Chapter 31
Viviane’s POV
“Viviane, what is this?” Kiera asks, twisting around in bed to observe all the pearls scattered among the sheets.
“I–” Fresh tears hover on my lashes. Now that my cover is blown, I can’t seem to hold back my feelings anymore. Pearls drip from my skin like luminous stalactites. “I wanted to tell you.”
“Tell me what?” Kiera asks, her cheeks flushed with color, “That you’ve been lying to me from the day we met?”
“I didn’t have a choice.” I hiccup, “my mother made me promise never to tell anyone.”
“Parents always have stupid rules like that.” Kiera brushes the excuse aside. “You were supposed to be my friend.” She reminds me emphatically, “Friends don’t keep secrets!”
“You don’t know what it was like.” I explain desperately, “When we first came here it seemed like every shifter was against us.”
“You and I were never like the others!” Kiera insists, rising from the bed and flipping on the bedroom light. “Do you think it mattered to me whether you were a cat or a mermaid?” She asks, “We were outsiders either way – I wouldn’t have cared, I don’t care!”
“I’m sorry.” I entreaty. “You have no idea how hard it’s been to keep this secret.”
“I might have, if you’d let me in!” She exclaims, “You didn’t have to go it all alone. I trusted you with everything, I never kept anything from you.”
“I know.” I drag my palms over my eyes, trying to staunch the flow of salty tears. “When Caspian found out I–”
“Caspian knows?!” Kiera all but shouts, “You told him before you told me?”
“I didn’t choose to tell either of you.” I squeak, “He found out the same way you did.” My shaking hands gesture to the pearls, “it wasn’t planned.”
“And you think that makes it better?” Kiera demands hoarsely. “What did you think I would do? Did you believe I would betray you?”
“No!” I contend weakly, “I just…”
Flames dance in Kiera’s bright eyes, “I understand lying when we first met, but we’ve been friends for years, Viviane.”
“I’m so sorry, Kiera.” I whimper. “I was scared.”
“Of me?” She challenges incredulously. “Of your best friend?”
“Please, just let me explain.” I cry.
“Go ahead then.” Kiera hisses, her demeanor growing increasing feline the more upset she becomes, “Explain.” She prompts, pursing her lips and glaring at me when I continue to stare at her helplessly, “Explain!”
“I didn’t want to lose my only friend!” I finally break, “I couldn’t bear it if you thought I was just a disgusting mutant like all the others.”
The cat shifter crosses her arms over her chest, her sharp jaw going rigid, “That isn’t me, Viviane.”
“I know I should have trusted you, I know you aren’t like that.” I concede, wringing my hands. “but until Caspian, I never met a shifter that didn’t think that way.”
“You knew me long before you knew Caspian.” Kiera snaps, “I’ve never thought that way and while I might be able to understand your fear of our kind as a whole, I cannot fathom how you could know me for so many years and still not trust that I will always be on your side.”
I shake my head pitifully, “It’s not that simple.” I stand firm. “You don’t know what my life was like before, you don’t know what I went through–”
“No, I don’t.” She agrees bitterly, “but whose fault is that, Viviane?”
“Mine.” I admit, staring at the ground. “You can’t know what I don’t tell you.”
Softening slightly, Kiera returns to the bed, sitting next to me on the plush mattress. “So, do you want to tell me now?”
My lower lip trembles as I stare up at my friend, the disappointment on her pretty face growing as it becomes clear to both of us I cannot do what she asks. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, I want to let her in, I just can’t figure out how to find the words.
“I’m sorry, Kiera.” I murmur, “It’s not you… it’s me. I guess I just don’t know how to be close to people.”
“You don’t seem to have that problem with Caspian.” Kiera derides, gathering up stray pearls.
“You’re right.” I choke, scrambling for my clothes as sobs rise in my throat. “I’m sorry I’m such a terrible friend.” I hurriedly yank on my shoes, heading for the door before my friend can stop me, “I don’t know why you ever liked me in the first place.”
