Chapter 154

Zev

I push forward, not believing what Ethan just read and force myself to focus on the words.

Fiona: I can’t keep doing this. I thought our time together meant something to you, but I was wrong. I fell for the stories and the promises. The idea of perfect matches was too much to pass up, but now I’m not sure, Ethan. A relationship without trust is a broken one, and that’s what we have. You say we’re meant to be together, but you won’t share anything with me. I don’t care if I can’t always help. I want to be with someone who will share their burdens, not push me aside to wait for you to take care of them.

I don’t know a lot about your world, but is that my fault? No. You could have told me more, could have helped me understand; instead, you pushed me away, let me get hurt, and did nothing to help me understand. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t look after their partner. I went through that once, and now, to protect myself, I won’t put myself through it again.

I’m sorry. I wanted to be with you, but now, I think we should end things. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t treat me like an equal, and with you, a lot of times, I feel like a pawn being shoved around and moved wherever it’s easiest to keep me in the dark.

So, I am terminating our contract and our relationship. Don’t call. Don’t text. I don’t know if I will be here when you return. If not, do not look for me.

Our relationship is over.

Ethan and I read the message over and over, hoping for some sign of falsehood, but there is nothing. My chest tightens painfully, and I try to paw at the uncomfortable, stabbing feeling. It tears at my insides, making me gasp for air.

Reaching deep within, I feel for the mate bond, but come up empty. There’s never been a bond because we never mated, so all I can feel is love and yearning now tearing my heart to shreds.

I can’t feel her response like mated couples are able to.

Ethan, for what it’s worth, tries to hold me back, but the pain and the realization that we’re losing our mate has me bursting forth and howling in agony. I release a long, low cry, but it doesn’t ease the hurt in my chest. In fact, the pain becomes heavier.

My paws hit the ground, unsteady, but I don’t pay them any attention. I run.

I push myself, ignoring everything around me, until my body, my legs, and even my mind go numb. The pulsing ache in my chest never subsides, but everything else fades away, turning into a blur around me as I run toward my mate.

“Stop, Zev… Zev! We can’t… there’s no way… get back to her… this isn’t… not this way!” Ethan’s voice flickers in and out of my mind in choppy bursts. My paws pound into the ground, taking me East as far as I can run, but it’s not enough. It would never be enough, I realize as I skid to a stop just before my paws touch the sea.

Foamy water rolls over sand, coming within inches of my front paws. My body heaves and shakes as I stand there panting for air and desperately sucking in the salty breeze while looking up and down the shoreline.

The great water shines bright and blue and sends a chill through my body when I step one paw into it.

I can’t swim there.

It’s too far.

There’s no way back.

She’s gone.

“Zev!” Ethan’s voice rocks my mind, making me shake my head from the loud shout.

“What?!” I snarl, unable to stop the whine that follows the words as the ache in my chest grows. I growl, wishing I could swipe my claws across his stupid human face. “This is your fault, human! If you’d just listened and told her everything, we wouldn’t—

“I know!” The painfully strained tone in his voice reminds me that I’m not the only one who just lost their mate.

My little mate’s pretty brown eyes flicker through my mind, and I claw at the ground as I sit at the edge of the water. She shouldn’t be alone, and we shouldn’t be halfway around the Goddess-forsaken world without her.

The sun sinks closer to the horizon, and an unfamiliar howl sounds somewhere behind me. The great water is nowhere near our land, I realize as I look at it. There’s a good two-hundred miles between Silverclaw Pack lands and the ocean, but I can’t find it in myself to care that I’m on unfamiliar land.

Water sloshes against the sand beneath my paws, wetting them and making them sting. My body still shakes from the run, and soon, I’m sinking to my belly in exhaustion.

Would she be waiting for us?

No. Her message said she was finished with us, that she wanted to end our relationship.

“We’ll fix it when we get back,” Ethan says softly. My claws extend, and I rake them through the sand, irritating the raw pads on the bottoms of my paws.

“Will we?” I snap, still looking toward the East as the sunlight begins to disappear. “Your version of fixing things hasn’t worked out well so far, human.”

Ethan’s anger mixes with the ache in my chest. Instead of responding, I shut him out. I push him to the dark corners of my mind and lick at my raw paws. I have to think of a way to keep my mate from leaving. If I show that her we love her and want her, she will stay.

I just have to find a way, but what do females like?

Human males seem to think taking flowers to their females is a good choice, but silly little plants don’t feel like a good choice. They die and sometimes smell weird.

I could explain everything and tell my mate that she’s the only one for me, though, Ethan already tried that and it didn’t work. Would it be different if I said it?

Maybe, but she would probably think it’s too late.

Rustling behind me perks my ears up, and I turn to watch as a little squirrel darts out of the tree line a mile back. My instincts to hunt flare to life, but I hold back as an idea comes to mind. Females love when you provide for them, so I could give her a gift or hunt her a squirrel.

Females like when their males hunt food for them, right?

Though, Fiona is human. Would she appreciate a hunted meal?

Turning back to the water, I lay my head on my paws and think. Maybe she would not want a dead squirrel as a gift, but I won’t give up until I find a way to change her mind.

Human mating practices are different than wolf ones, so I’ll need to think harder, especially since my human half doesn’t seem to be doing what even other Lycans or humans do to court their females. Either way, I won’t stop until I force my foolish human to stop pushing our mate away.

Sighing, I watch as the sun finally fully disappears from view.

Something presses on my mind, so I open my links again, and our Beta’s voice filters into my head.

“Alpha?”

“What is it?” I ask, pushing myself up to sit again.

“We need to figure out a way to deal with Angela because she’s growing bolder. I found her pinning Fiona against the wall just now, looking like she was going to hurt her.”

I’m on my feet in seconds, growling. Ethan’s fury blends with mine as he becomes alert as well.

“We’re coming, Ryan. Watch over Fiona until I get back and don’t let Angela near her. I’m coming,” I growl, turn, and scan my eyes over the land, sniffing for a way home.

“She’s angry, and I can tell she’s sad even though she doesn’t want to show it. I… there might not be much to come back to, though, Alpha,” Ryan says.

“Why not?” Ethan asks as I bark. “What do you mean?”

“She isn’t staying at the house. She’s been staying with her friend since you left.”

Again, a growl rips through my body as I send an accusatory thought toward Ethan.

“I’m coming. Keep her safe.”

With that order, I take off running in the direction of my pack and in the direction of the vehicles that can get me back to my mate.

I will fix this and keep my mate safe.