Chapter 159

Fiona

I stare at Ethan, trying to process what he’d just said.

“Playing it safe? What about our relationship has ever been safe, Ethan?” He opens his mouth to answer, but I raise a hand to stop him. “You know what, no. That’s not fair. I’m just a human and can’t understand everything going on in your wolfy world—”

“That’s not what I meant, Fiona,” he says on a sigh. His fingers drag their way through his hair, tugging on the ends. “I didn’t want you to get hurt, so I kept you secret. I admit it wasn’t the smartest choice, but I thought it was the best choice at the time.”

I nod, turning my eyes to the floor.

“The best choice…” I mutter, “Well, it wasn’t, Ethan. I feel like you left me behind, and now you’ve announced to everyone that I’m your girlfriend. That isn’t thinking of my choices, Ethan. You didn’t give me a choice. I can’t be in a relationship where you make all the decisions while I’m left alone and in the dark.”

The heavy disappointment and sadness that have been hanging over my head settle on my shoulders, making me feel weighed down. I lean on the wall and take a deep breath.

Ethan steps forward, his feet coming into my view. I don’t look up, though, until his hands gently wrap around my wrists and slide down to link with my hands. The familiar tingle that’s always there when he touches me flares to life, warming me and making me want to lean in.

I don’t. Instead, I pull back.

“I meant what I said in my message, Ethan.”

“I know you feel this too, Fiona. The spark between us is real. It’s there because we’re mates—”

“Is that all there is between us? A mating bond? If so, then I don’t want to be corralled into a relationship just for that reason especially after you made me feel so happy when I thought we were falling for each other,” I tell him, crossing my arms back over my chest. I don’t want him to try to touch me again, so I move further away and to the side so I’m not against the wall again.

I can’t think straight when he touches me, so moving away would be the best way to keep from falling under his spell again.

A rumble rolls through the air between me and Ethan as he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“It wasn’t just the mate bond. I want you because I like you, Fiona. You’re a kind, strong, and amazing woman who is incredibly resilient—”

“Don’t you get it?” I shout, whirling on him. “You left. You went with her- to her- and now you’re saying that you were thinking of me the entire time? If you’d been thinking of me, I wouldn’t have been wallowing in self-hatred, sadness, and the miserable feeling of being abandoned again.”

Ethan’s eyes soften, his jaw clenches, and his brows furrow.

“I’m sorry—”

“Are you, because it happened over and over again, Ethan,” I say, sighing and then choking out a frustrated laugh. “I was attacked by Angela, physical and emotionally attacked by strangers, and cornered by more than one man who wanted sex from me and not in a fun way—”

“Who?” Ethan growls, stepping into my space.

Shaking my head, I shove Ethan’s shoulder, doing my best growl right back at him, “You don’t get to make demands right now since this is all your fault.”

Ethan blinks, his expression slightly confused, and I tell myself it isn’t cute. He isn’t cute right now.

“You made me feel alone and unsafe, which should have never happened because you knew how Jack made me feel. I shouldn’t have had to go through something similar like that again,” I tell him, trying to forget about the very few similarities between my two relationships. There aren’t many, but both relationships have left me with a hole in my heart.

There’s nothing good about having two men, who you thought loved you, betray you.

“I’ve apologized, and I’ll apologize a million more times if it stops you from hating me, Fiona. I don’t want to keep you at a distance anymore,” he all but pleads. The serious tone claws at my insides, and I wish I could just walk away.

Something inside keeps me from leaving, though.

And that something is anger. Anger for how he’s treated me and for how he hasn’t protected me like he promised. If he had, Angela would’ve been punished by now. It’s why I can’t leave. I have to know what he’s thinking before I make my final decision.

Stepping forward, I make sure Ethan’s full attention is on me before asking, “Are you going to do anything about Angela? No apology will be good enough if there is no punishment for the main aggressor between us.”

“During my last trip home, I spoke with the Elders of my Pack and with the Midnight Pack,” he whispers, his green eyes boring into mine. “I explained how she hurt you and how she crossed a line with our relationship, stating that our parents’ desires to have us mate was not grounds for her to try to kill you. I brought Angela’s parents into the meeting as well, and I officially stated I will not be mating anyone other than you.”

Surprise as well as a bit of pleasure fill me at his words. I didn’t think he’d done anything about Angela from what Ryan said.

“What did they say in response?” The words slip out before I can stop them, my curiosity getting the better of me. I don’t stop Ethan when he reaches out and cups the backs of my elbows.

“They decided she will be punished for not only hurting you, but they would pay for any bills that require payment. I told them that wasn’t necessary, and we discussed that Angela will be moved back to the West—”

“When?”

Ethan pauses and blinks at me again before answering, “Immediately. She should be gone by the end of the week. Then, when she returns home, she is no longer allowed on my pack lands, and if you are to ever come over, she is not to come within seventy-five feet of you.”

“But is she going to jail?” I ask, not seeing much punishment in what he’s said so far.

“That is still being discussed. I left before the hearing was finished because I came back to find you after getting your message,” he says, and I’m hit with another weight of disappointment. The only reason they’re punishing her at all is probably because Ethan made them, so now what are they going to do with him gone?

Will sending her back home really be enough? It doesn’t seem like much of a punishment, and I doubt Angela’s family will discipline her.

“I left my Elders in charge with specific instructions to have Angela punished to the full extent of the law for attempted murder,” Ethan says, which makes me look up again.

“But is it going to happen?”

“They’ll do their best to make it happen,” he answers with a nod. I didn’t realize I’d looked away, and when our eyes connect, I get an overwhelming feeling of disappointment. There’s more to their Lycan world than I can understand, and as I think about it, I realize there isn’t anything I can do to be accepted into Ethan’s life.

Sighing, I close my eyes.

My choice is clear. Ethan and I can’t stay together.