Chapter 53

“It was so cute!” I can’t help but squeal as Derek and I head back to our apartments. “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen an ultrasound of a baby.”

“Really?”

“You’re the only person in my life with kids,” I state plainly. “I’ve never even been pregnant before.”

“Well, that part was easier to deduce,” he smirks.

I roll my eyes, shoving his arm as we stop at a red light. “Shut up!”

“Do you feel any better now, though? Having seen the baby on the ultrasound?” He turns his head to me, smiling that same smile I’ve grown to love. Some days, I’d do anything for his bright, cheery eyes and smile, looking at me like there’s no one else on the planet.

“I do.”

“So, maybe you should thank your incredibly kind and understanding boss slash neighbor for going with you?”

I shove him again, harder this time as he bursts into hard laughter.

“I’ll take that as a yes!”

Rolling my eyes, I look back through the windshield.

At times, it almost feels like Derek and I are genuinely together—which would make the baby his. He’s not the real dad, but he could be. It’s easier to imagine a world where he’s in the delivery room with me.

Derek would be a great parent to the baby. I’ve already seen him take care of Bea and Tris. I’ve seen how he’s taken his time to help me when I’ve been in crisis.

In the past few months, it’s strange that he and I have grown so close. Hell, the fact that he drove me today and sat with me for the ultrasound should be proof enough of his kindness.

“Earth Esme Price. Come in, Esme.”

Derek is stopped at another light, one dark eyebrow raised. “You alive in there?”

I smile, though I swear I can feel my cheeks heating up. I reach up and grab my necklace chain, pulling it side to side as I nod my head quickly.

“Was just thinking about the baby.”

“Fair enough.”

“You really think I can do this on my own?” I ask with no preamble. His expression only changes slightly with my words, going from a bit surprised to sympathetic.

“I think,” he starts, taking a deep breath out. “That you are an incredible, strong, compassionate woman.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question,” I counter.

Shrugging, he turns on his blinker as he heads off to the last turns before our apartments. “You have your friends. You have your family. And you have me and the girls.”

“I don’t even know if I should fight Ryan for custody.”

“That might come with the baby being born. The divorce battle will already be very stressful and taxing to you and the baby.”

“Am I making a mistake, then? Keeping the baby when I’m about to go through one of the hardest fights of my life?”

His head shakes a bit back and forth. “No. You said yourself you two were trying to have a kid. And I’ve seen your worth ethic. If anyone should have a baby and be a mother in this world, it’s you.”

Again with the blood rushing to my face and making me blush. If Ryan wasn’t trying to get rid of me, would I have been able to see the sweet nature of Derek Anderson?

Maybe not. But I’m also glad I’ve grown to know him as the man beside me in the car, and not just my boss.

“You know what the hardest part I’ve found in raising kids?” Derek asks.

“Money?” I question with a hint of sarcasm.

“Doubting myself.”

“Why’s that?”

“When you have kids, no one gives you a manual. It’s kind of trial and error, learning as you go. You’re not going to be a perfect parent, but there are no such things.”

I push some of my blonde hair behind my ear as I look back at the man. “You always seem to know how to reach me and my racing thoughts.”

Maybe it’s silly to remind myself that I have no true need for a man in my life and that I’ve grown into the headstrong woman that I see the reflection of in the windshield. But I see the genuine care Derek continues to display.

My stomach flips over again, and I want to ask him if there’s something between us. But the thought is absolutely silly. How can I expect my boss to reciprocate feelings for me when I’ve built him up in my head already?

As we pull into the parking lot of the apartments and Derek kills the engine, we sit in silence for a moment. I go over in my head a thank you to him, something that I can say that’ll be worth a damn.

“I want to tell you something I’ve been keeping from you,” he blubbers suddenly.

My head whips around to him, my anxiety spiking as I wonder to myself if Derek’s about to admit his feelings before I have the chance to.

“Is everything okay?” I manage to ask.

He nods his head, his hands still grasping the steering wheel in front of him. The thing that I don’t notice at first is that his knuckles are turning white.

“Derek, your hands.” I nod my head toward the wheel, which he pulls away from so fast he almost elbows me in the face.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Are you in some trouble? Or like, you’re sick? Cause if that’s what you want to tell me—”

“No, I’m fine, I promise.”

“Okay?”

“I haven’t…been totally honest with you about something.”

“What, are you actually my husband in disguise?” I tease.

“You know how when you told me about the divorce? And I sent you to another floor that could help with living arrangements?”

Now it’s my turn to get serious, and I raise a brow at him. Is he going to tell me that I have to move out cause the company can’t afford the building anymore?

Or worse?

“Now you’re scaring me.”

“The company doesn’t own the complex.”

I rear my head back as if avoiding being slapped by someone. “Wait, what?”

“There is no apartment complex under the company to help people who have nowhere to live. I made that up.”

“Then how the fuck did I get a place here while I was talking to people from the company?”

He sheepishly tucks his head down, and I wait impatiently for an answer.

“It’s actually…I own the building.”

“You what?” How many times in one single conversation is he going to surprise me?

“It’s my building. Under the company’s name, I’ve been renting to you.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I knew you needed somewhere to live, and if I’d suggested Center City Apartments as something to rent through me, you would have turned me down immediately.”

“You’re not only my boss and neighbor, but you’re also my landlord? What is this, a company town?”

“I’m not going to throw you out or fire you for disagreeing with me if that’s what you might be wondering.”

I shake my head. “I’m just trying to get through my head exactly why you did this.”

“To help someone who wouldn’t ask, even if given the chance.”

I watch him, searching for words that can encapsulate my thoughts. But the truth is, he’s right. I’d never have lived here knowing Derek owns the place.

All he always wants to do is help me. Giving me a place to live, time off, a ride, bringing the girls around? He’s been watching out for me longer than I’ve ever realized.

And even though I feel silly, I still reach out and put my hand on top of Derek’s as it sits on his leg.

“Thank you so much.” It’s barely a whisper, but I hope he feels the gratitude through every second we sit here in silence.

My heart soars like a fireworks show as our skin touches, and I question myself once again, about where things might end up with my boss.