Chapter 141

Tessa’s POV

“Tessa, please open the door,” Ruby said from outside my apartment door.

She knocked on the door lightly, sensing that I was nearby. I was seated on the couch with a blanket draped around my shoulders and over my head, staring at the TV that was turned off. My eyes were raw from my crying and my throat was dry and raspy. I hadn’t used my voice in over 24 hours; I hadn’t needed to.

I hadn’t seen or spoken to anyone since my conversation with Joseph at school. He ended our dating trial, breaking up our relationship and ultimately breaking my heart.

I could hardly even breathe.

The most I could do was sit here and exist.

“Tessa… please,” Ruby continued to plead.

My phone lay on the ground by my foot and I felt it vibrating when she called and texted before showing up.

I felt more tears stinging the back of my eyes and I bit my bottom lip, which was incredibly chapped, to keep from sobbing. The memories of all the good times I had with Joseph kept repeating in my head. All the kind vampires I had met in his village, even the not-so-kind ones. The new friends I made; all the time Joseph and I made love.

I was truly in love with that man; he had my entire heart. But I didn’t have his. He didn’t feel the same way about me and because of that, I am left destroyed.

“I’m going to break open the door if you don’t open it,” Ruby warned and I knew she was serious.

I buried my face in my lap and allowed the stray tears to fall from my eyes. My entire body trembled and all I felt was pain. Physical and emotional.

It was amazing how tolling heartbreak can be on one's body.

I heard the knob of the door shaking and I knew Ruby was attempting to break the lock. Knowing Ruby, she’d be able to do it easily. She was the kind of girl who was able to break into things; she grew up in a rough area and learned from classmates how to break a lock. I had faith she’d be able to do the same to mine.

I didn’t even care; I wasn’t going to get up to let her in. I couldn’t even feel my legs. My entire body had gone numb and if I moved, I would fall to the ground.

The lock finally unlatched and the door swung open; I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see her.

I wondered if she was able to see me at all; the room was dark and I tried to hide myself in the shadows. She stood at the doorway for a moment, probably trying to process what she was seeing.

She sighed heavily.

“Oh, Tessa…” she breathed as she walked toward me. “This isn’t healthy.”

She sat down beside me and stared around at the blanket that had consumed me. It was a blanket my mother had made while she was pregnant with me. I kept this blanket close to my heart and right now, it was the only thing that provided me a bit of comfort.

“When did you shower last?” She asked, scrunching her nose.

I had to stifle an eye roll.

“And when was the last time you ate?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

She sighed again and scooched close to me.

“Please, say something, Tessa,” she said in a small and defeated tone. “I’m here for you; you know that.”

“What would you like me to say?” I finally said, finding my voice to be raspy and unrecognizable. I felt her body tensing and knew she was startled by how animalistic my voice sounded.

“Anything,” she said to me. “I want to know how you are doing. I’m worried about you.”

“I’m doing awful…” I said as more tears fell from my eyes. I kept my face buried so she wasn’t able to see them. “Feels like someone ripped my entire heart out of my chest.”

“You were heartbroken before and you never acted like this,” Ruby reminded me. “I mean, Brian cheated on you for crying out loud.”

“This is different,” I murmured, not able to look at her still.

“Because you truly loved Professor Joseph?” She asked; I could hear the sadness in her voice, and it made me bite my bottom lip again to keep from sobbing, but soon the metallic taste of blood entered my mouth.

All I could manage was a nod.

Ruby sighed and sat closer to me wrapping her arms around my frail body and pulling me close to her. She was comfortable and oddly strong. Her embrace was warm and inviting, as it often was.

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered to me. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

“It’s my own fault…” I whispered in return. “I put too much pressure on our relationship.”

“Don’t ever blame yourself for this, Tessa,” she scolded gently. “It’s not your fault. All you did was love him and he let you down. If he wasn’t our professor, I’d beat the shit out of him.”

Her words made me lift my head to look at her and her eyes widened when she finally saw the rawness and redness of my eyes.

“Holy hell,” she breathed. “You really should take a shower. I’ll make you something to eat while you do.”

“I don’t think I can move my legs,” I confessed.

She gave me a pointed look before releasing me and standing to her feet.

