Chapter 213

Ella

It was late, far too late for me to be awake, but sleep eluded me that night thanks to the excitement roiling around inside my head. I found myself standing in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom. In the soft glow of the lamp on the bedside table and the waxing moon filtering in through the sheer curtains, I could just make out the delicate rose tattoo that now sat on my hip.

“My dad is gonna flip when he sees this,” I whispered as I tugged down the waistband of my pajama pants just enough to see the dainty little rose.

Ema, just as restless as I was after our exciting night, chuckled in the back of my mind. “Doesn’t your dad have a tattoo of his own?”

I nodded, my gaze still fixed on the little rose that now adorned my hip for life, for better or worse. “Yeah, he does,” I said softly. It was true; my dad had a tattoo of my grandmother’s initials on his shoulder. She had died when I was eleven, and he had gotten the tattoo shortly after. But he always said that a tattoo should be incredibly meaningful, and that one should never get a tattoo without seriously thinking about it first.

My rose was the complete opposite of that; I had gotten it on a whim, and although it felt special to me now, I knew I would have an almost impossible time explaining the meaning of it to my father.

“Well, either way,” Ema said softly, “it suits you well. I like this new side of you, Ella.”

I blushed. “New side of me?”

Ema chuckled again. “You’re being more adventurous,” she explained. “It’s nice to see you come out of your shell.”

My shell.

I always hated that word; as if it implied that I had lived in a bubble, hidden from the rest of the world and blind to everything else around me. I had always felt offended by it, as if my reserved demeanor made me sheltered and juvenile. But right now, I supposed that Ema was right. I had opened up more recently, begun taking more risks.

I guess being uncertain about whether you’ll live or die at any given moment does that to a person.

Suddenly, a gentle knock on the door pulled me out of my deep train of thought. Hurriedly, I tugged down my pajama top to cover the tattoo and called out, “Come in.”

The door opened, revealing Logan standing in the doorway. His eyes found mine, and for a moment, I saw a flicker of something deeper, something unspoken, before his gaze quickly dropped and a blush colored his cheeks. He looked different like this, more vulnerable, more human.

“What’s up?” I asked, my heart skipping a beat at his unexpected visit.

Logan cleared his throat, shifting his weight awkwardly. “I know it’s late, but I, uh, got hungry and ordered a pizza,” he said. “I heard you moving around up here, so I figured you couldn’t sleep either. Thought maybe you’d like to join me for a movie? Got some wine, too.”

His offer was tempting, but also terrifying. After that intimate kiss we had shared in the desert, I felt oddly bashful around him, like a shy schoolgirl. I wanted to be close to him, and yet, I wanted to run as far away as possible.

“You should go,” Ema urged in the back of my mind. “You need this, Ella. We both do.”

After a moment's hesitation, I nodded. “Sure. I’ll be downstairs in a bit.”

Logan’s face lit up with a smile that reached his eyes before he retreated, closing the door behind him.

In the solitude of my room, Ema’s voice echoed in my head. “You’re still holding back, Ella. Why? I thought you were ready to take this to the next level.”

I sighed, staring at my reflection. “It’s not that simple, Ema. There’s too much at stake. I can’t just...”

“Can’t just what? Be happy? Give in to what’s meant to be?” Ema’s tone was laced with frustration.

Ema’s words made my cheeks flush, and I realized that I had no response. I felt as if I was warring with a part of myself that was terrified of love, terrified of abandonment, terrified of loss, and all the while the other part of me, the part that wanted nothing more than to hold and to be held, was banging on the walls and begging to escape.

Without another word, I made my way downstairs. Logan was stepping back into the foyer, a pizza box in his hand. I could smell it already, and it made my mouth water. It reminded me of the nights growing up when my dad would come home after a long week of work with pizza. We’d all pile onto the couch and watch a movie, and I always treasured those nights.

“Follow me,” Logan said, nodding his head down the hall. “Have you been in the movie theater room yet?”

I quirked an eyebrow as I followed. “The movie theater room?”

Logan chuckled. “I’ll take that as a no, then.”

A few moments later, Logan led me down into the finished basement, then to a nondescript door at the end of the hall. The door opened to a private movie theater, complete with plush chairs, a large screen, and a full bar.

“This is incredible,” I murmured, taking in the lavish setup.

Logan grinned, a hint of pride in his voice. “I like to enjoy movies in style.”

We settled into the chairs, the aroma of fresh pizza filling the air, accompanied by the subtle clink of wine glasses. The movie played, but my mind was only half-focused, the rest caught up in the proximity to Logan, the charged space between us.

“You know,” Logan started, breaking the silence during a quiet moment in the film, “did you have a room like this growing up?”

I chuckled softly, a wave of nostalgia washing over me. “No, nothing like this. But we did have pizza and movie nights. It was a tradition of ours. I miss those.”

Logan’s gaze softened. “If you’re not planning on going home soon, we could make it a tradition here, you know.”

The offer warmed my heart, and for a moment, I felt my cheeks flush red. I met Logan’s blue-eyed stare, and in that moment, the part of me that wanted to be loved almost breached the surface.

But only almost.

The other part of me rose above, pushing down the more innocent side of me. What I said next tumbled out like an avalanche, and I felt immediate regret as soon as I said those words.

“Our contract will be over in just a few months, Logan.”

Logan’s eyes widened momentarily. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then shut it again, and returned his attention to the movie without a word. I kicked myself internally, and so did my wolf.

Ema’s voice echoed in my head, tinged with disapproval. “You keep pushing him away, Ella. Why? He’s everything we’ve ever wanted. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I-I don’t know why I said that,” I replied. “It just… I’m just… I’m scared.”

“Scared of what? Of being loved?”

My cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red, as if that was somehow possible. I felt like a fool, an utter fool. It was as if no matter how hard I tried, I just kept digging myself into a deeper hole, refusing love from a man who wanted me more than anything.

Then, suddenly, Logan paused the film and turned to face me with a seriousness that made my heart race.

“Ella, why are you always so hell-bent on pushing me away?”