Chapter 134

Logan

My phone buzzed on the nightstand, its screen lighting up the dark bedroom. Squinting, I saw Ella’s name flashing across the screen for the first time in two weeks. It was barely past five in the morning. The sun wasn’t even up yet. My first thought was that something terrible must have happened.

I picked up the phone, and my voice came across a little harsher than I intended. “Ella? Why are you calling me?”

My wolf perked up. “Why do you think she’s calling, Logan? It’s been weeks. Maybe she misses you.”

“Yeah, um, I just wanted to know… what color am I supposed to wear to the engagement party?” Her voice was so soft, almost a whisper, yet it roared through my head. I was suddenly fully awake.

“Is that what you really wanted to talk to me about?” I found myself asking. “About the color of a dress? At… five in the morning?”

“Oh, she does miss you,” my wolf teased.

I shook my head as if to physically dislodge my wolf’s incessant comments. “Yes,” Ella finally said. “I’m sorry, but it’s been keeping me awake. I needed to know.”

“She lies. She lies so beautifully.”

“Shut up,” I commanded my wolf.

I sighed. “Ella, it doesn’t really matter. You can wear whatever you want.”

“But you want her to wear blue,” my wolf interrupted. “Because blue looks the best on her, and goes with her beautiful hair.”

“Alright, um… I think I’ll be wearing a blue tie, so maybe you should wear something blue too,” I found myself saying, almost against my will.

“I don’t have a blue dress for an occasion like this,” she told me.

“Buy her one. Then you get to see her,” my wolf suggested.

I sighed, more so at my wolf’s naive excitement than anything. “Okay. I can buy one for you if you want,” I offered. I was still annoyed with her after everything, but I couldn’t deny that the idea of seeing her again was tempting.

My wolf practically howled in triumph. “She’s coming back to us. Didn’t I tell you?”

“I can buy it myself,” Ella said, snapping me out of the brief reverie.

“I really don’t mind, Ella. The fake engagement party was my idea anyway,” I retorted. Her hesitance was infuriating, yet endearing. Why did she have to be so damn complicated?

“She’s just being polite, and she’s nervous,” my wolf reminded me, a bit bitterly. “Don’t worry. She’s coming back, and that’s all that matters.”

“Hush,” I growled in response, growing agitated. “I’m not doing this again.”

She bashfully thanked me. “Wow...Okay. Thank you, Logan.”

“I’ll Venmo you the money right now,” I found myself saying.

“You fool, she’s slipping through your fingers,” my wolf admonished.

Just as I was about to confirm the transfer, she blurted out, “Would you go shopping with me instead? Help me pick something out?”

“Yes! Say yes!” My wolf was practically dancing.

I hesitated for a moment, considering my options: say yes and please not only my wolf, but my base instincts for a brief moment. Or stick to my guns and say no. But hearing the hopeful tone in her voice filled me with a strange sense of excitement, and I found myself answering before I really thought through it.

“Sure, Ella. I’ll pick you up tomorrow. I mean…” I glanced at the clock, remembering that it was already past five in the morning. I’d be getting up soon on a normal day, except today was Saturday. “Today, technically. I’ll pick you up today. At noon.”

“You don’t sound too happy about it,” my wolf accused.

“Today?” Ella sounded surprised. “You mean...You’re home? I thought you went overseas.”

“I came home early,” I answered. There was a long pause.

“You did? Why?” Ella finally asked.

I hesitated. “Tell her the truth. Tell her you stayed because of her, because you wanted to be here for her if she needed you, because you wanted to keep her safe,” my wolf insisted.

I rolled my eyes at my wolf. “Does it matter?” I deflected instead, sensing my own vulnerability creeping up.

“Yes—” She began but then stopped herself. “I mean, no, it doesn’t matter. I was just curious.”

“She cares,” my wolf said softly, almost tenderly.

“I just decided to,” I lied. “Nothing to it, really. Figured it would be best if I got home early and got some work done. Wanna keep my dad happy, you know?”

“You liar. You stayed for her,” my wolf accused.

“Yeah.” Ella sighed, her voice falling flat, and I suddenly regretted my guardedness.

