Chapter 203

Ella

The air in the exercise room felt heavy with the aftermath of our passionate hookup. My heart was still pounding, and my body tingled with desire. I had never expected things to escalate like this, and now that they had, I was overcome with a mixture of emotions.

“Wow,” Logan breathed as he rolled away from me, out of breath and just as sweaty as before. “That was…”

His voice trailed off, but he didn’t need to finish. I didn’t want him to finish—because I was coming back to my senses.

God, what had I done?

The aftermath of what we had just done together hit me like a freight train. I felt as though I had fallen victim to my primal urges and I had done something I never should have done. This was a mistake, just like the first time.

So why did I feel so… good?

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as the realization hit me. No, this wasn’t right. I shouldn’t have done this; it was stupid. It was so, so stupid. But I could make a promise to myself never to do it again. I could put this behind me, just as I had put the first time behind me. And so, I scrambled to gather my clothes and start putting them on.

Logan watched me with a bemused expression, propping himself up on his elbows as he lay on the mats. “Where are you going in such a hurry?” he asked, his voice laced with amusement. “Got a meeting or something? Another hot date, maybe?”

I avoided his gaze as I fastened my bra and slipped into my panties. “I... I got carried away just now,” I stammered, trying to sound casual, even though my heart was racing a mile a minute. “I should… I should leave.”

“Oh, god,” Logan said with a chuckle. “Really, Ella? This again?”

I scoffed as I tugged on my leggings next, feeling incredibly awkward beneath his gaze. He was still shirtless, although he had pulled the waistband of his pants back up. “Yes, this again,” I said. “We shouldn’t have done that, Logan. It was stupid.”

I half expected Logan to scoff in return and storm out angrily, but he didn’t. Instead, his grin just widened as he sat up, running a hand through his tousled black hair. “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he said, his clear blue eyes locked onto me unwaveringly. “What’s wrong with being a little stupid sometimes? And besides, what’s so stupid about it, anyway?”

“It’s just… not a good idea,” I said. “We shouldn’t be getting our feelings so confused like this. Not when we’re already dealing with so much.”

Logan said nothing. As I pulled my shirt back on over my head, I felt a knot of panic tightening in my chest. What had I done? This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. I couldn’t let my feelings get the best of me, not when there was so much at stake.

After all, I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let feelings get in the way. And here I was, doing exactly that.

Logan, with a soft sigh, finally stood up and leveled me with a stern glare. “Come on, Ella,” he said as I gathered my socks and shoes. I thought about slipping them back on, but then I decided that it was better to just go barefoot back to my room so I could get out of here faster. “You don’t need to act like this.”

“Yes, I do,” I said, my voice so low it was barely more than a growl.

Inside of me, my wolf roiled, clearly perturbed by my hasty retreat. “What is the purpose of this, Ella?” she asked. “You liked it. He liked it. I thought we weren’t going to run anymore.”

But I ignored her.

“I’ll talk to you later, Logan,” I said out loud instead.

I tried to step away, to put some distance between us, but Logan moved with lightning speed, cornering me against the wall before I could reach the door. My heart leaped into my throat as he pressed his firm, muscular body against mine, his breath hot against my ear as he spoke.

“What’s the rush, Ella?” he whispered, his voice low and seductive. “You got what you wanted, didn’t you?”

I swallowed hard, unable to meet his gaze. “Logan, I... We can’t keep doing this,” I said, my voice trembling. “Once was bad enough, but to do it twice? It’s not right. It’s not safe.”

Before I could slip away, Logan tilted my chin up gently, forcing me to look into his intense blue eyes. “And why is that, Ella?” he asked, his tone challenging. “Is it because you can't admit how you feel about me?”

I bit my lip, torn between the desire that still burned inside of me and the need to protect myself from getting hurt. “I can’t... I can’t let my feelings get in the way,” I finally admitted, my voice barely a whisper.

Logan’s lips curled into a half-smile, and he leaned in even closer, his breath mingling with mine. “Then make up your mind, Ella,” he said, his voice husky. “If you don’t want me as your mate, just say the words, and we can sever the tie. We won’t be fated to each other anymore.”

I felt a surge of panic, my wolf howling inside of me, begging me not to do it. ‘“Please, Ella,” she begged. “Please don’t do it. He’s our fated mate! You’ve been through so much together! Please!”

My wolf’s words made my skin prickle. I didn’t want to do it any more than she did; but I also knew that it wasn’t safe. Logan and I couldn’t be together, not when our worlds were so far apart. And no matter how much it hurt to turn him away, I simply couldn’t let my emotions rule me right now. I had to be strong.

For Daisy. For my career. For my parents.

“Fine,” I said, my voice trembling. “Logan, I…”

Logan’s eyes flashed. There was a deep and profound sadness there, a sadness that I shared, a sadness that made me pause.

“Say it,” he whispered. “Say it now, Ella, before I do.”

I swallowed and nodded. It was for the best if I said it. It would be over finally, and I wouldn’t need to be a victim to this game of fate any longer. It was only four words. That was it. Four words, and I’d be safe.

After all, he couldn’t leave me if I left him first, right?

“Logan,” I started again, “I… I reject…”

But I couldn’t finish the words. They caught in my throat, and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. My shoulders slumped with defeadt. I looked into Logan’s eyes, and they were filled with a mixture of satisfaction and sadness.

“Stop trying to hide your feelings, Ella,” he said softly, his fingers trailing down my cheek. “You want to be with me, and you know it.”

With that, he released me and stepped away, leaving me standing there, my heart aching with a thousand different emotions in my chest. I watched as he walked out of the exercise room, disappearing from view.

I was left alone, my clothes still in disarray, my heart torn between the desire that burned inside of me and the fear of the consequences that came along with opening myself up to another person.

I didn’t know how to feel, what to think, what to do next. All I knew was that I was trapped in a web of emotions, and I had no idea how to untangle myself from it.