Chapter 179

Joseph’s POV

“Hi, this is Tessa. State the reason you’re calling and maybe I will call back. Maybe I won’t.”

“Record your message after the beep—”

Click.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket and ran my fingers through my hair. What did Tessa’s text even mean? Was she drunk or something?

Carter said that Tessa went with Ruby back to her father’s farm, so the fact that she wasn’t close by and seemingly drunk really left an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach. I stared at the clock; it was later in the evening.

Since seeing Tessa’s text this morning, I wasn’t able to sleep. I tried to refrain from calling her today, but eventually, I caved. I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted to make sure she was okay and it’s not like I was going to bombard her at her father’s farm.

She made it perfectly clear that she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.

I guess I only had myself to blame for that.

I haven’t been treating her well; I deserved everything I got.

Carter was right though; if I wanted to truly protect Tessa, I should be keeping her close and not pushing her away.

I canceled class this evening, so I spent my time at home. I couldn’t concentrate on any of my work, so I spent the evening patrolling the city. I knew there probably weren’t any new vampires lurking around because I’d be able to sense them, but I also knew that they were a lot smarter than they had been.

Carter had already returned to the mountains, so I was on my own once again. I had to admit, it was nice having a friend here, even for a little while.

By the end of the night, I was emotionally exhausted and returned to my villa. I found myself in a moment of weakness where I called Tessa again.

I don’t know what was wrong with me. Maybe it was because I knew she wouldn’t answer, and I just needed to hear her voice again on her answering machine. Maybe because there was a large part of me that was hoping that she would answer, and we could finally talk again.

But did I really want to tell her how I was feeling over the phone?

It was Saturday now; Carter told me that Ruby told him Tessa was visiting her mother’s grave that evening with her father.

I knew that Tessa didn’t remember her mother because she died when Tessa was only 3 years old, but I knew it was going to be an emotional time for her. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest knowing that I couldn’t be there with her.

It was my own fault.

I managed to get a couple of hours of sleep, but it was hardly enough. By the time I woke, the sun had barely rested.

“I’m going to see Tessa on Monday and then I’ll be able to explain to her how I feel,” I kept telling myself.

But Monday felt like an eternity away and would we really be able to have a relationship while I’m still her professor?

I know she’s a couple of months away from graduating, but still, would it be possible?

There’s also the fact that the lifespan of a human is so short.

I’m also supposed to be returning to the mountains after this semester and returning to my job as a teacher at the vampire academy, along with being the retriever.

Would Tessa go with me?

I brought these concerns up to Carter and he told me I was overthinking this. I only rolled my eyes and told him I was thinking logically. I didn’t want to be the reason Tessa had to give up her simple life.

To which he replied, “Tessa is never going to have a simple life.”

By the end of the day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I wasn’t going to be able to wait until Monday to tell Tessa how I felt. I was wasting time moping around this house.

The sun had just gone down, so I knew now was the perfect time to get to her father’s farm. I already knew where it was located when I researched Tessa a while back. He owned one of the largest farms in the country.

Instead of taking my car and driving for hours, I decided to use my speed and get there within the hour. I traveled mainly through the forest so I wouldn’t be seen by mortal eyes.

Once I neared the farm, I could already smell Tessa. I was stupid if I thought she wouldn’t be in danger if she stayed away from me. If I could smell her this easily, so could other vampires.

I walked down the path that led straight to Tessa’s scent. When I reached the farm, I frowned as I looked around at my surroundings.

It was a huge farm with acres of land and a bunch of stables. There was a garden as well which produced many different flowers, fruits, and vegetables.

Being here gave me a strange sense of familiarity.

My brows furrowed together; that was a sense I wasn’t expecting upon being on this farm. I don’t think I had ever been here before, but then again, I've lived a long life, and it was certainly possible that I had stumbled across this farm in the past.

But what reasons would I have been here?

I became distracted when I noticed her scent getting further away.

It was still early in the evening, so, I wondered if she was going to her mother’s grave.

I turned in the direction of her scent and followed it.

It didn’t take long to get to the cemetery. It was closed off by the forest, giving the cemetery a sense of privacy from the surrounding town.

I stayed in the forest as I searched for Tessa.

I soon found her and frowned when I noticed she was alone with a horse.

Where was her father?

Tessa was kneeling over her mother’s grave with her head down and tears falling over her face. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest when I saw her like this.

“I guess I’m just feeling a little lost. I’m in love with a guy who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about me. I wonder if you’ve ever been through something like that. I wonder what kind of advice you’d give me…” I heard her saying in a broken whisper.

She was talking about me.

Those tears weren’t for her mother… they were for me. I had done this to her.

Before I could step out of the forest, a crash of lightning lit up the sky and thunder sounded in the air, startling the horse. Tessa stood up quickly and tried to comfort the stallion, but to no prevail.

Rain fell at a rapid speed, drenching me completely. Thunder and lightning continued to crash and as I tried to get the water out of my eyes, I heard Tessa screaming, “Ivy!!!”

The galloping of the horse took me by surprise as it nearly knocked me off my feet. She had taken off in the direction of the farm, stranding Tessa in this storm.

Tessa looked as if she was about to run after the horse, but my movements stopped her. I accidentally stepped on a tree branch as I tried to get out of the forest and through the downpour of rain.

I watched as Tessa’s entire body froze. Her eyes grew large, and I couldn’t tell if they were wet because of the rain, or because she was still crying.

I had gotten this far, but I wasn’t exactly prepared for what I was going to say to her, I just knew I wanted to get her out of this rain and someplace dry.

“Joseph?” She yelled through the rainstorm. “What are you doing here?”

“Let’s get out of the rain,” I suggested, walking toward her.

“No!” She said, yelling over the sounds of the water crashing down around us. She stepped away from me as I neared. “Tell me why you’re here.”

“I got your text,” was all I could think to say.

Her face noticeably reddened as she stared down at her feet.

“That text was a mistake,” she murmured.

“I came here to talk to you,” I said, wanting so badly to close the gap between us, but I knew if I stepped closer, she would only step away again.

“Okay, so talk,” she said, folding her arms across her chest and peering back up at me.

“Don’t you want to get your horse?” I asked, motioning in the direction her horse took off.

“Ivy is fine,” she said sharply. “She went back to the farm.”

I nodded, staying quiet for a moment longer and allowing the sounds of the rain to wash away the silence that fell between us. I hadn’t thought about what I was going to say once I caught up to her.

I knew what I wanted to say, but I wasn’t sure how to say it.

Which was ironic coming from a writer.

“If you aren’t going to talk then I’m going back to the farm as well,” she said as she began to step around me, but I touched her arm, making her entire body freeze.

It was like an electric current between my fingertips and her arm, keeping us both frozen and connected. Her breathing sharpened and I could tell from the strained look on her face that she was holding herself back from showing her true feelings.

I knew it was a defense mechanism. I had hurt her, and it wasn’t going to be easy to win her trust again.

“Tessa….” I said in a voice so small I didn’t think she could hear me.

But her gaze traveled up my body until her eyes landed on mine. Now I was certain there were tears in her eyes.

Without thinking, I ran my hand up to the side of her face; her breathing quickened as she closed her eyes leaning into my touch.

She bit onto her bottom lip, trying to keep herself from crying.“I’m sorry…” I managed to breathe, feeling lame for using such basic words.

She finally let out the sob she was holding, and she buried her face in my chest, wrapping her arms tightly around me.