, and I have to clear my throat before continuing. “Or reject me. You can’t have both of us.”

His eyes widen. “Iris—”

“Until you make that decision,” I go on, “I can’t be with you. I’ll stay with my parents until things are figured out.”

Arthur’s face falls, but after a moment, he surprises me. “No. Stay in the apartment,” he says softly. “It’s your home too. Miles shouldn’t have to be uprooted again, and you’ll be closer to his school. I’ll stay in a hotel.”

I blink, caught off guard by his offer. “You’d… do that?”

“I’m not going to let my mate and son leave when it’s me who’s the problem.” He reaches for my hands, gripping them tightly—too tightly for me to pull away this time. “What matters is that I’m going to fix this, Iris. I swear it. I’m going to unbind myself from Veronica, whatever it takes.”

His intensity startles me, and I find myself unable to look away. When his green eyes catch the flickering light of the flame below, it’s even more intoxicating. I know he’s being serious, and somehow, that breaks my heart even more.

To know that he wants to make things right, but might not be able to choose me in the end if his wolf refuses to break his bond with Veronica…

“There’s something else you should know,” he continues, his voice dropping lower. “I’ve been having an engagement ring made for you.”

My breath comes out in a short exhale. “What?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Arthur admits. “But I can’t hold it in anymore. I’ve been planning to propose for weeks now.”

The revelation stuns me. All this time, while I’ve been worrying about Veronica, about my public image, about whether I’m fit to be Luna—he’s been planning to propose?

“I swear to you,” Arthur says, his eyes burning into mine, “once I unbind myself from Veronica, I’m going to give you that ring, Iris. I’m going to make you my wife, my Luna, in every possible way.”

The sincerity in his voice and the desperation in his grip make my heart ache. For a moment—just a moment—I let myself imagine it. A life where Arthur is truly, completely mine.

It’s a beautiful dream. But that’s all it is right now—a dream.

“I want to believe you,” I whisper, and I mean it. Goddess, I want to believe him more than anything.

He steps closer, cupping my face in his hands. “Then believe me. Trust me. I’ll find a way to break this bond with her, I promise.”

There’s a flicker of hope in my chest like a candle flame in a storm. I want to protect it, nurture it, but I can’t let myself be consumed by it yet. Not until I’m certain.

“I’ll try,” I say, reaching up to place my hand over his. “But I can’t make any promises until I know it’s possible.”

Arthur nods, understanding. Leaning in, I press a soft kiss to his cheek, but nothing more than that.

“I love you,” I tell him. “That’s never been the problem.”

He starts to say something, but I’m already pulling away, moving past him toward the door. “I should go home,” I say. “I can’t bear to go back down there, not when they’re probably all giddy over my humiliation.”

“Iris,” he calls after me. “I won’t fail you this time. I swear it.”

I pause, my hand on the doorknob, but I don’t turn back. “Goodnight, Arthur.”

Emi takes me home after that. Her eyes meet mine occasionally in the rearview mirror, but she doesn’t ask any questions. I’m grateful for her quiet nature.

By the time I reach the apartment, it’s well past midnight. Miles is staying with my parents, so it’s just me here.

In the bedroom—our bedroom—I slip out of my gown, letting the burnt orange silk pool at my feet. I remove Nora’s necklace and place it carefully on the vanity, noting with a pang of guilt that the missing sapphire still hasn’t been found.

I don’t bother with pajamas, just slide between the cool sheets in my underwear. Arthur’s scent still covers his pillow, and without thinking, I pull it close and bury my face in it.

Surprisingly, tonight, there are no tears. Just a hollow ache in my chest.

I don’t have any dreams, either. No images of crimson serpents or invisible hands pulling me beneath an ocean of blood—maybe because the hands have already pulled me below the surface, engulfing me completely.

I can’t decide if I’m comforted by that sensation or not.