Chapter 161

I didn’t often allot myself lazy days, where I ignored my alarm and instead awoke from the sun’s brightness peeking in through the windows. But today was a special kind of day, because today I was waking up in Logan’s arms.

My cheek was pressed to Logan’s bare chest. Like this, I could listen to the beat of his heart and feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

This was peaceful. No blaring alarms. No pressures to be anywhere. Just Logan and me and the morning sun.

I felt the moment he awakened, a hitch in his breathing jostled me a little. He lifted a hand away from my back to rub at one of his eyes.

“Am I dreaming?” he asked. “Or was last night the dream?”

I laughed a little as I raised my head. Placing my chin on his chest where my ear had been, I looked straight up into his eyes.

“No dream,” I told him. “Last night and right now are both real. “Unless you actually dreamed something better while you were asleep…”

“Impossible.” Logan lowered his hands down to my waist and then pulled me farther up the length of his body so that our faces were closer, our lips mere inches apart. “Nothing could be better than what we did last night.”

I laughed again, warmed from the inside out, even as my heart began to pick up speed in my chest. Memories of last night pour through my mind… The places Logan kissed… The way his hands were both gentle and firm… The breathy gasps he made in my ear… The way he moaned my name…

Hazel…

My cheeks heat up. Logan must see it because, grinning with confidence, he pulls me closer to him and kisses me.

“Was that what it was like on our wedding night?” I ask, when we come up for air.

“Better,” Logan says. “Last night we weren’t two drunk people fumbling in the dark.”

I hum as I press my lips to his. Locking his arms around me, he rotates us so that I’m pressed down, back into the mattress, with him looming over me. Combing my fingers through his hair, I encourage him to keep kissing me. He does. And he does.

We spend most of the morning making out in the bed. It’s only when my stomach grumbles that we pull apart.

“I’ll make you breakfast,” Logan says.

It’s a sweet offer, but I vividly recall the disaster of a dinner he made the other night.

“Let’s make it together,” I suggest.

He appears thoughtful. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”

Regretfully, we pull apart from each other. I throw on an old t-shirt I sometimes sleep in. Logan doesn’t have any pajamas here – something we need to rectify. For now, he pulls on his boxers. We hold hands as we walk into the kitchen.

“I could get used to this, you know,” I say. It’s so domestic, so wholesome, waking up with Logan and making breakfast with him. I wouldn’t mind doing this every day.

“Me, too,” Logan says. He tugs on my hand so that I stumble into him. He takes advantage of the closeness to press a kiss against my temple.

When I’m steady again, he adds, “I wish we could live together.”

My heart leaps forward a beat. “Oh?”

“But we can’t,” he says. “Not while we’re keeping our relationship secret. You living in my house would be a dead giveaway.”

At once, my heart went from soaring high to crashing straight down onto the floorboards.

His words made sense. Living together would give away the true nature of our relationship to anyone who was paying attention. I’d have to resign as Logan’s secretary if that were to happen. Worse, Logan’s reputation would be in tatters.

I didn’t want anything bad to happen to Logan, but… I wanted to be selfish too. I secretly wished Logan would allow chaos to reign, and publically declare me as his wife.

Together, Logan and I set to making pancakes. It was fun, even with Logan’s limited cooking experiences. I was enjoying trying to teach him.

I let him pour the batter onto the skillet, and he accidentally made a giant pancake. With him and a spatula on one side and me with my own spatula on the other, we somehow managed to flip the massive pancake on the skillet without it breaking or making a mess.

When it was finished, we cut it into pieces, laughing the whole time.

Despite the fun and lighthearted experience, however, a weight still pressed down heavy on my heart that hadn’t been there when I woke up this morning.

I understood the necessity of keeping us a secret, but that didn’t mean I had to like it.

Especially when that secret meant leading Tina on.

After we finished eating, we sat in comfortable silence at the table, looking at our dirty dishes and the mess we had made of the kitchen.

Now wasn’t the best time to bring up what I wanted to talk about, but honestly, I struggled to think of a time that would be good for this conversation.

There would never be a good time.

“I think you should tell Tina the truth,” I said, blurting it all out before I could lose my nerve.

Logan startled slightly, likely not having expected this topic.

“About us?” he asked.

“It’s unfair to keep her in the dark. She’s out there thinking she has a shot with you, and you are married.”

Logan considered my words but then he shook his head. “She could go public with that info.”

“Then you can deny it,” I said. “But it isn’t right to deceive her like this. I’d be much happier if she was in on it. Maybe you can convince her to help us keep our secret?”

“It’s risky…” Logan said.

“I know…” I deflated somewhat. I had to trust Logan’s judgement, since I didn’t fully trust my own. It could be my own insecurity and jealousy that made me want to tell Tina the truth.

But… really… if I were the one in Tina’s position, I would want to know the truth.

Logan watched me for a long moment, studying my face. “Alright,” he said, after a long moment.

“Alright?” I repeated, unsure.

Logan stood abruptly and walked into the bedroom.

“Logan?” I called.

He returned a moment later, holding his cell phone. He held up a hand to silence me as he placed a call and brought his phone up to his ear.

“Tina? Yes, yes, good morning,” he said into the phone. “Listen… There’s something important I need to discuss with you. Are you available tomorrow?” He paused to listen. “Yes, that would be fine. Come by my office, if you can, so we can talk. Yes. See you then.”

Logan hung up the phone and lowered his hand. To me, he said, “I’ll speak with her tomorrow.”

Feeling nervous now, I stood and walked toward him. This was my idea, I couldn’t back down now, but my nerves were prickling like something was wrong. I didn’t know what, exactly. But I had a really bad feeling all of a sudden.

“I’ll tell her the truth about us,” Logan said. “And we’ll see how she reacts.”