Chapter 165

Ethan

My face stings, and everything disappears except for my mate.

The mate I haven’t seen in almost three days since she locked herself in her room. The mate who yelled at me to leave her alone a minute ago.

My mate who is screaming at me.

“You have no right to keep me locked up here, Ethan!” She cries. “I haven’t done anything to warrant being trapped. I’m not a princess and you’re not a dragon. You can’t keep me here! I want to leave. I want to have my freedom. Is there something wrong with that?”

Her arms are thrown wide at her sides, and I take in her pale skin and sickly frame.

“Don’t ignore me, Ethan!” She screams, eyes filling with tears. “I’m not yours to keep. If I want to be free, I should be able to walk right out that door. You don’t get to say I’m your mate and expect me to accept the fact that you think you have some kind of wolfy claim over me. Not going to happen!”

Was she this skinny three days ago?

“I’m going crazy here. I’m sick and I can’t get better because you’re selfish enough to try to keep me captive like some kind of twisted caveman. Newsflash, this isn’t a fairy tale and you’re not a prince. Honestly, I’ve been thinking of you more like a villain lately, and do you know why that is?” She shouts, shoving at my shoulder. It does nothing, but I can’t focus on that now.

There are dark bags under her eyes. Dark bags that make me wonder if she’s slept any in the past three days.

“It’s because you’re vile,” she hisses. “I want nothing more than to get away from you because you have no idea how to treat me, mate or not.”

Zev whines in my mind as the tightening in my chest grows. The mate bond strains, fraying bit by bit as she yells at me.

“DO NOT IGNORE ME, YOU BASTARD!”

Reaching forward, I gently grab her by her shoulders, pull her to my chest, and wrap my arms around her. She’s right. I’ve treated her awfully, and any Lycan would he horrified to see how I’ve been treating my mate.

The Goddess blessed me with a mate, and I’ve ruined everything.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whisper, burying my face in her hair. Fiona’s entire body locks up, going tense as I breathe in the scent of her overwhelming distress, deep terror, and bright hot anger. “I’m leaving tomorrow, going to prepare for the Challenges. I don’t know… this is my fault, and there aren’t enough apologies in the world to change what I’ve done,” I murmur.

And she breaks.

Body shaking sobs tear through her body, and her legs buckle. I catch Fiona as the last of her strength leaves her body and slide my arms under her back and legs. She wails, beating weak fists against my chest, and I let her while replaying every insult and word she spit at me.

I let them sink in and coat me, reminding myself of how awful I’ve been and of the wrongs I’ve committed against her. There’s no chance now for me to make it up to her, so if I come back from these Challenges, I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.

“I don’t care if you’re sorry, you asshole!” She screeches, pushing away from me. I don’t release her, though. I make sure she’s carefully sitting on the couch before letting go. “Stop treating me like an object! I don’t want to be anywhere near you!”

The tears streaming down her cheeks tug on the mating bond, sending waves of pain tearing through me. My legs give out, sending me to my knees, as I realize just how hurt she is for me to feel it in the bond we never finalized.

“Are you trying to kill me?” She asks, sniffling and wiping at her red eyes. “I feel suffocated and nauseous. I’m so stressed that I’ve become sick to the point that medicine isn’t helping. Is this what you wanted? To chip away at my soul and my body until I’m nothing more than a shell of who I used to be, because if you don’t let me leave, that’s exactly what will happen.

Fire burns my insides, making me gasp. I shake my head, reaching for her, trying to do something, anything, to help her feel better, but she jerks away, jumping to her feet.

“Don’t touch me!”

She wobbles on her feet, still too weak to hold herself up, and I can’t help but reach out for her again.

“Be careful,” I say, my voice coming out in a broken rasp. She doesn’t notice though because she bares her teeth at me, making both me and Zev shrink back.

Everything tilts as I realize I only have one choice here. The one choice I didn’t want to make. The one choice that will free her but will rip my heart to pieces, but… I look up at her again, taking in her pale skin, her frail figure, and the broken expression on her face.

I don’t have any other choice. It’s what I should’ve done in the first place. The slight sway of her body tells me she’s still unsteady. I did this to her. I turned her into a ghost of herself and made her sick.

I hurt her.

“Do you have a way to get home?” I ask, and Fiona freezes. Her eyes widen, and her arms drop to her sides.

“Isla came to get me,” she whispers. The hopeful light that brightens her eyes pierces my heart like a dagger, and I know I have to let her go.

The pain in my chest grows, and it takes all my willpower to keep from clutching at my heart. It won’t go away. Not after today.

Not after she leaves.

Every emotion she feels assaults me all at once.

The bright, sweet smell of happiness.

The dense, sour smell of anxiety.

The heavy, wet smell of sadness.

The sharp, hot smell of anger.

The bitter, smoky smell of suspicion.

They mix together, and I watch as Fiona’s eyes bounce from me to the door and back again, and I let my head drop forward. I should’ve found another way to change her mind, I realize, as she turns and stumbles over to the door. She fumbles to open the large door, and as soon as it’s open, she darts out, disappearing from my view.

I never should have hurt her like this because she’s gone.

I’ve truly lost her.