Chapter 70

“Miss Esme!” The chorus of the two kids calling my name is a feeling nothing else in the world can compare to. They run into the apartment, both wanting to give me a hug. Their giggles and smiles are powerful, making me want to melt into a happy puddle.

“Girls!” I cheerily call back, squatting down to give them both big hugs.

Even though I was just with them earlier this afternoon, the hugs and their presence are needed. I’m so happy to see their little faces in my apartment again.

“Can we see Sammy?” Tris asks, holding a doll in her hand.

“Sure thing, he’s in the bedroom. Go find him, he’s lounging.”

The girls’ laughter fills the apartment, the patter of their little feet rushing down the hall to find my cat, making me so glad to see them again.

“Sorry we took so long. Tris didn’t want to get off the swings. Sometimes there’s only so much you can do, right?”

Derek’s eyes are bright, but when he and I make eye contact, he seems to pull back a little, almost as if something scares him.

“What, what is it?” I question him.

“What happened?”

I blush, turning my face away. “Am I really that pathetic and obvious?”

Derek takes two steps closer, his gentle smile reassuring. “Not pathetic. Not obvious. But I know you. And clearly, the hours between the party and now have brought you some sort of news that is affecting you.”

Do I spill the truth and involve him once again, even though Ryan’s still my husband and Derek is nothing more than a friend, my boss, and my neighbor?

Or do I put on a large, fake smile and assure him there’s nothing he or anyone can do and that all I need right now is time?

“Esme,” he says with a lower, whispery tone. “I don’t want you to retreat back into that cave in your mind. We’re not going to do that anymore. We can establish a new norm here—a better norm, in fact.”

My stomach churns again, anxiety fighting its way to freedom.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. I’m not sure what else I can say that isn’t the truth.

Shaking my head, I find a spot on the wall to stare at. Like ripping off a Band-Aid, it’s better to do it quickly.

“The restraining order was denied. Ryan’s not going to leave me alone. The divorce papers have to be refiled. I don’t know what the hell to do.”

It’s a quick shift from worry to aggravated. Derek’s dark eyes are filled with hatred; if he could, I know smoke would be coming out of his ears.

“There’s no use in getting angry. What am I going to do?”

“Your idiot of a lawyer could, oh, I don’t know, do his job?” He snarls.

“He is doing his job,” I hiss back, keeping my voice from rising for the sake of his girls.

“Clearly not, since the order was denied. What could he possibly not understand with your situation?”

I roll my eyes without a thought. “It wasn’t because of Daniel, it was Ryan!”

“Why?”

“Ryan is the one who continues to avoid the restraining order. The cops keep searching for him. If the cops can’t serve the order legally, there’s nothing that can be done. You know all of this; I’ve been dealing with it since the beginning.”

Derek groans, closing his eyes and shaking his head as though he’s been defeated.

“Let me help.”

I shake my head back. “There’s nothing you can do, Derek. How are you going to get a restraining order to stick?”

“You really underestimate my abilities.”

“I don’t underestimate you; that’s not it. It’s the fact of the matter. For months, new frustrations keep coming at me. What can you possibly do that I can’t? Or even my lawyer?”

“For starters, I’ve actually been here.”

A rush of warmth hits my chest, then my cheeks. Feels a little foolish of me to be filled with excitement at hearing the man say he’s been here for me.

Derek takes a step forward, narrowing his eyes more than I thought him capable. “Second, let me remind you of my job position and who we work for. You think the heads of the company don’t have incredibly smart and witty lawyers?”

It only now occurs to me that Derek’s right—I didn’t even think about Jackson, Paulson, and Pomperio Inc’s legal defense.

“And finally, there’s stake in this for your baby.”

Damn, he really is brilliant.

“I just don’t want you to worry about any of this any longer.”

“Why wouldn’t I worry? I told you, you’ve become important to me, and one thing you should always remember is that I will do anything for the people I care for.”

I hope my cheeks aren’t turning a very obvious color of red.

“You may think right now you have to retreat into your corner and lick your wounds. Instead, let’s plan a strategy.”

I look at Derek, then to the trash where the flowers from my shitty husband are. Then to the room where the girls are.

My entire world is in this apartment: this baby, this man, and his girls. I keep expecting Derek to drop whatever this thing is that we’re doing, but for what? All so no one gets hurt?

That’s the thing, though. Every time we try to return to a life before I lived here, things seemingly only grow worse.

“If you’re worried about the timing,” Derek adds as I’m thinking. “Don’t worry, we’ll sort it out.”

I imagine Ryan outside my apartment again. Then, think of my cousin, thinking she’s found love and then losing the baby she was so excited to have. And then, I see Derek and that kind smile. The way he’s jumped through hoops, his kindness, and his forgiveness are always on display.

“Daddy!” I hear a chorus behind us, Bea and Tris running up to the two of us. The youngest grabs his leg, hugging him.

“Whoa!” Derek laughs. “Did you two have fun with Sammy?”

Bea nods emphatically. “We still want a kitty!”

I can’t help but snort quietly at Bea’s persistence. Instead, I lower myself to Bea’s level. “I don’t think your dad can pull that off right now. But how about a different birthday present instead?”

Her little eyes light up with glee, surprised as she looks between us.

“Another gift?” She asks with genuine interest and wonder.

When do we lose that thrill? I feel as though I haven’t been so excited for anything other than this baby.

Bea’s excitement also proves how surprised she is, and it’s a testament that Derek’s raised them not to be so spoiled. It makes me want to cry, wondering how I’ll be able to remember it all as a mom.

“We need Miss Esme’s help for the gift, though,” Derek says as he picks up Tris. “Does that sound good to you both?”

“Miss Esme’s coming with us?” Tris claps her hands.

“Is that okay?” I smirk.

“Please come, yes!” Bea’s own smile rivals all, and again I hope that my baby is as sweet and caring.

“Well, okay. Why don’t we all go together?”

The birthday girl tilts her head a little. “Where are we going?”

“Super top secret!” Derek exclaims, tickling his toddler.

“I think you’ll love it, Bea,” I tell her. “I’m excited to be there with you.”

Bea does something I’m still not used to, and that’s coming up and hugging me. Maybe I’m wrong, but it feels like she’s accepted me into her life as more than just her neighbor with the cat she loves.

I know Derek will need some help with Bea and the piercings, but that’s why I’m glad I can be there for them. I’m not trying to replace their mom. I’m just giving them the acceptance and appreciation that they deserve.

“I know just the place, too,” I wink at Derek.

The girls are excited and can’t wait for the surprise. Derek seems content with the plans. And I feel just a little bit better.

Maybe being with these people is just what I need right now.