Chapter 111

Liam’s POV

That weekend, I stuck to my promise and took Joe and William Christmas shopping. This time of year, the stores were incredibly busy, so I held hands with both Joe and William as we perused the store, looking for the kids’ perfect gifts for Aria.

As we walked along a shopping plaza, we ducked into one of the less busy stores. This store was filled with handmade knick-knacks and toys. I hadn’t seen it before, so it must have been a pop-up for the holiday. It was the perfect store to pick out a gift; everything was very festive and unique.

Joe dragged me towards the snow globes, with William following along begrudgingly.

“I want to look at the cat figures,” William whined.

“We’ll look at those next,” I told William, trying to keep the peace.

When we reached the glass case filled with snow globes, I released both kids’ hands so they could properly look, though I kept an eye on both of them so they wouldn’t venture off too far on their own.

Joe looked closely at each shelf of snow globes. They had all kinds of them, from Christmas themed, to those with animals, and even some with popular cartoon and film characters.

William, on the other side of me, was looking at the shelves behind us, where some plush animals had been stacked. He picked up a skinny snowman and inspected its long stick arms.

“Dad,” Joe said.

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“Why aren’t you and Mom a couple?” he asked.

Somewhat startled, I looked back at him. “We’re a family, Joe. You don’t have to worry –”

“I know she’s my mom and you are my dad and William is my brother,” Joe said. “I know we’re a family. But why aren’t you and mom together? Like other parents are?”

“I love your mom,” I said.

“I know,” Joe replied.

“But her feelings are more complicated,” I said, trying to explain it delicately.

“She doesn’t love you?” Joe asked.

“I don’t know if she does,” I admitted, even though the words sliced through my heart like a knife through my chest.

Once, I had been absolutely positive of her love. But then, I pushed her away, neglecting that love and our relationship. I wouldn’t be shocked if she had fallen out of love with me in that time. Maybe those feelings were still gone, despite my best efforts to rekindle them.

I didn’t want to believe that though. I couldn’t. Not with how eagerly she accepted my own love confession and my offer to live together. After, she had made clear that her willingness to move in was solely in attempt to help build a father-son relationship with Joe.

But in the moment…

In that moment, right after I told her I loved her, I swore there had been more.

“Your mom and I used to be together like other parents are,” I explained. “But I made a lot of mistakes back then. I said mean things and was distant. I pushed her away so much that she finally left. Now that we are mending things, she has a right to be cautious.”

Joe listened to my words with a critical expression, then after a moment’s pause to think, said, “I think she loves you.”

“You do?” I asked, hope rising in my chest.

Joe nodded.

“How can you tell?”

“Sometimes, after a nightmare, she lets me stay in her room the rest of the night,” Joe said. “And sometimes on those nights, she says your name in her sleep. I checked last time. She was sleeping. She must have been dreaming about you. So she must love you.”

That was sound logic to a six-year-old, but as an adult, I needed more context. Was she smiling or frowning? How was the name said? Was she scolding me, or was it something else?

I couldn’t exactly interrogate Joe over this. He was already putting himself in potential trouble for sharing this much. I wouldn’t ask more.

But the thought stayed in my head. Aria, curled up in her blankets, face half-pressed into her pillow, whispering my name in her sleep.

What a pleasant, beautiful thought.

Almost as beautiful as Aria looked standing beside the Christmas tree, right after we had hung up the ornament with our wedding anniversary on it.

I was so glad that I remembered that box of ornaments was still up in the attic, right when I had needed them the most.

There were many memories and mementos tucked away upstairs. I could only hope that Aria didn’t go searching too much or she’d find many relics of our past.

Truth known, I never really got rid of anything from our time together. Even furniture that was too worn, I dragged up into the attic, thinking I might reupholster someday though never really wanting to destroy the memories of the fabric already there.

They’d been all I had left of Aria at the time. Those few precious fragments of a fractured life together.

Now that I had Aria back in my life, it didn’t feel as important to keep some of those things. The worn furniture, for one, could probably go to the dump.

“I like this one,” Joe said, pointing to a snow globe near the front that had a snowman inside of it. The snowman had two smaller snowmen beside it – snow-kids?

“For your mom?” he asked.

“It will remind her of us,” Joe said. “That big one is you. And I’m this one. And that one is William.”

Ah, I could see it now, with him describing. I wasn’t sure what differentiated his snowkid from William’s, but whatever Joe wanted was how it would be.

“Let’s get that one, then,” I said. Standing straighter, I searched around for an associate who could help us open the cabinet. As I did so, I checked in on William, still looking at the plush animals. “How you doing, William? Any luck?”

“I think this one…” William held up a pink teddy bear with heart-shaped button eyes and a flower stitched on the tummy. “It’s soft… Like her hugs.”

I touched the arm of the bear and felt the softness of the fur and the stuffing.

He wasn’t wrong.

“Okay, great. We’ll get the bear and the globe.”

After waving down an associate, she opened the cabinet and retrieved the globe.

We paid and left the store, holding hands once more.

“What are you going to get Mom, Dad?” Joe asked, as William eyed up the nearby candy store.

“I have a different kind of present in mind,” I said. “But you both have to be really good in the store, okay? If you are, I’ll buy you some candy.”

“I’ll be good!” William said at once.

“Me, too!” Joe added.

I knew the kids were getting tired, which usually led to crankiness. Bribery was the only way to maintain the peace this late in the game.

With a reward promised, I led the kids to the store I had in mind.

It was a dress shop filled to the brim with wedding dresses. Even the mannequins were dressed in the finest white satins and laces, with pearls and sequins galore.

It was perfect, the best store to find what I needed for Aria.