Chapter 43

Normally, restraining orders can take up to several months to obtain. But with Daniel’s help and the other lawyers leading the charge, a restraining order is signed in only a week.

“Seems incredibly fast,” I say over the phone with Daniel. “How the hell did you make that happen?”

“It’s more so that they can’t contact you or be alone without your attorney present,” he explains, banging papers on his desk.

“So, if any of you are here, then legally, they are allowed to talk to me?”

“Sorry, Esme. Only so much we can do right now.”

“Well, considering I know restraining orders aren’t usually produced and signed in seven days, I do understand.”

“The good news is, the less they see you, the better we can work the case. I’d much rather you not be surrounded by that toxicity anyway.”

It’s not just the toxicity I’m glad to be rid of. It’s Ryan’s actual shitty self. He and Melinda have been trying to bother me ever since we ran into one another. Not only that, but Angie has tried to get me to back out of this divorce again.

“Mom! I’ve made up my mind, and what’s done is done!” I’d told her on our last call. She’s backed off, but only for now.

I know how she works.

“They really are awful people,” I reply, shaking my head as I let out a long sigh.

“Seems like they really are made for one another,” Daniel adds.

“That’s the shitty thing. Is I wasted all those years on Ryan! And then when I don’t produce him a baby, he just impregnates my cousin! Why can’t any of that be illegal in the eyes of the court?”

I’m rambling now, I know, but I’m so frustrated over all of this nonsense that has continued to follow me since the day I left.

“I’m sure it is probably illegal in some states,” my lawyer assures me.

I groan. “Too bad for me, then.”

Yet, I wonder what the case might be if Ryan found out I’m pregnant. Or if Daniel did.

Or Derek of all people.

Ryan obviously wants nothing to do with me or a child that I can give him, so I know he won’t be begging for me back. But Daniel might think it’s a hatchet to our case.

And Derek?

I don’t want to imagine that reality.

Walking around my apartment while holding the phone to my ear, I make my way back to the kitchen table where the mess of documents lay.

I pick up the paper again that Daniel had sent off to get approved. At the bottom is my signature, showing that I am in agreement with the restraining order.

I feel a child-like eagerness swell inside of me. I feel like I might burst from this shred of happiness.

“Thank you, by the way,” I finally tell Daniel.

“What for?” He seems confused.

I return the paper to the pile and lean against the dining room chair. “I know things with us started off…not ideal for an attorney/clientele point of view.”

He breathes a laugh into the phone. “I don’t believe it’s the strongest beginning to a working relationship I’ve had.”

I wave my arm in the air to get to my point. “But you’ve been so helpful, supportive, and reliable. I’m genuinely thankful you came along when you did to help me get through this awful divorce.”

“Esme,” he says, lowering his voice. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“I mean, I am paying you,” I tease.

“I’d be doing this regardless,” he interjects.

I stop in my place. “I think working a case like this pro-bono would be really bad for your firm, though?”

I wait, confused by what Daniel is even saying at this point. But a few seconds turns into thirty, and he says nothing.

“Daniel?” I finally ask, hesitantly.

“Sorry!” He answers, somewhat louder than earlier.

“It’s fine; just making sure you’re still there. Just wanted to thank you. I look forward to the day I’m fully rid of Ryan, Melinda, and their stupid baby.”

“Hey, the baby did nothing wrong.”

“The baby is being born to two horrible people. It’s the baby I feel bad for.”

Maybe I should send the restraining order to my mom. I mean, telling me to stop fighting for a divorce is one thing. But legal documentation?

And I should share it with Derek, too. I think he’ll be glad I’ve taken a step in the right direction now.

“That…reminds me.” Daniel sounds a bit off as he speaks again. “How is uh, everything else?”

“What about everything else?” I question.

“Oh, you know. If you’re divorcing Ryan…” Silence for a few beats. “Just wanted to ask about how your dating life is going otherwise.”

And there it is.

I have been hoping his romantic feelings may have died down. If he wasn’t the only damn lawyer that would take my case, I never would have asked him to help.

But no. He’s still clearly falling for me—which is not a feeling I’m used to.

Ryan has been the only man I’ve ever truly loved. Daniel is a kind man, but I don’t feel any sort of way for him.

I guarantee he’s going to ask me on a date now.

He might as well just come out with it and ask point blank, “Seeing anyone?”

I don’t want to hurt him because even if he can keep working on my divorce, how do I know he’s not going to do something to make us lose out of jealousy?

“Oh,” I finally manage to strain out.

What do I say? How do I keep him from pining over me with this silly crush?

I look around the apartment, trying to find an answer as if it’ll be written in the walls.

“I actually just started seeing someone,” I blurt out without thinking, shocked and dismayed at my own lies.

And is he a seven-foot-tall model with a long head of hair? Because that is how ridiculous I sound right now, even to myself!

“Are you now?”

Daniel buys this? How is that possible?

“Yeah!” I say too loudly. “We’ve only been out like twice together, but you know, when you know, you know. You know?”

Rambling on is going to make you into an ass, Esme.

“Well.” I hear his deflated tone, and something in me wishes I could apologize for hurting him. Even though I know it’s not my place to apologize to him, I still want to.

Maybe it’s the people pleaser in me that has these feelings because the only feelings I genuinely want to focus on are my own.

“I’ve spent so long being someone’s wife. I didn’t think I wanted to learn what it was like to be with another man so quickly. But life is fleeting, and risks are meant to be taken!”

Shut up, Esme!

“I have a few more calls to make,” Daniel says, thankfully putting a sock in my mouth to stop me from being a complete ass.

“Got it,” I nod, though I know he doesn’t see me. “Thanks again, Daniel, really.”

Still sounding down, he sighs. “No problem, Esme. I’ll talk to you in a few days. Other paperwork that must be done.”

“Okay.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

With the beeps in my ear, I sigh so loud that I worry Daniel may hear me across town.

God, I really need to get some advice on what to do with this man. I can’t have my lawyer feeling a particular type of way about me. Plus, what happens when he wants to see or even meet the guy I’m “going out with”?

I can already imagine it being essential to the case, and my heart begins to race.

“No way, Esme, no panic attacks today,” I mumble, bringing my phone from my ear and pulling up Derek’s name.

“Esme?”

“Derek, hey. I’m in the middle of a, uh, a problem. Am I able to come over? I need some advice, honestly.”

“Of course, yes. I’m grabbing the mail now, but go ahead inside and say hi to the girls. I’ll see you in a few.”

Sighing, I lean my head back in relief.

“Thanks, Derek.”