Chapter 79

Fiona

Would he… could he forgive me? I’ve nearly gotten him killed. That’s not something that most people could get over easily no matter who they are.

It’s not the first time, either.

There have been several times since we met where Ethan saved me. Some of the times were deadly while others were not, but each one counted. Each instance showed me that Ethan is trustworthy, unlike many other people in my life.

It doesn’t matter that our relationship started off rocky, with promises of intimacy without commitment, but now, it’s different. I can’t imagine Ethan being the same man I’d made the agreement with. There’s been so much that’s happened with my family and my personal life since we signed the contract, and he’s been there through all of it.

Ethan promised to be there for me, and my heart warms as he stares at me with those piercing eyes.

He shifts and leans forward, wincing. The pained expression is gone within a second, but I caught it.

“Did you get hurt in the fire?” I ask, curious.

Ethan’s brows rise to his hairline, and he shakes his head, stopping when I narrow my eyes on him. I don’t believe him. I know he’s hurt, but he doesn’t want to admit it. If he doesn’t want to admit it, does that mean Ethan doesn’t trust me anymore?

It would be my own fault, I guess. I turned him away more than once without listening to what he had to say. If he wants, he could ignore me like I did him.

“Did you?” I repeat the question, needing an answer. Somehow, I’ll repay him for what he’s done, especially if he’s hurt because of me.

“I may have hurt my back, but it’ll be fine tomorrow like the doctor said and—”

Tears fill my eyes as guilt eats at me. He really did get hurt for me, and that fact makes me want to hug him, but I hold back. I don’t know how our relationship is right now since I’ve ignored him.

“Let me see,” I order, putting my hand on his shoulder and gently pulling him closer. He moves with my guidance, and with an apologetic look, I curl my fingers in the hem of his shirt and lift it up.

His back is covered in a layer of gauze, and when I peel back the corner, Ethan doesn’t protest or stop me. I swallow the thick feeling in my throat. Red, blistered skin spans the top and mid sections of his back and across his shoulders. It looks like something must have fallen on him, or…

“Did something fall on you?”

My hand hovers over the burns, but I don’t touch them. I don’t want him to hurt more than he already does, so I pull my hand back and carefully reapply his bandage.

“When I finally found you, I carried you outside,” he says, carefully sitting back. The cringe of pain that flashes across his face would be easy to miss if I wasn’t paying attention, but his next words keep my full attention. “The house, well, the fire was so large that something inside exploded. Debris flew and—”

“And you got hit by something.”

This was your fault, Fiona.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, trying to push back the guilt. It eats at me like a flesh-eating parasite, spreading through my entire body until I almost become numb. Except I don’t. I feel every bit of the heaviness that weighs on me. I’ve never wanted anyone, especially someone I care about, to get hurt for me.

“It wasn’t your fault, Fiona.”

“But it was. You got hurt because I—”

“Because of nothing. Did you set your house on fire?” Ethan asks.

I shake my head no.

“Did you throw burning wreckage at me?”

I shake my head again, “No, but I—”

Fingers wrap gently around my chin, lifting my head. Our eyes connect

My nerves grow shakier and shakier, and I clutch at the hem of the t-shirt I’m wearing. How much time would be too much time?

I look at Ethan and sigh.

“I might need more time to fully accept all of this,” I tell him, waving my arms around before motioning to him. “This is a huge secret and something that never would have possible in my mind. If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I would’ve thought you were crazy.”

Ethan nods, slipping his hand into mine again.

“You can have as much time as you need, Fiona. I told you that,” Ethan says, squeezing my hand.

“Thank you,” I murmur, my eyes falling to his hands as I study them. They’re paler than usual, but his grip is steady, not weak like it looks like it should be. They’re so much larger than mine, fully closing mine in. It would be so easy for him to hurt me with the size difference between us, but he hasn’t.

He won’t. I want to believe that so much that my next words come out as a faint whisper, “I just don’t want to get hurt.”

By him or his wolf. Though, I don’t say that part out loud.

The confession makes Ethan suck in a deep breath, but I keep my eyes down. I don’t think I can handle another relationship ending so badly, but I also don’t think I could handle being injured by a wolf.

Those claws and teeth were killer. Literally.

I’d seen what Ethan could do in his wolf form, and it wasn’t pretty. Nothing could prepare me for that kind of injury except running from it. Prevention is the best practice in keeping yourself from harm.

“We won’t hurt you, Fiona, but I know words won’t really convince you…” he pauses. “Can you look at me, please?”

Taking a deep breath, I do as he asks and lift my eyes. He leans forward again, studying my face. I can only guess what he sees there; fear, worry, doubt. If Ethan sees anything else, he doesn’t let on. He merely stays silent as he scoots to the edge of the bed and then slides to his knees in front of me.

Confused, I let out a small squeak.

“I understand you’re scared. What can I do to help you understand or not feel afraid of me?” He asks, and the sincerity in his voice makes my heart ache. How could I turn him down when he’s so genuine in his want to help me?

If anyone had told me a month ago that I’d be in this situation, I would’ve laughed, but now, sitting here and staring down at Ethan, it’s all so strange. He’s on his knees before me, patiently waiting for me to ask for his help or to tell him what I need.

Honestly, I don’t know what I need, but simply the fact that he wants to offer anything he can touches my heart.

“Well, could you- can I see your wolf?” I ask, gripping his hand tighter. “I think if I could see he’s not going to hurt me, then…”

“Are you sure?”

“Is it a bad idea?” I question, tilting my head to the side. A hint of fear fills me at his hesitation. Was it the wrong thing to ask? I just figured that if I met the animal, it could help me, but if he’s hesitating, it may not be the best idea.

He watches me carefully, tilting his head to mirror mine. The small movement pulls a little smile from me. It’s cute, which is a funny way to describe the handsome man in front of me.

“I think it’s a great idea, Fiona.”

I smile through the slight fear filling me at the thought of seeing the large wolf again.