Chapter 73

“Tell me you have some good news, Daniel.” I move through the throngs of people, phone to my ear as I go. My ankles are killing me. My back is so sore. I need to lay down now.

The joys of pregnancy.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Esme. I’m pushing the restraining order; I’ve been struggling to get it to go through.”

I let out an agitated groan into the phone. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“I’m sorry, I’m doing everything I can!” My lawyer is frantic.

I shake my head as the anger begins rising up in my chest. What the hell is wrong with everyone? Why is it so hard to get anything done?

“Ryan dropped his divorce claim. He keeps sending me flowers. He has been reported to the police multiple times. When are you going to understand this is turning into a matter of safety for my life?!” I snap.

Daniel’s voice is still timid. “I’ve been trying to get your divorce on the docket again for weeks!”

“Obviously not hard enough,” I bark.

“There’s only so much I can do right now.”

“There’s so much more you haven’t even tried. I hired you and your company because you promised me you’d do everything to help me.”

“And I meant tha—”

“But instead, things only get worse!”

People turn to look in my direction each time I reply with a snarky, disgusted remark to Daniel. He’s been making me promises he can’t keep ever since we started this entire thing. How am I supposed to believe he and his company are doing what they can to keep me safe?

Because the truth is, they’re in uncharted waters. My restraining order being thrown out and Ryan fighting the system that he brought into all of this in the first place. Daniel swore up and down that we’d win.

Yet I’m not sure that’s the case.

“Esme, please listen to me. We have to follow the protocol that is put into place for these situations.”

I snort. “There’s no protocol for everything you’ve experienced with me. How many times have you heard of a person running around, avoiding a restraining order?”

“I don’t—”

“Or when one partner cheats on the other before then losing the baby and going back to the original wife in the first place?”

More stares as I walk, finally making it back to my car. I can’t wait to get off my feet, and I climb into the driver’s seat.

“Esme, you’re just tired right now. You don’t need to keep attacking me and the other lawyers.”

Another snort erupts from within me. “Sure, sure. You and the others are very kind, Daniel, but I can’t sit on my hands and watch Ryan continue to intimidate me.”

“We’re trying to get the restraining order to go through right at this moment. That’s what our top priority continues to be.”

Rolling my eyes, I shove my keys into the ignition. “Well, why don’t you call me when you have some actual good news instead of just reminding me that Ryan is getting away with any trick we throw toward him.”

I don’t wait for Daniel to say another word, not even wanting to give him a chance to breathe. I end the call in staggering anger.

The thing is, I know everyone around me is trying to do what they believe to be best for me and the divorce. But it’s as if I’m the only one who can see the clear steps toward a path of destruction.

Ryan was willing to keep running to avoid detection. Who’s to say that he won’t find a way to tarnish any of my already fragile reputation?

Only a few people know I’m pregnant. Ryan could even make it public knowledge and work towards discrediting me from the rest of the city.

It doesn’t matter what Daniel, or his bosses of lawyers think. The only thing I care about at this moment is staying out of Ryan’s way. And getting that fucking restraining order to go into effect.

By the time I arrive home from shopping, my eyes are struggling to stay open. It’s only mid-day, but besides the morning sickness, I’ve begun to notice severe fatigue once I get to the middle of my day.

The rest of the world might be trucking through, but I need to take a nap before I pass out altogether. Slowly, I make my way to my apartment, shuffling my sore feet with me as I go.

After opening my front door, I have half a mind to just melt to the floor. But instead, I put down my bags and kick the front door closed without much thought.

That’s the last thing that happens that isn’t out of place. What is strange is that there is someone sitting in my apartment, smiling at me like I’m the last slice of pizza in a box.

I can’t help it, I scream, dropping my phone to the ground and cover my mouth with a burst of adrenaline and fear.

Ryan stands slowly. Is this happening in slow motion? Is this a dream? God, please be a dream.

But I’m not thinking clearly. Ryan grabs my arm, twisting it around my back as I scream out in pain from the force of his strength.

