Chapter 94

Derek wants to take me on a fancy, sweet date. Finding a dress to fit into proves to be a true challenge. Eight months and I feel like an elephant.

“You look beautiful, Esme.”

“So says you,” I groan as he tries to help me zipper up.

The dark blue dress is supposed to be floor-length. However, with my stomach out, the dress doesn’t even make it to my ankles.

The zipper finally gives, and he kisses my head tenderly. “I will always tell you how beautiful you are.”

I snort.

“Hush you,” he chuckles.

We exit my bedroom to see Bea and Tris waiting for us, Annie and Lily sitting on the couch with them.

Bea is the first to see us, her head whipping around to face us. “Wow,” she gushes.

Tris nods emphatically. “You’re a princess, Esme!”

My hand moves to my heart. “Thank you, honey.”

“You look ready to pop,” Annie says with a smirk.

“Ha-ha,” I taunt back, sticking my tongue out. “Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for watching the girls tonight,” Derek changes the subject quickly. “I’ve been trying to take Esme out for months.”

I shrug, my hand moving to my favorite necklace—the one he bought me. “What can I say? I’m not into fancy things.”

Now, it’s Lily who snickers into her hand. “I find that hard to believe based on your personality.”

“Please ignore those two,” I turn my gaze to Derek. “They know absolutely nothing.”

“Clearly,” he smiles back, staring into my eyes. “I don’t need anyone to tell me who you are.”

“Get out of here!” Annie calls to us as I kiss Derek lovingly. “Go on your date! Don’t make your daughters watch you kiss your woman!”

Derek crouches down, opening his arms to Bea and Tris. “Not without my hug.”

His little one’s jump from the couch, each grabbing one side of their father.

Then, as they have for months, they come to me for hugs, too. I have to sit down on a chair to ensure I can hold them. Only five weeks until my due date—I don’t need to risk anything.

Derek helps me stand again, grabs my purse on the counter, and pulls me toward the door. “We’ll be back later,” he calls.

“No rush!” Lily replies.

“Bye girls!” I make sure to say.

“Bye!” The two waving at us as we exit the apartment.

We go to a new steak house in town, Steak Me.

Derek orders a glass of red wine, and I get a seltzer.

“As much as I can’t wait for my girl, I would love a glass of wine.”

He chuckles, a sound I’m so accustomed to hearing now. Whether I’m lying next to Derek in bed, the two of us driving to work together, getting lunch or cooking dinner, I spend so much of my free time being with the man that just a few months ago, wasn’t even dating.

But my love for him has continued to expand. And it’s not just for him. Bea and Tris are the daughters I never had. We’ve taken them up to the pool a few times, to the zoo, the mall, and so many different restaurants.

“You’ll get one soon enough,” Derek assures me. He reaches across the table, touching my hand gently. “Think the nursey’s good for her? Nothing else we might need?”

I shake my head. “We got her crib built, the room’s been properly lit, the changing table is set up, and Annie and Lily brought open the rocking chair they’d picked out. Not to mention clothes in every drawer and the closet.”

“You’re welcome,” he winks.

Having saved Bea and Tris’ baby clothes, Derek gave me an army’s worth of items. He’d gotten everything out of storage and brought it over. “Hopefully this will keep baby Thorne clothed for the next few years.”

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“I was holding onto all those clothes for nothing. If you weren’t taking them, I would have donated almost everything.”

“Almost?”

“I have a favorite dress for each girl. The outfit that looked best on them. I keep it in a drawer that I don’t usually touch. A few other parents I’ve met through the years do the same thing.”

I hum aloud. “I never thought to do that.”

“I’m sure baby Thorne will look great in everything,” he winks.

I tilt my head to the side. “You never wonder what I’m naming her?”

“Not my place,” he states back immediately. “I know it’s important to keep it to yourself.”

“Even if you and I are moving toward marriage?”

His face reddens as he squeezes my hand. “Am I that obvious?” He questions.

“I think we’re on the same page with that,” I admit. “I know I want to marry you.”

He sighs. “Okay, good, I want to marry you, too.”

“I’m not in any rush, though,” I push. “Not after just getting out of another one.”

“I’m not asking today, don’t worry.”

“So, marriage someday.”

“But no rush.”

I sigh now, relieved. “And living together?” I try again.

“Still working on that one.” His eyes twinkle at me. “Besides if I don’t tell Annie and Lily my plans, they might end up cornering me in your apartment.”

“They really like you for me.”

“And I’m glad you have such incredible friends. Helping with anything to do with Bea and Tris? Wanting you to be happy? I don’t have people close to me like that.”

“Except for me.”

He leans back. “Of course, you. I guess when I lost Sadie, I didn’t expect to find another family again. Annie, Lily, their partners, even your mother.”

“Yeah, that one is still a surprise for me,” I sigh again as I admit this. “I spent so many years not being open with Angie that now it feels impossible to go through any major life event without her.”

“I think you opening up to everyone probably factors into that.”

“And another thing. Annie, Lily, my mom? No one knew my past.”

“Except for me, of course.”

I nudge his foot from under the table. “I wouldn’t have opened up to anyone without your help.”

“I do what I can,” he shrugs as our waiter approaches us.

We order our own steaks, continuing to hold hands on the table.

“I do want to ask you something.”

“I’m already sleeping with you. What more do you want?”

He closes his eyes and holds back a laugh. “Utterly ridiculous.”

“Hey, you’re the one who said ‘I love you’ first.”

“Can I ask you my question now?”

I take my seltzer and take a long drink, waiting for his next thought.

“I’ve met Angie. I figure you should meet my parents, too.”

“Your parents? You don’t really talk about them.”

“They’re not nearby. It’s a hassle seeing them with the girls.”

I think about that, knowing my mom has always been nearby even if I didn’t want to hear from her. She’s pushed to be better, to be present. Something she never did in the past.

“I’d love to meet your parents.” It’s the truth. To learn more about the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

“Good,” he clears his throat.

“You’ve met Angie. It’s only fair.”

He narrows his brows.

“What?”

Derek seems to hesitate a moment. His mouth forms a straight line, and I can tell this isn’t easy for him—whatever this is.

“Do you…wish you had a relationship with your own father? Given what you know about Sadie and me?”

“No.” I don’t dawdle on that. “No, I don’t have any desire to know him, to see his face. No one man could ever live up to the expectations I’ve set in my head. No one will ever be good enough to be that man.”

Our food comes at this moment. We wait politely for the waitress to pass out our plates and sides.

After she walks away, I lean forward. “Don’t get me wrong, Derek. I want your girls to be happy. But they know their parents. I’d rather be a good person. Never question my own heart and intentions. I don’t want to waste time worrying about him.”

He nods slowly. “I guess that makes sense.”

“If my daughter wants to learn about her father one day, I’ll educate her,” I add. “But in my eyes, you’ve been more of a dad than that scumbag ever has.”

That stops him from moving toward his food. His surprise is apparent immediately. “You…you mean that?”

“I do mean it. Just like how I see myself as another mom to your girls.”

His smile is relaxed, his entire body seems to be relieved. “You are a mom to them. They love you more and more by the day.”

“Then, let’s make a toast.” I lift my seltzer to the air. “To the three kids that we’ll work together to raise.”

Our glasses clink together. “To our three daughters.”