“I’ll help you,” she said simply, holding out her hand for me to take.

I truly appreciated what she was doing, and I didn’t want to go against her; so, I took her hand and pulled myself to my feet. As predicted, the numbness in my legs caused me to fall over. But thankfully, Ruby was there to catch me.

She wrapped her arms around my body to steady me.

“Come on, let’s get you to the bathroom,” she said, walking with me toward the bathroom in my bedroom at the end of the hallway. By the time we got to the bathroom, the numbness of my legs had gone down and I was able to stand on my own.

Ruby was the one who turned on my shower and made sure it was hot enough before turning to me.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” she told me. “I’m going to grab some clean clothes for you to wear and then I’ll make you some food.”

I managed to nod.

She looked at me sadly for a moment before turning toward the door and leaving the bathroom. I stared at the steamy shower with a frown. I couldn’t seem to get Joseph out of my head and the very thought of him made it impossible to do anything. Even take a simple shower.

Tears fell from my eyes and this time I sobbed. The loudness of the bathroom fan against the running water was enough to drown out my sobs though. I knew Ruby would be back any moment with clean clothes and I didn’t want her to see me like this.

My best bet was to get into the shower and hide from the world.

I stripped off my clothes and looked at myself in the foggy mirror. I was extremely pale and looked worn out with dark circles under my eyes, chapped bleeding lips, and red and puffy eyes. Not to mention I had lost a significant amount of weight over the last 24 hours.

Joseph would have been disappointed in me; not that it matters anymore.

Joseph was no longer around me to be disappointed in me.

I stepped into the shower and allowed the hot water to soothe my bones. It rinsed through my long hair, and I found myself closing my eyes, breathing in the thick steam that filled the bathroom.

Ruby was right; I did need this. It felt nice.

Not before long, Ruby was opening the bathroom door.

“I’m just setting clothes down for you,” she informed me before she left the bathroom.

Once I was done in the shower, I turned it off and wrapped a towel around my wet body before stepping before the mirror again.

I sighed; I looked about the same, except wet.

I quickly dried and got dressed in the sweatshirt and pajama pants that Ruby left out for me. This actually made me crack a smile; she knew me well and I often forget that fact.

When I left the bathroom, I could smell the sweet scent of tomato soup coming from the kitchen. My stomach growled violently, indicating just how hungry I truly was. I walked out of my bedroom and into the kitchen where Ruby was pouring tomato soup into a bowl.

“Just in time,” she said, giving me a kind smile. “Do you feel any better after the shower?”

“Some,” I admitted.

Her expression softened and she gave me a small smile.

“Good,” she breathed.

She handed me the bowl and motioned me to follow her.

We went back down the hallway and into my bedroom.

“Get into bed,” she ordered. “You need to rest properly.”

I got into bed and placed the soup on my lap. She sat beside me as I slowly ate the soup. It only took a couple of bites before I started to feel sick. As hungry as I was, my stomach couldn’t handle the food.

But I forced the rest of the soup down my throat until it was gone. She took the bowl from me and went to clean the dishes. I laid my head on my pillow, and I felt exhaustion take over.

By the time I woke the next morning, Ruby was still over. She cleaned my entire apartment and did all my laundry. She meal-prepped for the entire week and even made me breakfast.

“Did you sleep at all?” I asked when I walked into the kitchen to smell the bacon and eggs cooking.

“I got a few hours,” she admitted. “But I was mainly too worried to sleep; so, I cleaned.”

“Thank you,” I told her, and I truly meant that.

“You look better,” she pointed out, glancing at my face briefly as she scrambled the eggs.

“I feel a bit more human today,” I told her, which was also the truth.

After we ate breakfast, we talked a lot. I was finally able to tell the whole story, minus the vampire stuff, and she listened with sincerity. She hugged me and cried with me as I spoke about everything I was feeling.

I finally convinced her to leave later that night after she made dinner. Once I was alone, I took the opportunity to update my blog. I try to write something daily, but I missed yesterday and the night before.

I wrote a small entry instead of my standard long one and once I hit the publish button I went to bed. I had school in the morning, and I was dreading everything about having to go to school and see Joseph.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the day.