We said our goodnights, but after hanging up, I couldn’t go back to sleep. My wolf was restless, pacing back and forth in my mind. “You should tell her, Logan. Tell her how much you’ve missed her.”

I laid there, staring at the ceiling. Maybe I had been too harsh, telling her that we didn’t need to see each other for an entire month before the party. It was a defensive move, a way to protect myself. But as much as I wanted to keep my guard up, I knew it would be impossible. Especially when my wolf would give anything to get close to her again.

“Just admit it, Logan. You missed her.”

“Yeah,” I whispered to the darkness. “I guess I did.”

“Good. Now what are you going to do about it?”

“Keep my guard up,” I muttered.

“You can try,” my wolf said, almost laughing. “You can try.”

…

I stood in front of my mirror, glancing critically at my reflection. I had on a dark navy shirt and a lighter blue tie. It should have been perfect. I mean, I had worn this outfit a hundred times before.

“You look fine,” my wolf grumbled, sensing my dissatisfaction.

“I look like shit,” I countered out loud, loosening my tie and pulling it off in one swift motion. I couldn’t figure it out. Was the shirt too dark? Was it the tie? What was wrong?

“It’s not the outfit, Logan. It’s you. You’re nervous.”

I snorted. “I’m not nervous.”

“You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me. You want to impress her.”

I clenched my jaw. “That’s ridiculous.”

Ignoring my protests, my wolf continued. “Come on, don’t be daft. You’re clearly dressing up for her, Logan. Why is this so important to you?”

I pulled off my shirt and tossed it onto the bed, rifling through my closet for another one. “It’s not that deep. I just want to look presentable.”

“Presentable… or irresistible?” My wolf’s question echoed in my mind, taunting me.

I threw on another shirt, this time a light gray one. Staring at the mirror again, I wasn’t satisfied. Something still felt off.

“I’m not doing this to impress anyone,” I insisted, though I wasn’t even sure who I was trying to convince.

“So, you wouldn’t care if she thought you looked like a slob today?”

“No,” I snapped. “I wouldn’t.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Logan.”

I gave in, sighing deeply. “Fine. Maybe I do care, just a little. But why should I? She clearly used me. We had our one night stand and then she distanced herself. Like I meant nothing.”

“Did she really use you, or did you both use each other?”

“No,” I growled. “I was into her. I thought it was mutual.”

“And you got hurt,” my wolf stated, not as a question but as a fact.

“Yeah, I did,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. I took off the gray shirt and settled for a crisp white one, going for a different vibe entirely now: a slim-fit t-shirt with a leather jacket on top. This felt more like me.

“Have you ever considered that maybe she was just scared?”

“Listen, I know,” I said, turning this way and that in the mirror one last time before heading out. “But it doesn’t mean I forgive her.”

I got into my car, feeling a little more confident in my final choice of attire but still nagged by the underlying tension of the day. The drive to Ella’s apartment felt shorter than I wanted it to be. I needed more time to prepare myself emotionally, but before I knew it, I was parking the car in front of her building.

“You know, if you’re really that scared, you don’t have to do this,” my wolf whispered, as if his reverse psychology would work on me..

“Just… shush,” I muttered, my grip tightening around the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the car and walked towards her door. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to leap out of my chest.

I pressed the button and was met with Ella’s staticky voice coming through the speaker.

“Logan? That you?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on up.”

The buzzer went off, and the door clicked open. I headed inside, taking the stairs two at a time.

“You’re excited,” my wolf teased, noticing my haste.

“Not excited,” I said. “Just want to get this over with.”

But then I reached her door, and it was already wide open, waiting for me. I swallowed and stepped into her little apartment to see her standing in front of the hallway mirror, her back turned to me.

When she turned around, my breath caught in my throat. She was wearing a long black skirt and an off-shoulder top; simple yet breathtaking. Her eyes met mine, and I swore they were shining brighter than any star I had ever seen.

“Damn,” my wolf whistled. “She looks…”

“Gorgeous.” I finished the sentence for him. I had to quickly look away, feeling suddenly vulnerable.