“You’re going to keep making things difficult.” He sounds foreign to me. The bastard then pushes me up against the wall.

I avoid nearly colliding my nose with the wall, turning at the last second.

“You need to learn a lesson, Esme. I am your husband. I am the world you abandoned!”

I’m struggling to get control of my arm, but Ryan’s grabbed the other arm as well, holding them in place as I frantically begin to panic.

This can’t be happening to me. Not now, not again.

“I make the decisions! That baby is mine, and you’re going to learn your place after all this time!”

Tears fall quickly down my cheeks. “Ryan, no, stop!” I finally cry out. It’s like my throat is made of glass, any attempt to create noise rips my vocal cords.

Ryan’s hand reaches into my pants. Instantly, he triggers my past trauma. I immediately spiral into screams and rapid breathing as he gropes me.

“Stop, stop!” I’m bawling now, still unable to get out of Ryan’s tight grasp on my body. Not again, I can’t do this again.

“It’s time you finally learned a lesson you bitch.”

“Ryan, you can’t do this to me, please!”

“We’re far past the point of groveling, Esme. I’m not playing nice anymore. You’re going to learn that all you’re good for, all you’re meant for, is to be the mother to my child. You don’t seem to get that you’ve lost.”

“Ryan!”

The voice isn’t mine.

It’s not Ryan’s.

Tears blurring my vision, I open one eye to see Derek standing in the doorway, his chest heaving and his fists clenched.

Ryan’s grip on my body suddenly loosens, taking me a moment to process that he’s no longer there.

Slowly, robotically, I start turning to look at where the men have gone. I can’t hear anything, only a loud ringing in my ears as my eyes try to pinpoint where the men have gone.

As the piercing sound surrounds me on all sides, I feel my heart bouncing around my chest, sounding like it’s going to explode out of me. But that’s when I finally see what has happened.

Derek’s on top of Ryan. He’s throwing punch after punch to the man’s face. I hear nothing. I can’t see Ryan’s face. I can’t focus on the scene as it begins to grow fuzzy.

My heart rate is increasing. My breathing grows shallow. My eyes can’t comprehend what I’m seeing before me.

It’s Derek protecting me.

I can’t seemingly focus on one thing. I, instead, feel my body swaying. Then, I slide down the wall to the floor, the world around me spinning nonstop.

The next thing I see is Derek moving slowly, turning to me. I can tell he’s calling my name by reading his lips, but I still can’t hear him.

He moves away from Ryan’s now still body. The man on the ground's nose is bleeding, and his face is a different shade of red than I ever imagined.

I still can’t speak, trembling from where I sit in a daze. My mind flashes with all my past instances of abuse. From my childhood to Ken from Max to this very moment, it works like a circle in replaying the hell.

“The police are on their way.”

I guess my hearing is fighting to work again, hearing Derek’s voice very faintly in the room.

But he isn’t looking at me. Instead, it’s at my bastard husband. “I have cameras set up everywhere in this complex. The police will have a field day with that. Not to mention you assaulting Esme just because she won’t take you back. You’re going to regret this day for the rest of your sorry, miserable life.”

Derek spits on the man, who doesn’t move.

But I can’t hold it in anymore.

Every bit that has worked to tear me down, every second I’ve endured hell and further trauma or felt my world spin out of control, I’ve fought to stay strong.

But now? Now, I just completely lose it.

I wail like an infant, sobbing heavily into my own hands, wanting nothing more than to explode into a million pieces. My entire body heaves as I scream for long seconds. It’s too much, it’s just all too much for me to handle.

The sounds of my screams indicate a person who’s been broken down to pieces.

Ryan did it. He managed to break every remaining bit of spirit I’d held onto so tightly.

“The police are coming, Esme. It’s going to be okay.”

I can’t answer him.

Derek chooses to sit next to me and pushes my hair out of my face.

“I’m going to fix all of this. I swear to God. I won’t let this bastard break you.”

I let Derek hold me as I shut down almost completely.

“I’m right here. I’m not going to leave.”

His words should bring me comfort. I’m left feeling as though I’m fucking numb.