Chapter 142

Ella

The bathroom door clicked shut behind me, and I felt an immediate shift from chaos to calm. The soft lighting created a gentle glow on the cream-colored marble tiles, soft music played over the speakers, and the air smelled like soap. I let out a soft sigh of relief once I realized that I was alone, and made my way over to the sink.

I glanced at myself in the mirror—flawless makeup, perfect hair, a dress that fit like a glove. I looked like the perfect picture of control, but I felt like the exact opposite. My heart was still racing from the dance with Logan, from the way his eyes glinted in the soft light of the ballroom, from the way that he so nonchalantly mentioned that our arrangement was almost over.

But most of all, I was still reeling over the fact that I… was actually sad about it. With a sigh, I leaned on the marble countertop, taking in slow breaths.

In, out. In, out.

Suddenly, the door creaked open. I jerked my head up to see Moana walking in, a puzzled expression on her face. Our eyes met in the mirror, and I could tell instantly: she knew that something was wrong.

“Ella,” she asked, her heels clicking on the marble floor as she made her way toward me, “why are you in here all by yourself? Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine, mom,” I said, forcing a stiff smile. “I just needed a moment to catch my breath, that’s all.”

Moana didn't say anything right away. She stepped up to the sink beside me, leaning toward the mirror and picking at a piece of dried lipstick on the corner of her mouth. I watched her for a moment, feeling as though I was eight again, and she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She still was, in my eyes.

I remembered how I used to watch her putting on her makeup when I was little, and she always put a little lip gloss and some light eyeshadow for me so I could feel ‘pretty’, too. But right now, my makeup just felt like a facade.

When she looked up, her eyes met mine again. There was that discerning look that I had grown so used to over the years. Suddenly, I was no longer eight, but instead I was sixteen, and I was caught doing something I shouldn’t be.

“Ella, breathe. You’ve practically been holding your breath since I got in here.”

I blinked, realizing that she was right. I let out an exhale. “Sorry. It’s just… a lot out there.”

Her eyes tightened, just a fraction, but enough for me to notice. “Is it Logan?”

My heartbeat quickened. “Why would it be Logan?”

Moana folded her arms and gazed at me, that all-knowing look in her eyes that only a mother could have. “So, you and Logan—this is serious?”

“Of… of course it’s serious,” I retorted, my eyes widening. “Why would you even question that?”

She chuckled softly, shaking her head. “Oh, Ella. Do you think you’re the first person to ever pretend to be in a relationship for the sake of appearances?”

My eyes narrowed. “What are you saying, mom?”

Moana leaned closer. “I’m just saying it looks awfully familiar. This little dance you’re doing with Logan? Edrick and I had our own once, years ago. I can recognize the signs, sweetheart.”

I felt frozen to my spot. Moana was right; years ago, when I was just eight, my dad had a fake ‘relationship’ with Moana. I still remembered all of the confusing nights, the way that they pretended like they didn’t love each other. Even as a child, though, I could tell that something was off between them.

Was it that obvious with me and Logan?

“Honey,” Moana continued, noticing my trepidation, “I’ve known you since you were a little girl. I can tell when something is off, and you and Logan… It’s not a typical ‘relationship.’”

As she spoke, she placed her hand over mine. Her skin was cool and grounding, and I felt my resolve begin to shatter.

Finally, caught between my mother’s piercing gaze and my own reflection in the mirror, the tension in the room became too much to bear. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. This charade had been going on for too long now, and I had no one to talk to about it,

“I guess there’s no use in hiding it anymore,” I finally said, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

“Go on,” Moana said gently, giving my hand a soft squeeze.

I took a deep breath. “You’re right. Logan and I... we’re not really together. It’s more of an... arrangement. A business arrangement.”

The silence that followed was deafening. I half expected a solid scolding from Moana, but if anything, her gaze was softer than ever when I glanced at her. She didn’t ask any questions, didn’t ask for specifics. And for some reason, that was a comfort.

Moana absorbed the words, and then her lips curled into a half-smile. “But you love him.”

I looked down, unable to bear the full brunt of her knowing gaze. “That’s… That’s not the point, mom. We agreed to this for mutual benefits, nothing more.”

She leaned a little closer, nearly dropping her voice to a whisper. “But you can’t control your feelings, Ella. You may have started this as an arrangement, but I see the way you look at him. Those big, beautiful eyes of yours don’t lie. And I’m pretty sure his don’t either.”

“It’s complicated,” I muttered, tracing the marble countertop with my finger.

“Why? Because he’s from the dark side? Because he’s a mobster? Is that what’s holding you back?” Her tone turned challenging, daring me to confirm her suspicion.

My eyes snapped up, locking onto hers in the mirror. “I…” I began, but my voice trailed off. Somehow, my mother had hit the nail on the head. Logan was my fated mate. If it weren’t for his background, maybe this engagement party would be real by now.

Moana chuckled, the sound echoing softly in the high ceilings of the bathroom. “For the record, Ella, I think he’s a good man for you.”

“A good man? Mom, he’s dangerous. His world is one I can’t be a part of. It would never work out between us.”

“But you want it to,” she countered.

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to, darling. It’s written all over your face.” Her eyes were full of something that I couldn’t quite read. “And for what it’s worth, I think he feels the same.”

The sheer sincerity in her voice struck me hard like a bolt of lightning, and almost made my head reel. I had to grip the counter a little tighter to keep myself steady.

I knew that Logan felt the same. At least, he did. Before I went and messed everything up because of my own fear.

“Come here, love,” Moana said softly, holding her arms out. I didn’t realize it, but there were tears in my eyes, threatening to spill.

I stepped away from the counter and into her open arms, allowing myself to be enveloped in her warmth. I felt her hands on my back, her fingers gently rubbing circles. Suddenly, I was eight again for the second time that night, and I had a scraped knee.

“Thanks, mom,” I said after a few moments, my voice barely above a whisper. “But even though we’re fated, this arrangement won’t last much longer. So don’t get your hopes up.”

“Why not?” she asked, pulling back to look into my eyes.

“I can’t say right now,” I said, wiping a tear from my eye with my index finger. “But just know that it’s almost over.”

Moana held my gaze for a long moment, and I knew that she wanted to press, to unravel the full story thread by thread. But she didn’t. Instead, she simply nodded, as if to say that she trusted me to navigate this tangled web in my own way, in my own time.

But the real question was: could I even trust myself?