“Viviane, wait –”
The door slams before she can get out another word. I slip out behind Caspian’s guards, tiptoeing down the hall and praying to the Gods they don’t hear me. I desperately need a moment to myself. I can’t remember the last time I had a spare second just to think – it seems like I haven’t had any peace since Nerissa first turned up asking me to sing for her in the talent competition.
I take off into the night, heading for the safety of home, no matter my mate’s orders to stay at my friend’s. I can’t bring myself to worry about his reaction right now, I need to see my mother, to be in my own bed. I should never have agreed to go to Kiera’s anyway, if I’d gone home straight after the ball, this all could have been avoided.
“It was awful.” I moan into my hands, sitting at the kitchen table and ignoring the cup of tea my mother has placed in front of me. “You should have seen the look on her face.”
“What did she say?” Mom prods anxiously.
“She didn’t seem to care that I’m not a shifter.” I explain with exhaustion, “but she hates me for lying to her. I can’t really blame her either.”
“She must understand you did what you must to survive, to stay safe.” Mom assures me in soothing tones, “She’s hurt now, but it won’t last, my love.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” I sigh, “we’ve been friends for years, it’s not as if I didn’t know I could trust her.”
“Kiera’s a smart girl, and she has a good heart.” Mom praises. In truth, Kiera is one of the few shifters in which my mother has ever found virtue. “Just give her some time.”
“I will.” I sigh, “After all, what else can I do?”
“Well, you might call your wolf.” She replies simply.
I look up from the dark grains of the wooden table, certain I’ve misheard my mother. “What?”
“I think he was right to send you away tonight.” She admits, “I think it is dangerous for us to be here with Mordred on the loose.”
“But you hate Caspian!” I exclaim.
“I do not!” Mom emits a heavy exhale. “I confess, I didn’t want to like him.” She raises her palms defensively, “And I don’t love the idea of you being with any shifter, but I can’t deny he was convincing.”
Caspian never told me how he convinced Mom to let me attend the ball, but something tells me I’m about to find out. “I’m not well, Angelfish.” She frowns, “There’s no use pretending otherwise. I can’t protect you.”
“He said that to you?” I growl protectively.
“Not in so many words.” She refutes, “But it’s true. I can’t defend you from Mordred, I couldn’t then, and I especially can’t now.”
“We can still leave.” I whisper, not sure where the words came from. I don’t want to go somewhere new, but I can’t stand the idea of my mother feeling this way. How afraid does she have to be to actually consider taking help from wolves? How much must it hurt her to feel like she isn’t enough to care for her child?
“No, Viviane.” She answers firmly. “It isn’t like before – we can’t just float into a settlement in some other town. Things are changing out there.” She continues huskily, staring out the window at the flashing lights and sirens blaring on the street below. “I went to the old neighborhood today; it isn’t good.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, nerves fluttering in my belly.
“Traffickers.” The word drops like a hammer, “Mermaids are disappearing left and right. Anyone young enough to produce pearls or pretty enough to be sold to a brothel. Azure said it’s been going on for a few months now.” She shares, referencing the leader of the community where we lived when we first arrived in Asterion. “I went to see her after talking to your wolf. I wanted to see if it could really be worse than what it was before.”
It didn’t seem possible, those early days in the city were horrible in ways entirely unique to the challenges of the farms or Mordred’s house – different but terrible in their own special way. “But it was?”
“He was right.” Mom grimaces, looking truly beaten. “About everything.”
“So what do we do?” I ask, feeling suddenly very young.
“I don’t think we have a choice.” Mom shrugs, “We need help.”
I wrap my arms around myself, thinking about the wolf determined to take me as his mate. My Mom is probably right, but I’m not sure it’s possible to accept Caspian’s help without also encouraging this mate business. After all, I know the man well enough to realize that if I give him permission to take over one part of my life, he won’t stop there. “So what do you want to do?”
“I think you need to call him.” Mom advises, “let him know what happened – before he hears it from his guards.”
